Accidental Love

Chapter 1

*Ellen is poor and Portia is a lawyer*

I groan when I hear my alarm “nooo, ten more minutes…” I mumble before I hit the snooze button. I lay there thinking about my life. How I need to keep this job, it’s not the best but it helps me get by. Even if I still live with mama it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help her with the bills and other things. I rush to do my normal morning routine when I take a look at the time I run to the door.

"This is going to be a long day" I say to myself. If I hadn't run to the bus stop I would’ve missed the bus for work. Today I'm late and I hope Dave, my supervisor, won't be angry at me. He's very strict when it comes to work but he's a good person and treats me like the daughter he doesn't have.

"I'm so sorry for being late please don't be angry it's just that, well I overslept and nearly missed the bus..." I tried thinking of an excuse but since I'm not a good liar I might as well say the truth.

"Don't worry about it, don't make it a habit and let this happen again alright?" He warns me.

"Yeah I need this job more than you think."

"I know, enough chit chat, now I need you to get to work the restaurant will open soon and we need to set-up everything." He says in his authoritative voice.

It's getting close to lunch time and the restaurant started to get full with customers demanding service and being rude more so when their order are late. I'm told to take an order to a customer who seems to be very impatient and arrogant. I am in a rush to his table to deliver the food when I stumble over my feet falling with the tray and plates going all over the floor. I get up, ignoring my own pain, to pick up the mess I made when this blonde lady comes to help me.

"Are you alright? Do you need any help?" She reaches for my arm concerned.

"I'm fine but it's okay I got it, I don't want you to get dirty" I say smiling to her.

"Oh don't be silly" she says and starts to help me.

She is the most beautiful lady I've ever seen with amazing eyes and a smile that takes my breath away. I stare at her while picking up the plates of food only to find her staring at me already. I blush and look down, I hear her laugh and that's the most adorable laugh ever. After we finish cleaning up we chat for a bit before I have to get back to work.

"I'm Ellen by the way, nice to meet you under these circumstances" I say in a shy voice. She extends her hand for me to shake and when our hands touch I feel this tingly feeling that goes all over my body which I've never felt before.

"I'm Portia nice to meet you too." She says in her sophisticated voice, which sounds very sexy.

“Thank you so much for helping me when you didn’t have to, I…” I’m at a loss for words, I can’t seem to form a coherent thought when I look at her.

Lost in my thoughts I was startled when Portia says she has to go and leaves me staring at the spot she was just standing at.

I look around the restaurant trying to find her with no luck, it almost as if she disappeared into thin air. I hear my coworkers yelling at me to go to work but I just can't concentrate with Portia occupying my thoughts. I feel that if I carry another tray full of food I'll trip again with my knees being weak after meeting her. If to see her again I have to trip then by God I hope it happens.

I go home and I try to go to sleep thinking of her and to my surprise I end up dreaming about her.  

Chapter 2

Next week at work I'm interrupted by someone tapping on my shoulder. I turn around and smile like an idiot when I see Portia standing in front of me. This may sound crazy but I believe in love at first sight and I think this may just have happened to me, it would also be my first love. I don't know if she felt anything the day we met and I'm hoping that she did.

"Hi Ellen, how have you been?" she says in that voice of hers that I love.

"Good but now I'm great that I see you again." I say shyly and I think I saw her blush but I could be mistaking.

"How about you?"

"I've been alright just been busy with job and things like that." We small talk for a bit about everything and anything. Her family, her job and find out we have many things in common.

"Can I have your phone number?" Portia asks me in a confident voice and I blush before I give it to her.

I've found out that she is a lawyer and when we met she came with some friends from her job but had to leave as soon as she helped me clean up. She is 25 years old, she has an older brother, Michael, who she hasn't seen in a while because her parents are divorced and he lives with their dad. Mine are divorced as well and my brother too lives with our dad, mama is amazing and I don't seem to miss my dad at all. I've never felt so comfortable talking to someone that I just met as I feel with Portia.

Soon I tell her I have to get back to work and she has this disappointing look on her face that breaks my heart. We say our goodbyes and before she exits the restaurant she turns to look at me, smiles, points to her ear and mouths ‘I’ll call you’ giving me a wink before she walks out.

I get home ready to sleep when my phone rings with a number that I don’t know, I answer it anyway.

“Hello pretty girl” a woman says in a seductive voice and my mouth goes dry.

“He-he…Hello” I stutter.

“Do you know who I am?” she says in an alluring voice.

“Um…I…” is all I seem to be able to say nervously.

“Do you think I'm Portia? Just say yes or no if you can’t speak yet” she teases me.

“Yes”

“I just called to wish a goodnight to someone I’ve been thinking about lately.”

“I…uh…thank you” I honestly can't think of anything else to say.

“Goodnight pretty girl” she says in an enticing voice before she hangs up.

I’m transfixed and can’t seem to move when suddenly I realize that Portia was flirting with me and a broad smile appears on my face.

‘I hope I dream with you Portia’ is my last thought before I fall in a deep slumber.

Chapter 3

Two weeks have passed and Portia and I have gotten to know each other so well, we talk for long time on the phone. Sometimes we joke and flirt, I feel myself falling for her. At this point I’m just hoping she has the same feelings for me as I do for her.

Today is my day off and she called to ask if we could meet at the restaurant I work during dinner time and I eagerly said yes.

I pace back and forth waiting for her to arrive, I’ve never been so nervous in my life. I feel how my hands are shaking and start to get sweaty, I hyperventilate anticipating my encounter with Portia.

I decided to sit down so I’m relaxed by the time she arrives. I look towards the entrance and see her come in and I notice how she makes something simple as walking look so sexy. I love how her hips sway from side to side as she strides towards me, I feel butterflies in my stomach when she looks at me. This is the first time we’ve had a “date” and suddenly I forget how to speak so I just smile at her.

“Hi sorry I’m late, much traffic tonight.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Finally I can speak I say to myself and laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" she asks giving me that smile that I love.

"I honestly have no idea" I chuckle.

"Well at least today you can speak unlike other times when we talk on the phone" she says with a sly grin.

She likes to tease me and I love it.

"What can I say you make me nervous"

"Oh do I?" she whispers getting closer to me.

"Very" I say shyly.

She gets close to my ear and says In a sultry voice "can I know why?"

I swallow hard and try to regain my voice.

"I...uh...umm" I kick myself mentally for not being able to form a sentence.

She backs away with mischievous look. Thank god the waiter came to take our order and I try to take this time to calm down and get hold of myself. As soon as he leaves Portia turns to look at me nervously.

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you Ellen"

"Is not something bad right? Is it something I did?" I question her.

"It's not bad but you did do it."

I tilt my head to the side confused.

"Ellen...I like you..." she takes a deep breath and continues "since that day we met, when you fell, I have not been able to think of anything but you. Every night I look forward to talking with you on the phone just to hear your voice. I see you and I get butterflies and I feel happy in here" she puts her hand close to her heart and I feel like crying of happiness.

I'm paralyzed, I don't know what to do or say. All I know is that I feel the same about her and I need to tell her but my voice seems like it doesn't want to come back.

I smile to her, which should be assurance that I like what she said right? I feel how my cheeks start to hurt from smiling too much.

I compose myself and think of the right words to say.

"Portia...I..."

'Dammit Ellen talk' I say to myself.

I take a deep breath and say "Portia you don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that. The moment I looked into your eyes I knew I felt a connection with you. That first time you called me I was completely speechless, because your voice makes my knees weak and my mouth goes dry every time you look or talk to me. You also make me very happy here" I do what she did and point to my heart.

We both have happy tears, I reach out to wipe them off her beautiful face and she smiles to me which makes my heart stop for a moment. I take her hand and kiss it before she does the same to my hand. We eat while we hold hands and chat about everything just enjoying the night which is better than I ever expected to be.

She drives me back to my place and we hold hands until she stops in front of my house. I turn to look at her only to find her staring at me, I blush and look down. She puts her finger under my chin making me look at her. We stare into each other's eyes for a few seconds before she comes closer to me still looking straight into my eyes. Feeling lost in her eyes, she has me hypnotized and there's nothing I can do about it. I see how she closed her eyes and I feel her breath on my lips which sends a shivering feeling down my back. She's waiting to see if I'll back away but I don't want to, I know what's coming and I want it to happen.

Before I know it I feel soft lips caressing my own with such skill and tenderness, I start kissing her and I feel as if I'm flying and I see fireworks going off in the back of my head. She is such a great kisser I love it, she pulls away first and I keep my eyes close savoring my first and the best kiss ever. As I start to open my eyes she kisses me again but this time she deepens the kiss, she puts her right hand around my neck and I put mine on her waist as I feel her tongue licking my bottom lip and I gladly accept as our tongues swirl together. She pulls back first, I open my eyes and smile at her.

As I'm about to exit the car she grabs my hand making stay in my spot and says "I know this is too early but it would make me really happy if you would maybe want to be my girlfriend?"

I kiss her tenderly and say "will you take that as an answer?" The smile on her face said it all.

I open the door to get out and she says to me halfway to the front door "goodnight baby" and I feel myself falling even harder for her.

Chapter 4

In a week it’ll be our five month anniversary and I’m very excited. Portia told me she had a surprise for tonight, she said to dress formally and be ready by seven. I take a shower as it's almost six, I get out of the shower go look in my closet and I can't decide what to wear. I finally choose black suit with a white buttoned up shirt. I took longer than I expected to get dressed and run to the bathroom to do my hair and put perfume on.

Ten minutes later I hear a knock on the door, I open and see Portia wearing a red dress that highlights her curves which makes my mouth go dry of course. I invite her in so I can give her the gift I had bought for her. I take her hand and lean to kiss her as I drag her to the couch, we take a seat and she hands me a small box as I give her her gift saying "happy anniversary baby" simultaneously and we chuckle.

"You can open your gift my love" she tells me nervously.

"Let's open them together" I tell her.

I take out a gorgeous watch that I've been trying to save money to buy. I love it because she gave it to me but I instantly feel guilty for not buying something worth a bit more.

"I love it baby thank you so much, but I..." I say flustered at the fact that she got me something expensive and I wasn't able to save enough money to get her something nice. All I could afford was a fifty dollar necklace, now I feel ashamed and I look down at my hands.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get you something worthy of you baby...." I say in a sad voice.

"Oh baby..." she sighs as she caresses my cheek. “I love your gift, what is worth more to me is that you gave it to me and with how much love you gave it to me with. Why don't you do me the honor of putting it on me darling?" She asks me sweetly.

"Are you sure you want to wear it instead of the one you have on already?" I ask in disbelief of what she just said.

"Completely sure."

I hesitate to do what she asked me but this just proves to me just how amazing she is. She can easily have a girlfriend that is on her level, one that can spoil her with expensive gifts that can give her everything I can't give her. Instead she chooses to stay with me, a waitress that barely makes enough to support herself much less afford fancy things.

She turns her back to me, takes her blonde locks and I put the necklace on her. I can't resist the urge to kiss her neck and I hear a soft moan as my lips linger on her neck.

"Baby you need to stop otherwise we will be late for something I've prepared for you."

That catches me off guard because she said earlier it was a surprise not something specifically for me.

She takes my hand and we walk to her car. We arrive at a really nice restaurant as we are walking to our table I can't help but look at her perfect toned butt.

"What are you looking at baby?"

"Your perfect butt" I blurt out and blush at what I said.

She just laughs at me but seriously I could not take my eyes off of her butt, I just wanted to touch her but we were in public so I had to keep my hands to myself.

Looking around I realize that we are alone besides two couples that are at a good distance from us. We order our food and drink wine which I must admit I've never drunk before. I was full and my eyes widened at the thought of more food when I see a waiter bringing two slices of red velvet cake. Portia of course notices and gives me a pleading look that I can't say no to.

Just as I'm going to take a bite my fork hits something inside my cake. My heart stops when I see what I think I'm seeing. I put my hand over my mouth in shock and I feel how my eyes start to get watery. My baby gets up from her seat takes the ring in her hand and asks me "will you marry me?"

Chapter 5

"Yes!" I shriek.

I feel how everyone is looking at us and they start clapping. I feel my cheeks burning red from all the attention but I'm only focused on Portia. She puts the ring on my finger, it's so elegant and beautiful. I've never seen a ring like this in my life.

I hug her so tight I think might've broken a bone or something. I put my hands around her waist and kiss her right there not caring who sees us, putting everything I feel into that kiss. I run my tongue over her bottom lip and she lets our tongues explore each other's mouth. She puts her arms around my neck pulling me closer as she plays with the back of my hair. We pull back at the same time and noticed that we both had been crying. We smile at each other and decide to go home.

"Do you want to spend the night at my house baby?"

"If you don't mind I would like to spend the night with my fiancee" I wink at her.

"You're too cute" she tells me.

"And you're hot" I say seductively.

She blushes and hits my arm playfully.

We arrive at her house and she offers if I want anything to drink and say that I'll have whatever she's having. The wine I drunk at the restaurant got me a bit dizzy but completely forgot with what happened. Portia comes back with two glasses of wine and I mumble 'uh-oh' to myself.

After just drinking one glass, it started to take effect on me. I feel a bit tipsy and before I know it I'm on top of Portia kissing her vigorously. I hear her moan into the kiss and that just encourages me to continue so I carry her and she wraps her legs around my waist walking towards her bedroom. This would be my first time.

I lay down with her under me, I continue kissing her this time with everything I have, moving to her neck and whisper to her "I want you Portia." I hear her moan and I start to take her dress off before she stops me and says "st-stop Ellen."

I stop on my tracks and look at her confused, disappointed and hurt that she rejected me.

She cups my face gently caressing my cheek giving me a warm smile.

"I know this is your first time and I just want it to be special for you. I don't want it to happen while you're a bit drunk, I want you to remember it forever. I don't want to rush it like this baby" she says carefully pecking my lips.

Maybe she is right but she's just too sexy.

"Okay...maybe we should wait it's just that fancy wine of yours is too much for me" I tease her and we laugh.

She goes to change clothes to sleep and she brings me some as well. I come out of the bathroom to find Portia already laying on the bed and the pats on the empty spot for me to come. Lying next to her she scoops up to me and spoons me, I feel safe in her arms as if no one can hurt me with her by my side.

We have decided to get married this month because we cannot spend another day without each other. It's been hectic but so much fun planning our wedding. It's going to be a small one only for our family and closest friends. The day has come and I couldn't possibly be more happy standing in front of Portia about to make her my wife.

"Portia, do you take Ellen to be your wife, promising to love her, comfort, honor, respect and care for her for the rest of your life?”

"I do"

"Ellen, do you take Portia to be your wife, promising to love her, comfort, honor, respect and care for her for the rest of your life?”

"I do"

"It's time to say your vows; Ellen would you like to start?"

I take a deep breath and clear my throat.

"Portia you are my best friend I'm so fortunate to have found such a wonder in this planet. You are my everything, my heart beats only for you, and you add so much light to my life. I know I don't have much to offer you but my life and my heart which you already own. I promise to cherish you and never give you for granted. I promise to love you, trust you and support you in everything that life might throw at us. I love you." I feel a tear fall down my cheek.

"Portia?"

"Ellen my beautiful waitress" I chuckle "I'm so lucky to have met you, to be able to call you mine. You have such a gentle and loving soul, I'm blessed to have you. The only thing you can offer me is a life full of happiness and joyful moments even if we live on the street I'll be happy because I have you. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, to have a family and grow old together. I promise to never break your heart, to love you an eternity and beyond. I promise to always be by your side when you need me and to always respect you. I love you baby." By now we both have tears of happiness.

"I now pronounce you wife and wife. Portia you may kiss your wife."

She puts her right hand on my cheek, gets closer and whispers "you are my life Ellen, I truly love you so much babe" before giving me a searing kiss and I feel all the love she has for me.

Chapter 6

After the reception we head home, which is Portia’s house. We both decided to wait for our honeymoon as she was busy with her job and couldn’t find when to take time off. She gets out of the car and comes to open my door, I take her hand and thank her with a kiss.

As soon as we get inside she takes my hand and pulls me with her to the bedroom. I start to get nervous, this time we will actually go all the way. There are candles everywhere and rose petals scattered around the floor and bed. Portia goes to light the candles while I just stand there and stare at her. She turns to look at me and smiles as if saying to relax that everything will be okay.

She starts walking towards me provocatively, I just stare at her as she gets closer to me. We hold hands while she looks straight into my eyes, I let her see right through my soul. She kisses me with so much passion, I feel her tongue licking my bottom lip and I blissfully accept and our tongues sync in perfect harmony. Portia proceeds to take my clothes off as I do the same to her, soon we are both naked and I feel being pushed back until the back of my legs touch the bed. I lay down with her over me never breaking our kiss. She starts to nibble my neck and she goes down to my breasts kissing and sucking my right nipple then the left one paying equal attention to both of them, a moan escapes from my mouth at the feeling my wife is giving me. I run my hand smoothly over her back and shoulders not really knowing what to do.

“Relax baby, I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

Portia starts going lower and lower kissing everywhere making me squirm under her. Then she stops at the place I need her the most and slowly kiss my clit, she goes down placing her tongue inside me, I look down and meet her eyes which are full of lust and desire making me bite my lip. The sight I have before me is so erotic, she gives me a mischievous smile and comes back up for a kiss that I can taste myself in. Her hand is placed over my groin as she caresses gently and we both moan into the kiss.

“Look at me baby” I do as I’m told and feel how she pushes gently two fingers. She stays still as my body gets use to her fingers before she starts to push in and out slowly at first. We stare into each other’s eyes as she pushes in and out faster, my hands wander to her body reaching down and sliding two fingers in making her drop her head on my shoulder, I take the chance and suck on her neck as she does the same to me.

“Ahh Portia…baby…oh god.”

“I love you baby” and with that we both come undone. We both lay exhausted cuddling each other, this was beyond amazing. Portia was the first and will be the only woman in my life.

“Goodnight baby, I love you too” I mumble to her sleepily.

“Sweet dreams, beautiful” she turns to spoon me. I fall asleep with a smile on my face.

*A month later*

One of my passions is architecture, I told Portia I would look into schools that have this career close to where we live so I could, hopefully one day, make a living of it. She told me that she will be by my side and support me in whatever I decided to do.

I signed up for school in the center of L.A., and I’ve made a couple of friends. Unfortunately there is this girl named Alex that flirts with me every time she gets the chance. I have tried to ignore her because I don’t want Portia to think I’m cheating on her and cause her any pain.

“Ellen sorry for being too forward with you but can we at least be friends please? I promise I’ll see you only as friend” Alex pleads me.

“I don’t know Alex, I am not single anymore” I say showing her my wedding ring.

“Yeah I know… but your friendship is better than nothing” she says hopeless.

“I don’t…” I sigh, 'what's the worst that can happen if we're just friends' I think to myself.

It’s been about two weeks and Alex kept her promise, she hasn’t tried to flirt with me and if she does she says sorry like a million times. We’ve become good friends, not the best but still, and we mostly hang out at school anyway.

“Hey Ellen, would you like to go for lunch with me?” she asks me unexpectedly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Alex…” she interrupts me.

“Come on it’s not like if it’s a date” she says in a sarcastic tone “just friends catching some lunch, really.”

‘I don’t have a good feeling about this’ I say to myself.

Before I made up my mind she pulls me with her dragging me across the parking lot to her car.

During the ride to the restaurant Alex’s demeanor changed, she started to be more affectionate and flirty with me. I tried to ignore it and just enjoy our lunch since she decided for me. We take a seat at our table and the waiter takes our order, we sit in an awkward silence until our food arrives and we make small talk.

She brushes her leg against mine every now and then and I freeze not knowing what to do. She takes my hand that was on the table and holds it for a few seconds, brings it to her lips and kisses it. I want to pull my hand from her grasp but I can’t seem to move at all. Then the most dreadful thing happens, when with her right hand she reaches up to cup my cheek.

'Why the hell can’t I move?’ I start to panic, I widened my eyes as she gets closer to me. She will think I want this too if I don’t move away.

‘Ellen get up and leave now!’ I say to myself over and over again but seems like I’m glued to the chair.

“What the fuck is happening here?!” I hear a very furious Portia shout behind me.

Chapter 7

"Portia! Baby it's not what you think!" I desperately blurt out.

"How could you do this to me?!" She starts to sob.

"Darling I wasn't..." I get cut off.

"There's nothing to explain Ellen! I saw it with my own eyes!" She says waving her hand in front of her.

She runs back to her car, I give a fuming glare at Alex for causing this commotion in my life. She has a hurt look but I don't care she caused this pain to my wife.

"Ellen...I'm so..." she starts but I interrupt.

"Shut it! Don't even try!" I shout angrily.

I run after her and find her sitting in her car crying her eyes out. It breaks my heart seeing her like this, I hate myself for not reacting when I had to. I should've stayed away from Alex when I knew she wanted to be more than friends but I trusted her. Too many things I should've done that I didn't because I'm an idiot.

I feel I’ve been stabbed in my heart when Portia turns to look at me her eyes red and puffy, angry at myself for what I caused.

I get in the car without a word and she drives home, we don't talk or look at each other. Frankly I'm scared of what she might say, afraid that when I look into her eyes I'll see hate and not the love I would always find when I would look into those eyes I fell in love with.

We enter the house in silence, I need to talk to her to tell her I didn't do anything that nothing happened. I don't know how to explain either, I just have to tell her the truth but that's easier said than done especially when I'm really nervous.

I take a deep breath and say "baby I need to talk to you, to explain everything."

"What is there to explain? Huh?" She is too calm and I start to get worried, I don't know if it's a good thing or a really bad thing.

"Everything baby, there's everything to explain. There's a reason, well it's not really a reason but there is an explanation but I need you to believe me. Don’t you trust me?"

"Now I don't know Ellen...I don't know what I feel right now...."

"Don't say that please...please let me explain...please" my voice breaks, trying to keep my tears at bay.

"I..." she sighs and continues "I need time to think...to be alone. For now I will sleep in the guest room and we see what happens with us..."

"Portia no don't do that, give me one chance to explain, to show you that I've always been faithful to you. You are everything to me, I can't live without you anymore...I love you...please..." I plead her.

"You broke my heart Ellen I can't handle any more pain...not for today at least. Give me a couple of days then maybe we can talk." And with that she walks away.

I walk into the bedroom and find her picking up some clothes and some personal things before she walks out without even looking at me. I fall to my knees and start to sob, eventually I lay on the cold floor curled up crying my pain out.

It has been two days that she has been avoiding me, I'm tired of her not letting me explain anything so if she doesn't believe me I'll have to tell Alex to say what really happened. Today Portia has a day off but I have two classes in the morning that I can't skip, I already told Alex, I just hope I don't have to go to that option.

"Will you please let me explain now? I miss you so much baby, I don't sleep well because the bed feels empty without you."

"Are you going to tell me the truth?"

"Yes I promise"

"Okay I'm listening"

"Okay...I'll start from the beginning. She is a student at my school and is in most of my classes. A few days later she started to flirt with me, I tried to ignore her but she wouldn't stop. Then one day she said sorry and asked if we could only be friends that she wouldn't try hit on me anymore..."

"And you really think I'll believe you?" she scoffs and rolls her eyes at me.

"Let me finish please?"

"Alright whatever" she says annoyed.

"I trusted her and before you say how stupid I am I know I shouldn't have done that but anyway. She kept her promise for about two weeks until she literally dragged me to that restaurant. I didn't like what she was doing but I couldn't move I promise you nothing else happened only what you saw..." I say letting out the air I didn't realize I was holding.

"That sounds like something a child would say Ellen, ridiculous!" she says exasperated.

What she said hurt but she's right my explanation sounds absurd.

"Then you don't believe me?"

"I don't know Ellen" she starts to pace around the living room.

"I swear I've always been and always will be faithful to you Portia, I don't want no other woman in my life. You were the first and the last one baby please believe me." I start to sob again.

"Yes I was your first but am I your last?"

"You are my love, I miss being in your arms, I miss your kisses and your touch that sets my body on fire."

"Nothing really happen then, did it?" I'm hopeful she will believe me.

"Have I ever lied to you baby?"

"No never...but I need you to promise me you'll stay away from her" she says looking down.

"I'll stay away from her I promise, I'll even change schools if I have to" I say looking straight into her eyes.

"Please stay away from her...I can't stand the thought of losing you..."

"I like that you get jealous but if something had happened between us I would be honest with you then I'd kill myself for betraying the person I love the most" I say cupping her cheek in my hand.

"I prefer to know that you betrayed me than to know you're gone. I'm nothing without you, I'll have no will to go forward if I don't have you."

"You have me baby, I’ll always be yours, forever."

Stepping closer to me she murmurs "Forever?"

"Forever" that's the only encouragement she needs to wrap her soft lips around my own. The heat rises quickly as we kiss, long forgotten our argument.

"Ellen, I want you...right now..." she says in between kisses.

"Then take me..." I utter huskily 'god you're too sexy for me to handle Portia'

Chapter 8

It has been about three weeks and I've kept my word to Portia and stayed away from Alex. She on the other hand doesn't miss the chance to talk to me and I'm seriously considering the idea of changing schools.

"Ellen can we talk?" she asks nervously.

I keep walking trying to ignore her, I don't want to be rude but she's making me lose my patience. She runs to catch up with me and gives me an envelope then walks away with her head down, I instantly feel bad.

I open the envelope and find a letter:

My dear Ellen, I have loved you since I first saw you. I have never stopped thinking about you, you are the most amazing, beautiful, caring and loving woman I've ever met. I fell head over heels for you without noticing, you are easy to love and I figured being your friend would be better than nothing but unfortunately I underestimated my feelings and messed up our friendship. I know you are taken and I just wanted you to know how I truly feel about you. I don't want to cause more trouble in your marriage so I'll go away and you won't know about me ever again, I have to get over you even if it kills me. I'm sorry for everything I've caused but it was for love. I love you baby.

I stare at the piece of paper baffled, I don't know what to think. I'm in awe at what I just read, I can't say I understand her but I feel bad for her, I hope she finds the woman she deserves.

I get home from school startled by Alex's confession and I can't let Portia see it otherwise we will have a pointless argument and that is the last thing I want right now.

"What's wrong baby?" She noticed something is up but I don't want to talk about it.

"It's school, it's stressing me out" I lie.

I hope she bought it and leaves it aside, she hugs me and kisses me. I try to forget what had happened at school. We spent the rest of the day watching movies and eating pizza for dinner, while I tried hard to hide what was bothering me. Tomorrow is Saturday and I planned a little something for my amazing wife.

"Baby are you done?!" I yell from the living room.

"I'm coming!" I see her coming down the stairs and my heart skips a beat, she's gorgeous.

"Wow" I say under my breath.

"What was that?" she asks tilting her head to the side.

"You are too sexy honey."

"And you are too hot baby" I blush and I can hear her giggling at me.

"You are so cute when you blush darling" she teases me.

"Oh stop! It's not funny..." I say with the most serious face I could muster. She just laughs at me and I like that I can make her laugh even if it's on my behalf.

"Come on I have a little surprise for you" I pull her hand and give her a kiss.

We get in the car and head towards the beach, I have everything we will need for our little romantic date. She gives me a confused look but I just give her a wink and a sly smile.

I park the car near a place I know not many people come especially at this time. I take the basket with me, she asks why I took this but I just kiss her and keep walking, I don't want to give anything away.

We walk along the shoreline holding hands and just admiring the beauty of the sun setting.

I find the perfect spot that seems a little more private and start to set everything up. I take the blanket and place it down neatly with our food and two glasses of wine.

"Is there a special occasion for this baby?"

"No but I wanted to do this for you, I know it's not the best but I hope you like it."

"I love it! Thank you so much!" she throws her arms around me nearly making me fall backwards and starts to kiss me passionately.

We feed and tease each other until I can't keep myself from touching her everywhere. I attack her neck and lips with kisses while she laughs trying to get away. I stop and look straight into her eyes, I pin her hands above her head and lean in to lick, nibble and caress her lips without kissing her just yet.

"Mmmm Ellen stop teasing me" I feel her breath on my lips that sends a shiver down my back. I kiss her and she licks my bottom lip asking for entrance and I gladly accept. We make out for what seems like hours before I pull back with a mischievous smile, I get up and start taking all my clothes off. I walk towards the water giving her a wink and motion for her to join me.

"Baby come here" I say with an alluring voice.

She wraps her legs around my waist and I kiss her neck trying to give her a hickey. My hands roam around her body, I caress her butt and squeezed it gently making her moan. She massages my breasts and pinches and tugs my nipples making me throw my head back in pleasure, she takes advantage and kisses my neck. I put her down, go behind her and swim between her legs brushing my tongue against her clit. I resurface and she forces her tongue into my mouth while pushing three fingers into me making me whimper at the sudden pressure. She pulls me close to her with her free hand on my lower back, I straddle her waist and lower my hand pushing three fingers in her as well. I bite her shoulder while she sucks on my neck giving me a hickey too, we are both close.

"Ellen...baby...I'm close" she pants.

"Come with me darling" we push into each other faster soon reaching our high. I stay in her arms not trusting my legs to keep me up as I relax.

"I love you so much you are my everything, I don't know what I'd do if I lose you Portia."

"I'm only yours baby, only yours. I love you so much you are my life."

We dry and don't bother to wear anything, I take out an extra blanket and cover ourselves with it. Snuggled up with Portia we talk and share a comfortable silence while we look at the stars that had started to come into view. After about an hour we pick everything up and head home after this amazing day, lay in bed and sleep holding each other.

Chapter 9

As I start to wake up I reach to Portia's side of the bed to find it empty. I get up, get dressed and go downstairs to find my wife making breakfast. I lean on the door frame and watch her, she hasn't noticed me and I like to admire her while she cooks. I walk towards her and snake my hands around her waist making her jump.

"Baby! You almost gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry darling" I say whilst kissing the back of her neck.

"Stop Ed...let me finish so you can eat."

"Mmmm I'd like to eat you instead baby" I whisper in her ear.

"Honey you'll make me burn your breakfast" she pants.

I pull back with a sly grin and give her a wink. I go set the table and make coffee while she finishes our breakfast.

"Baby in two weeks I have to go back to New Orleans for the weekend, are you sure you don't want to come with me?" I ask hopeful.

"I'd love to go but I may get a call from an important client that I can't miss, I'm sorry Ellen" she gives me an apologetic smile.

"It's ok, it's just that I'll miss you so much" I say looking down at our entwined hands.

"I'll miss you too but it's only for the weekend, plus we can text or call baby" she says giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah you are right, sorry for making a big deal out of it" I kiss her multiple times until she starts to giggle. We spend the rest of the day doing nothing but laying on the couch cuddling watching TV.

It's Friday night and it's time for me to go to the airport. Portia will take me so I grab the suitcase, her hand and walk towards the car. We arrive and she accompanies me until she can't go any further.

"Well have a nice flight and a good time with your family darling."

"I'll miss you baby" I try to keep my tears at bay. I kiss her as if there will be no tomorrow not caring who sees us. I pull back and start to walk towards the gate and reluctantly let go of her hand. I look back at her with tears in my eyes.

E: I just wanted to let you know that I arrived and to say goodnight. I love you. X

P: Thanks for letting me know baby. Goodnight, I love you too. X

I go to bed exhausted and fall asleep as soon as my head touches the pillow.

E: Good morning! Did you sleep good? X

P: Good morning baby. No it was horrible not having you here to sleep with me. How about you? X

E: I wish I was there to give you a morning kiss beautiful. The same, missed hugging you while sleeping. X

P: Wish I was there to kiss you everywhere baby ;). What will you do today?

E: I want you to kiss me everywhere too ;). It's my aunt's birthday so that's what I will do today. What about you? X

P: Some friends in the office kept insisting me to go to a co-worker's birthday after work so I will go just to get them out of my hair. X

E: Well have fun but not too much fun without me honey ;). X

P: Don't worry I have planned a very fun welcome back home for my hot wife ;). X

E: Oh I'm looking forward to it darling ;). X

P: When will you be back by the way? X

E: On Sunday night baby. X

I tell her a white lie because I wanted to surprise her by being home earlier than what she thought.

P: I'll be waiting for you at the airport and take you home for the best night of your life ;). XX

E: And I won't say no to anything you have planned baby ;). I have to go but I'll call you to wish you goodnight okay? XX

P: That's alright I have to go run some errands before I have to get ready for the party anyway. I'll be waiting for your call. XX

I tried to call Portia many times but she wasn't answering. I thought since she was at the party she wouldn't hear her phone ringing. It's almost midnight and I have to wake up early otherwise I'll miss my flight.

I tried to call you but you wouldn't answer me, don't worry about it though it's ok. I'm going to bed and wanted to wish you a goodnight baby. I love you so much. XX

I go to sleep thinking soon I'll have her in my arms again.

I faintly make out a horrible sound hurting my ears when I realize it's my alarm. I groan as I see that it's only five in the morning. I check to see if Portia answered my message and when I see she hasn't I start to get worried. I shrug it off as I remember that she was at a party and probably drunk a bit.

Upon my arrival I make my way through the crowded airport to collect my luggage and go home.

In hope of surprising my lovely wife I sneak into the house as quietly as I could, make my way to our bedroom, I open the door and it's like if someone shot me straight to my heart as I feel it break into a million pieces at the sight I have before me.

Chapter 10

My Portia, my baby, has another woman in bed with her. I feel my heart beating like a bomb ticking down to explode and feel how my world is crashing down on me. I can't believe what I'm seeing, my vision starts to get blurry as my eyes are full of tears, I can't seem to move, I'm frozen in my spot.

"Baby?..." I stutter as my voice breaks.

I see as she stirs in the bed starting to wake up, she turns facing towards me and her eyes open slowly and when she realizes I'm here she shoots up on the bed with eyes wide open.

I stare at her with a stern face trying not break down in front of her.

"Ellen...baby it's not what you think..." she tries to defend herself.

"Are you fucking with me?! It's exactly what I'm thinking!" I surprise myself with how loud I yelled making the other woman wake up. "Who is she?" I ask calming myself a bit.

"Marissa, she's just a friend I promise baby..." she tries to explain.

"I should probably get going..." her “friend” says in a shaky voice.

"The one who is leaving is me" I sound indifferent even if I’m dying inside and start walking to the door.

“Ellen, baby, nothing happened…please let me explain...” I stop, turn around to see her straight in the eyes.

“Really?! You expect me to believe that?!” I shout. When she doesn’t answer it just makes me angrier, I had enough of this I need to get out before I do something absurd.

Portia gets up to stop me and I see that she's only in her underwear and bra which only confirms what I was thinking. She blocks my way to the door holding me by my shoulders. It's the first time I don't want her to touch me, first time that her touch hurts so much. In my anger not meaning to hurt her I grab her by the wrists very tight and push her out of my way making her collide against the dresser and I run towards my car and drive away before she tries to stop me again.

I step on the gas pedal driving to nowhere in particular, I just want to get away from her as far as I can. I feel betrayed, like a fool to be played by the person I thought I meant a lot to.

Speeding through the highway I start to question myself since when this has been happening, what did I do to drive her into another woman's arms. How many times did we made love after her being with that woman, how many times did I kiss her after she kissed her. The scene of our last kiss plays in my head, trying to erase it I turn on the radio and a song that resembles what's happening in my life is playing.

I still remember the look on your face

Lit through the darkness at 1:58

The words that you whispered

For you us to know

You told me you loved me

So why did you go away?

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement

I ran off the plane

That July 9th

The beat in your heart

It jumps through your shirt

I can still feel you in my arms

But now I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don't know how to be something you miss

I never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember the swing in your step

The life of the party, you're showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I'm not much for dancing

But for you I did.

Tears keep rolling down my cheeks making it difficult to see the road so I park, I wrap my arms around myself and sob uncontrollably as the song continues.

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe

And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are

Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines

And it's a beautiful day

And something reminds you

You wish you had stayed

You can plan for a change in weather and time

But I never planned on you changing your mind

I start the car again letting my feelings drive not caring where I go or what happens to me when I feel dead inside. Even after what I just saw I can't hate her, Portia is the love of my life, without her I'm nothing. I will always love her with all my heart until the day I die. The next song hurts just ask much and I’m reminded of the love I still have for her, how will I ever stop loving her?

I see your face in my mind as I drive away

Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way

People are people, and sometimes we change our minds

But it’s killing me to see you go after all this time

Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie

It’s the kinda ending you don’t really wanna see

Cause it’s tragedy and it’ll only bring you down

Now I don’t know what to be without you around

I have nothing to live for anymore. I have to let her go if she doesn't love me like I love her. If she wants a divorce I'll grant it to her and disappear from her life to love her from far away, silently.

And we know it’s never simple, never easy

Never a clean break, no one here to save me

You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can’t breathe without you

But I have to

Breathe without you

But I have to

I hear my phone ringing, I try to pull it out of my pocket and in the attempt it slips from my hand and lands under my seat. I try to reach it and not take my eyes off the road at the same time but fail as I diverge from the lane I was on. I try to regain control of my car before I hit the oncoming vehicle, as I struggle with the steering wheel I turn it to the right and feel the car starting to roll, I hold onto the steering wheel as hard as I can. Then there was a really loud bang and a sickening crunch of metal as my car slams into a tree making my head hit on the window from the impact, last thing that goes through my mind is Portia before everything goes black.

Chapter 11

*Portia POV*

I tried calling Ellen and sent multiple texts to come back after she stormed out but she wasn't answering and I was really worried about her. She didn't let me explain anything and I felt hopeless.

Hours have passed and I still haven't heard from her. The worst case scenarios are going through my mind but I try to think that she needs time to calm down and that she'll come back home so I can explain. I hear the house phone ringing and I run to it thinking it could be news about Ellen.

"May I speak with Mrs. de Rossi" a man asks.

"This is she" I say feeling uneasy right away.

"Hi my name is Matthew Hicks and I'm the doctor who's attending to Ellen DeGeneres. You do know her right? We found missed calls from you and assumed you knew her" he informs me.

"She's my wife...wh-what happened to her?" I ask terrified of what he might say.

"Could you come to the hospital? I would prefer to tell you in person" I can sense a bit of concern in his voice which only adds to my presentiment.

"I'll be there as soon as possible" I hung up and rush to the car. I accelerate breaking every speed limit to get to the hospital. My head once again has the worst case scenario that could have happen for her to end up in there. I run to the entrance and ask for my wife's room number, I'm told to go to the trauma center, my heart stops. I step out of the elevator, proceed to the front desk and ask for Ellen again.

“Can you tell me where Ellen DeGeneres’ room is?”

“Oh you must be her wife, we’ve been waiting for you, Dr. Hicks would like to talk with you before you see her. Please follow me.”

I walk behind her until we stop in front of what seems to be Dr. Hicks’ office. She knocks on the door and signals for me to go in. I walk in dreading what I am about to hear.

“Please take a seat” he motions to the chair in front of his desk.

“Is Ellen alright?” I ask apprehensive.

“She was in a car accident, seems like she lost control of the car, question why is we don’t know. Her car turned a couple of times before it hit on a tree. She has two broken ribs, dislocated shoulder and a couple of bruises but what worries me the most is her head injury. Her head hit with much force from the impact onto the window” he looks straight in my eyes while he speaks.

“Will her head injury cause any long term complications?”

“We had to perform a CT scan to be sure there was no serious brain injury. We found some bruising and swelling around the temporal lobe, meaning that her memory, language or emotion comprehension could be affected. We cannot be sure until she wakes up” he gives me a sympathetic smile.

“When will she wake up? Can I see her now?” All I want is to see her, to be there when she wakes up.

“We hope she will wake up in the next 48 hours. She will be in intensive care so we can monitor any small change and we will let you know when she wakes up and is transferred to a normal room.”

Dr. Hicks gets up and walks towards the door beckoning for me to follow him.

“You can go in but you can’t stay for long alright?” I nod as he walks away.

I put my hand on the doorknob, take a deep breath, walk in and close the door behind me. I hesitate to walk further afraid of how I might see the love of my life laying there unaware of what's happening in her surroundings.

I reluctantly start walking forward, as soon as I lay my eyes on the end of the bed I feel lightheaded. I cover my mouth to try to control my sobs as Ellen comes into view. She looks as if she's asleep but deep down I know she isn't. The left side of her head is wrapped in gauze and she has all kinds of tubes attached to her from different machines. I can hear the respirator that is helping her breathe and the heart monitor telling me that she's still here with me.

I get closer to the bed and grab her hand lightly trying not to cause more pain than what she had to endure already. I kneel down and kiss it multiple times while I cry my eyes out. Deep down I feel responsible for this, if I hadn't offered Marissa to spend the night nothing of this would have happened. I know she thought the worst things but nothing happened. Now I will have to live with this guilt if this accident leaves any emotional distress in my wife.

I realize I've been here for a couple of hours and decide to leave so she can rest. I lean down and kiss her forehead careful not to touch her wound and walk out to the waiting area until she wakes up.

As I sit here waiting I recount the events of what led to this.

I was making my way to the birthday party when I received a call from my best childhood friend, Marissa. She tells me that she was in town and wanted to catch up as we hadn't seen each other for a few years after I moved to L.A. I was excited to tell her all about my lovely wife. We meet for dinner and talk about everything that's going on in our lives.

"You got married?! Congratulations!" she shrieks.

"Yeah and she is amazing, the best wife I could ever ask for, I have to introduce you to Ellen when she gets back from her trip."

"I can't wait to meet her, she makes you really happy doesn't she?"

"I've never been this happy in my life. I think she's the one, I think I finally found my other half" I say getting emotional, trying to keep my tears at bay.

"You seem to be and I'm thrilled that you have found the happiness you deserve" she sighs and I notice a bit of sadness in her voice.

"Hey is everything alright? Talk to me" I say while I hold her hand for reassurance.

"Yeah it's just that..." she takes a deep breath and says "I think Jay is cheating on me..." she says before breaking down.

"Oh I'm so sorry to hear that, is there any way that I can help?"

"No not really but finally having a friend to talk to is definitely helping so thank you very much" she says and my heart warms knowing I helped a little bit.

"Do you need a ride to where you're staying or anything at all?"

"I... I actually just got here, I took the first flight here and didn't bring anything with me. I just needed to talk with a friend that would listen to me..." she says shyly.

"Don't worry about it. You can spend the night at my house while we figure something out, you are not alone in this okay?" I assure her.

"No Portia I don't want to be a burden for you, I'll just find a hotel..."

"I said you'll stay with me and that's the end of it" I say sternly.

"Okay thank you so much, you are a great friend" she gets up to hug me tightly.

"Come on let's go it's getting late and I'm exhausted."

Just then I remembered that Ellen was going to call and I cursed my phone for dying on me. I didn't think much of it since I would let her know via text what happened so we went home and I plugged it, and got ready for bed but fell asleep right when my head touched the pillow.

Next thing I know Ellen came home earlier than what she had told me. She didn't know about Marissa so having her sleeping next to me didn't exactly help neither did the fact that I was sleeping in my underwear. She instantly thought I was cheating on her, I couldn't blame her for thinking that but she didn't give me an opportunity to explain.

She turns to walk out and I try stopping her by blocking the door. I know she didn't meant to hurt me but as angry as she was she grabbed my wrists tightly and pushed me aside. I run after her but she was gone.

"Marissa I'm so sorry about all of this, that was Ellen and she thinks I'm cheating on her with you as you can see" I sigh.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have stayed here. I should get going..." she says getting up to get dressed.

"No you don't have to go everything will be ok. I hope."

"I've caused you enough trouble, I'll just go back home. Thank you for your company and for being there for me. You're the best and I hope everything gets fixed."

"Okay if you insist. Call me if you need anything I'll always be here for you" I hug her and she walks out to the taxi she had called for. I walk to the living room and slump in the sofa thinking over what just happened. I knew she needed time to calm down so I waited an hour before trying to contact her. Nothing. I kept insisting but she wouldn't answer her phone. Eight hours passed, I started to worry. What if she left me and is never coming back? What if she crashed? What if... I shake my head trying to get rid of those thoughts when the phone rings.

"Mrs. de Rossi please wake up" I hear a man say. I realize I had fallen asleep on the most uncomfortable chair and position.

"Your wife just woke up" I sit up right away and regret it when I feel dizzy from the sudden action.

"Please follow me."

We arrive at my wife's room and he walks away leaving me alone outside the room. This time I don't hesitate and walk in. I see her turned to the other side and I walk quietly to her bed. When she hasn't noticed me yet I take her hand and give it a light squeeze.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" she says abruptly snatching her hand away from my touch. My heart sinks and I feel it breaking into a million pieces.

Chapter 12

*Ellen POV*

I wake up with a throbbing and burning feeling on the left side of my head. I wince as I touch it just when a nurse comes into my room.

“How are you feeling?”

“Not really good. My head hurts a lot.”

“Don’t worry you’ll feel better when the medication kicks in.”

After five minutes I don’t feel pain anymore but my eyes start getting heavy closing against my will.

This time around I wake up with no pain just really exhausted. I roll to my side and realize that I don't remember my name. I lay there trying to remember anything, but to no avail.

After what seems like hours I feel a light squeeze on my hand. "Who are you? What are you doing here?" I almost yell while jerking my hand away from their touch. She takes a while before she answers me.

"What do you mean who I am? Ellen I'm your..."

"My name is Ellen?"

"Yes baby"

"Baby?" I ask confused by her choice of the word.

"Yes that's how I call you, baby."

She reaches for my cheek but I pull away from her touch. Something, deep down, that I don't understand tells me that I'm not safe around her.

"What's wrong? Why you don't let me touch you?" she asks with tears in her eyes.

"I don't know you... I want to be alone."

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" she asks while looking at the floor.

"Yes" I say indifferently. My heart hurt when I looked into her eyes full of sadness. I wanted to hug her but at the same time want to be away from her. I feel relieved when she closed the door behind her.

So far all I know is that my name is Ellen and there's this beautiful mysterious lady calling me baby, which I must admit I like it. All this confusion has giving me a really bad headache. I turn the tv on to take my mind off of things. After about an hour a doctor comes in to check on me.

"Hello Ellen, how are you?"

"Are you my doctor?"

"That's right, I'm Dr. Hicks and I came to check on you so how are you feeling?"

"Horrible. I have a headache and my wound started to burn a little" I say whilst brushing my hand over my head.

"Let me check your wound for any kind of infection and after a nurse will come to apply pain medication so you sleep through the night, alright?" I nod and he proceeds to take the gauze off then putting a new one on.

I notice the lady that was here earlier standing by the door but I don't really want to talk with anyone right now. I want to sleep and hope for my memory to be back when I wake up.

"Well everything seems to be fine. I'm sure your lovely wife will take great care of you. I have to go check on other patients but I'll keep an eye on you okay?" he walks out leaving us alone.

'Wife? She's my wife?' I think to myself thoroughly confused. I don't say anything and neither does she.

"Do you want to talk with me?"

"I want to sleep actually..." I don't want to hurt her I just want to be alone. She walks out and I try to relax before the medication finally takes effect sending me into a deep sleep.

I wake up to a light knock on the door and murmur "come in." The door opens and reveals an older woman. She seems to have been crying as her eyes are red and puffy.

"Ellen, darling, are you okay?"

"I'm fine but who are you?" I'm frustrated at the fact that I'll have to keep asking everyone that knows me the same thing.

"Your mother sweetheart" she tells me with tears in her eyes.

"Mama?" I quaver.

"Oh honey don't cry, I'm here now" she hugs me and cradles me like a child, I instantly relax and feel safe in her arms.

"Why can't I remember anything mama?" I ask her to finally know what exactly happened to me.

"You had a car accident baby and hit your head on impact which caused a little swelling but everything will be okay don't worry."

"I want to get out of here. I want to go home, I don't like it here" I say feeling uneasy all of the sudden.

"As soon as the doctor gives permission you'll go home with Portia..." she motions towards this lady and I finally know her name. Beautiful name just like her.

"No. I don't want to go with her" I interrupt her, shaking off my recent thoughts.

"She's your wife honey, she will take great care of you, I'm sure."

"Something tells me to stay away from her Mama. I don't know why... I want to go home with you." I try to say as low as possible for her not to hear, I don’t want to hurt her.

"Ellen she is your wife, you will go home with her and..."

"No if she doesn't want to it's okay don't pressure her. I will visit her everyday if she lets me" Portia interrupts her.

"Portia I'm sorry..." Mama apologizes on my behalf.

"Don't worry, what's more important is that Ellen is comfort when she leaves the hospital. It just hurts the way she talks and looks at me, like if she hates me." I look down hating myself for hurting her. I really don't know what to do, I feel a connection with her but simultaneously don't want to be with her. It's overwhelming.

"She doesn't hate you I'm sure of that. We just have to give her time" she rubs my back affectionately. We are interrupted by a knock on the door. Dr. Hicks and a nurse walk in both holding clipboards.

"Just as I predicted. Ellen's memory loss is temporary but we do not know for how long. Could be days, weeks or months. For the moment you have to make sure she is comfortable, and don't try to force her to remember. It will be a slow recovery but I'm certain soon everything will be back as it use to be. Also, she can go home tomorrow or the next day."

Two days later I'm finally allowed to go home, my shoulder and ribs don’t hurt much luckily. I sit on the edge of the bed waiting for mama to come get me.

"Baby come on, I'll walk you to the car" Portia offers but I decline.

"No I'd prefer to wait for mama to come get me...but thanks" I take my hand away from her grasp, she leans I think to kiss me but I pull away. She sighs before walking out with her head down, defeated.

Chapter 13

*Portia POV*

It hurt so much when Ellen rejected me but I have to be strong and understand what she is going through. Who would’ve thought that a simple confusion could cause all this damage. I often found myself on the verge of crying when she would pull away from me. I felt my heart break aching to feel her in my arms, to just hold her. I long to kiss her, touch her and to tell her how much I still love her. I can’t lose her, she is my life. I’m desperate to visit Ellen but I don’t know if that is a good idea and it’s been two weeks since she got out of the hospital, I just don’t want to upset her.

I look at my wedding ring and wonder what will happen to our marriage. I certainly won’t give up on her, I will be by her side and support her always. My mind wonders to the day we met, if it weren’t for her clumsiness I wouldn’t know what true love is.

The vibration of my phone brings me back to reality and I groan at the interruption. I answer it without checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” I answer annoyed at whoever it might be.

“Hi, it’s me Marissa… am I interrupting you?”

“No of course not” I lie.

“Are you sure? How are you?”

“I’ve been better. Is everything okay with Jay?” I ask trying to change the subject.

“No I asked him for a divorce, I went to see my lawyer yesterday, actually.”

“Oh Sacha I’m so sorry to hear that, he doesn’t deserve you. I assure you.”

“It’s alright, I guess. Anyway, tell me, how is Ellen?” I sigh and let myself fall onto the sofa.

“She… she had a car accident and she doesn’t remember me or anything at all...” I finally let all the pain I’ve kept inside consume me and I break down.

“Oh my god Portia I’m so sorry, I feel responsible for what happened. Is there hope for her to recover her memory or is it permanent?” she asks concerned.

“If there is one to blame then it’s me, don’t blame yourself. Dr. Hicks said it’s temporary but we don’t know for how long. I just miss her so much…” I sob through the phone.

“As the saying says ‘while there’s life, there’s hope’. Don’t give up Portia, don’t let this bring you down. Fight for her, make her fall in love with you again.” I stop crying and listen to what she says carefully.

I clear my throat and ask “what do you mean?”

“That she doesn’t remember you right now doesn’t mean deep down she still doesn’t love you. It just means she forgot for the moment. Show her that she is the love of your life, take her on romantic dates, even court her. I’m sure she will fall for you again, I’m also sure she noticed how beautiful you are. Trust me.” I take in everything she said and I feel something click in, like determination to keep my marriage from crumbling.

“Maybe you are right but what if she refuses to see me? I can’t force her to anything either.”

“Take it slow, you don’t have to rush it. I’m sure she knows you are her wife so she will want to rediscover how it is to be in love.”

“I will think about it and go from there. I don’t want to push her more away than I already did.”

“Good luck but I’m sure everything will be fine. I have to go but keep me informed.”

“Will do and thank you for listening to me. Take care." I say before hanging up. I stay there thinking of what I will do.

After about ten minutes I get my phone and search for the closest flower shop. I order for a bouquet of white roses to be delivered to Ellen today with only a heart drawn on the card without my name. I don't want her to reject them too.

It's been hard not being able to see or talk to her. I decided it would be good for her to get use to all her new memories before I try anything with her. Throughout the week she's been receiving white roses every day anonymously from me.

Today I will go see her and the anticipation is eating me alive. Before arriving at her house I stop and buy flowers, red roses this time. I also write a note telling her how much I love and miss her along the heart she's been receiving with the others.

I raise my hand to knock on the door and notice how shaky my hand is. The door opens to reveal Betty, she greets with a welcoming smile that calms and relaxes me.

"Hi Portia, how are you? Please come in" she hugs me and steps aside while I walk past her.

"I'm fine and you? Is Ellen home?"

"I'm good and yeah she's watching tv."

"How is she? I mean, she still has no memories back?"

"Not exactly and I don't want to pressure her so I rarely ask her about it. You are the one sending roses with the heart on the note, aren't you?"

"Please don't tell me she rejected them. I'm trying to remind her, somehow, of the love I have for her without her knowing it's me."

"Of course she didn't, she loves them. Every day she would wake up moody but as soon as those flowers came she was beaming ear to ear. I'm sure she would love to know they are from you too."

"That's why I'm here. She doesn't remember me so I will try my best to show her how much she means to me." I feel my voice break.

"She will understand, I assure you. True love can withstand anything and you two will get through this" I receive a much-needed hug since all this happened.

"Go to her" she pushes me gently towards the living room and walks away.

I put the roses behind my back and clear my throat.

"Hi Ellen" she turns to see me clearly confused.

"How are you?" I walk towards her.

"I'm good, thank you."

"These are for you..." I take the roses from behind me and her face lights up when she sees them.

"They are beautiful, thank you so much" her blue eyes give life to my soul.

"Just like you" I say while I look at her and she blushes making my knees weak.

"Why red and not white like the other ones?”

"How do you know I was the one who sent them?" I turn the question on her.

"I...um...had a dream of you sending them..." she trails off. To know that she dreams of me makes my heart skip a beat.

"They were to let you know that I miss and love you. The red ones today you will find out when you read that little note" I say pointing to the white envelope that is attached to the bouquet.

She tries to take it to read it but I stop her.

"You can read it when I leave okay?" she nods and I see disappointment in her eyes.

"Ellen you don't know how much I've missed you. These weeks has been so lonely without you."

"I am sorry. I..."

"No. Don't apologize for no reason. It's not your fault." I interject.

She nods and before the confidence I need to ask her out runs out of me I take a deep breath.

"Would you like to go for dinner with me? Tonight?" I ask and close my eyes ready for her to say no.

"Yeah, I would love to."

"Really?" I ask surprised and she giggles.

"Who would say no to someone as beautiful as you?"

I look down and blush.

"In that case I'll pick you up at seven, ok?" I sure hope I can keep my hands to myself tonight, if I did on our first date then I should be able to now.

Chapter 14

*Ellen POV*

I watch as she walks to her car and drives away. I’m very excited for tonight. Should I go shopping for clothes or wear something I already have? I debate on this for about half an hour before going to mama and ask her to take me to buy clothes.

“You have to hurry up Ellen, it’s almost five and you still have to get ready.” My eyes widened when I hear what time it is, I already bought clothes but I need to buy a perfume as well. I pull mama with me trying to rush us to the car.

“Drive as fast as you can” I say while I get in the car.

“Someone is excited for tonight” she teases me.

“Mama, if you keep driving this slow I won’t be ready on time. I don’t want to make Portia wait.”

“Alright, alright. Tighten that seat belt” she says before stepping on the accelerator.

We arrive home and I run to the shower. Very faintly I could hear mama laughing at me.

I'm dressed in black pants and black buttoned up shirt, it's simple but I think I shouldn't overdress since I don't know where we are going. I look at my watch which tells me that it's almost time for her to arrive. I'm very nervous and I start pacing around the house getting mama irritated.

"Ellen, will you please stay in one place?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just extremely nervous" I take a seat and tap my fingers on my knee.

"Why is that darling? You're going out with your wife, no need to be nervous."

"I don't know, sorry" the sudden realization that she's my wife doesn't make it any better in calming me down. What if it's not what she expects? What if my memory loss caused me to change and she stops loving me? What if the way I was treating her I accidentally pushed her away? So many questions are giving me a headache.

"Ellen look at me" I do as I'm told and she continues "Portia loves you with all her heart, I promise. She will always be by your side no matter what. You are not the only one that this misfortune hurt. She hides it from you but the way you’ve treated her for the first few days broke her heart sweetie."

"How can I fix it? I know she didn't deserve the way I treated her but something was telling me to stay away from her. It still does, but deep down I feel attracted to her, I know I do and that's stronger than whatever warning I had about her." I spill out.

"Honey, treat her the way you think she deserves to be treated as your wife that she is. Follow your heart" and with that she kisses my cheek and walks out of the living room.

I sit there contemplating on what will I do. A knock on the door takes me out of my trance. I open the door and my breath gets caught in my lungs. She looks beautiful.

"Hi, you look beautiful Portia"

"Hi, so do you baby" I blush at how she refers to me.

"Are you ready to go?" she asks.

"Yeah, where are we going?" I enquire.

"That's a surprise darling"

We have a quiet ride and I look at her once in awhile and blush when I get caught.

"What's wrong honey?" she asks.

"Nothing. I just relax when I look I you." She doesn't say anything just smiles and looks back at the road. She takes my hand and holds it until we arrive. The restaurant seems familiar. I feel like I've been here before. We are taken to our table, give our order to the waitress and talk about everything. I try to focus on what Portia is saying but I keep having like small flashbacks. I don't know if I should tell her or not.

Will you marry me? that question lingers in mind.

"Baby what's wrong?" she asks me when I've completely zoned out for I don't know how long.

"I...uh...I think I just remembered something that happened here where we are" I don't know how else to explain her.

"Oh my god. You did? What did you remember?" she seems to be excited.

"When you asked me to marry you..." I trail off. She covers her mouth with her hands and starts to cry. Worried I reach for her hand and hold it tight.

"Don't cry. I don't like it when you cry. Please?" I beg.

"They are happy tears baby. I'm so happy right now. You remembered one of the most important and happiest days of my life. This is unbelievable." she shakes her head as if this were a dream.

"It was the happiest day of my life too. Does this mean I will slowly regain all my memories? I don’t want to have my hopes up and then nothing to happen."

"I don't know the doctor said it was temporary but I think it's a great sign. Maybe with a little more time all of them will come back. Patience my love." She kisses my cheek, pays for our dinner and takes me back home.

"Ellen thank you for tonight. It was great, umm did you get a chance to read the note?" she asks kicking a small rock while she walks me to the door.

"I...no...sorry I forgot about it because I was nervous for tonight..." I'll read it once I get inside now that she reminded me.

"Nervous? Why?" She says giving me that smile that takes my breath away.

"Well because I was going out with you. You make me nervous..." I say looking down.

"Aww darling that’s so sweet"

"No you are the sweet one. Thank you for not giving up on me...with all this happening..."

"Never baby, this is just something we will go through together. Although I miss kissing you and as much as I'd like to kiss you right now I think it's better if we wait for that"

"Why wait?" I do hope I get a kiss, could that help my memory? I wonder.

"Because too many things happened tonight and you might be overwhelmed, also I want you to rest for tomorrow's surprise" she winks at me and I blush.

"Another surprise? Why?"

"Yeah because you deserve everything in this world and I'm willing to give you everything I possibly can."

I'm speechless. She smiles, gives me a hug and walks to her car. Before she drives away she blows me a kiss and I melt inside.

I enter my room and look for the note. I sit down, try to calm down, and try to read it while my hands shake.

Sweetheart,

You have been constantly running in my mind throughout the day. You don't know what you have done to me and I can't think of anything that is not you. My day starts with you in my mind and ends the same, you are my world. Every time I think of you my heart aches because you're not here with me. I know this is new to you because of your accident but I love and adore you. I have missed you so much baby, I don't know how to thank God that you're still here with me, that I have a second chance to win your love again. I will always love you, now and forever.

With Love, Portia.

I feel tears falling down my cheeks. 'She really does love me' I think to myself.

I change to my sleeping clothes and try to sleep. It takes me a while to finally achieve it and when I do I had one of the weirdest dreams. I think I need to tell Portia about it, not sure if it was one of those flashbacks or just a dream.

Chapter 15

*Portia POV*

Last night was amazing, more than what I could have hoped for. Although I am not sure I should push her into accepting me. I know she needs time but it’s just hard being away from her and not being able to kiss her either. I have a second chance and I have to take advantage of it, I can’t lose her. All this thinking didn’t let me sleep but that won’t stop me from what I have prepared for her today.

After I drunk a much needed cup of coffee I took a shower and got ready for the day. I have a day off and I want to spend it with Ellen, not sure if where I plan to take her will trigger any memory flashback, I am hopeful that could only mean great news.

It’s almost ten in the morning and I decide to check if she’s awake so I call her house and pray the one to answer is Betty. Even if she’s awake I don’t want her to know I called, don’t know why but I just don’t.

Sitting on my bed I sigh in relieve when I hear Betty’s voice through the phone. “Good morning Betty, how are you?”

“I’m good, thank you. Although I like talking with you I’m sure you called to know about Ellen, right?”

I feel guilty. I do like Betty, she’s an amazing mom and a great person but it’s true. “Yeah...Sorry...I just...I wanted to know if Ellen is awake and well you know…”

She chuckles before saying “don’t worry about it Portia and yes she is awake, just woke up. You want me to go get her or…”

I interrupt her “no, no, leave her, I want to surprise her by coming over with a gift I think she will like.”

“Alright I won’t tell her anything then. Thank you for still loving her, as her mom it means a lot to me that you haven’t given up. Deep down I know she loves you, you just have to help her remember.”

“I will never give up, she means everything to me. I don’t know what would happen to me if she wasn’t letting me into her life again. I love her, you know I do…” out of nowhere I feel lonely, god I miss her.

“I do, I do. Now come and help her get back home. She’s home when she’s with you Portia.” Her words hit me somewhere deep down and I start to sob.

“T-thank you...so...m-much. I...p-promise I will...”

“I know, honey. I’ll see you in a bit okay?”

“Yeah, see you.”

I let the phone fall and lay on the bed in a fetal position and continue to cry uncontrollably. I don’t know what to do, I’ve tried to stay strong for her, she can’t see how broken I am. I have to be stronger, I need to be so I can help her get pass this, so we can be together again, forever.

After beating myself over this for about twenty minutes I get up and go to the bathroom to try to hide my red and puffy eyes with makeup before I leave to the flower shop. Entering the shop I go straight to the back where the roses are located. I contemplate on which ones to take her, there is so many colors and I don’t know their meaning. While I look around I catch a glimpse of a paper that has the meaning of them. I step closer and read through it, I decide to take a mix of white and lavender colored roses. I ask someone to help me with them while I go take a box of Ellen’s favorite chocolates.

I drive towards her house and start to get nervous. I take a deep breath before I get out of my car, I hide the roses and chocolates behind me, take a deep breath again and knock on the door, revealing Ellen in grey sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. How can she still take my breath away is beyond me.

*Ellen POV*

I hear a knock on the door, I get up to go see who it might be. My heart stops when I see Portia in black skinny jeans and a grey tank top that outlines her body, her hands are behind her back but I don't question her and let her come inside. We walk to the living room where mama was watching TV.

"Oh Portia, honey, how are you?" there's a tiny tone to her voice like if she was worried.

"I'm great now that I'm here" she says while she looks at me.

"I'm glad to hear that, now I'll leave you two alone" mama gets up and before walking out she gives a wink to Portia. Great now I'm intrigued, what are these two hiding?

"Well this is a nice surprise. To what do I owe it?" I smile.

"Well let's say I couldn't keep waiting to come see you... I also brought you gifts..." she says pulling what she had behind her "I brought you your favorite chocolates and these roses..." she blushes.

"My favorite chocolates? I don't..." I don't remember having a favorite chocolate to be honest.

"Yes Ellen. Trust me. You love them, try one and you will see baby" she opens the box and feeds me a chocolate that melts when it touches my tongue. A moan escapes from my throat at how amazing it tastes.

"Wow thank you so much, I do love it. Can I ask how you know?" I am curious how she knows, I wouldn't have found out if it wasn't for her.

"I'm your wife, remember? I know you like the palm of my hand, what you like and dislike, what infuriates you and what relaxes you, I know everything about you honey" it warms my heart knowing this, also the fact that she remembers.

"I...I'm sorry I don't about you...if only my memory would come back..." well now I'm angry at myself, great.

"Now you're angry, there's no need for you to be. It's not your fault darling, with time you'll get to know me, I'm sure." I'm baffled by how she knew I was angry, was it that obvious?

"How...how you knew I was angry?..."

"Here give me your hands" she extends her own hand so she holds mine then says "your hands are balled up in fists, that's what you do when you get angry. Relax baby, I'm here" her voice is so soothing and I let my hands open from the fists they were in.

"Are you okay now?" her voice is so caring.

Although I've fallen in love with her and I don't remember now, I'm sure I could say I'm falling for her again, this whole week I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I was wondering when I would see her again. "Tell me the truth, are you still angry?"

"Yes...sorry I can't help it...it's just everything is overwhelming" I tell her looking down.

She pulls my head up with her index finger under my chin, caresses my cheek, leans in and gives me a kiss on my nose. What does she do to me that I feel like I'm flying? I don't feel angry anymore, this woman has complete control over me.

"Better?" she asks giving me a smirk.

"Yeah...how...what..." 'Ellen stop stuttering!' I yell to myself. I take a deep breath and say "how did you do that? What did you do to me?" probably my questions sound stupid but I really need an answer.

My answer is a chuckle followed by a wink. She doesn't say anything at all and instead gives me the roses she's been holding all this time.

I'm confused. "Why white and light purple this time? I loved the red ones..."

"Because this time those have a meaning that resemble what I feel right now for you." I furrow my eyebrows and try to understand what is she talking about. I tilt my head to the right and look at her so she continues. "The white ones mean the innocence, purity and the true love I feel for you that is stronger than anything, even death. The lavender ones mean my intentions, the expression of my love and all the love you make me feel for you." I take in everything she said, I smell the roses, I look up at her and see what the roses meant in her eyes. I feel butterflies in my stomach when she looks at me. I want to kiss her, to thank her for all her love in that one kiss but she said we should wait. I can't keep myself and I kiss her on the cheek instead, I blush at my bold action. I'm so lucky to have her by my side after all.

I break the silence and say "I read your note..." I feel so much love from her at this moment that I'm scared it's just a dream I don't want to wake up from.

"Ellen...baby, you are everything to me. I want to try to win your love again, will you let me try?" she says with tears in her eyes.

"I...Portia...I think...I actually think I'm falling for you...this whole week I haven’t been able to get you out of my head." I need her to know that, if I have a second chance with her then I'll take. I don't think I could handle seen her with anyone else.

The smile she had said it all. She pulled me to her and I let myself fall against her engulfing me in a hug. She raised my head with both of her hands on the each side of my head. It was hard resisting the urge to kiss her, I could see it was hard for her too when she kept looking at my lips then to my eyes.

"Portia I really want to kiss you..."I was panting by now.

"Oh baby I do too...I need to feel your lips against mine, I've missed them so much..."

"Kiss me then...don't make me wait any longer..." that encouraged her to crash her lips against mine. Her lips are so soft, they wrap around mine perfectly, I love them. Her hands were around my waist and mine around her neck, she licked my bottom lip and I opened welcoming her smooth tongue to play with mine. I felt myself being walked backwards to the sofa, I lay down with Portia on top of me between my legs never breaking the kiss. I had another flashback to when Portia and I were making love I think for the first time.

Relax baby, I'll be gentle, I promise lingers in mind.

When I come back from that flashback I try to pull her shirt off but she pulls away and gets up. I don't say anything, I just keep thinking of what I just remembered. She noticed I didn't say anything and tried to get my attention to no avail. I was staring at the ceiling, thinking.

"Ellen? Anyone there?" she waves her hands in front of my face and I come back from my trance. I look at her confused. "Baby what's wrong?

"I...I had another of those flashbacks..." I trail off.

"Oh! That's really good! Maybe you do get your memory back soon!" she says jumping on me. "What was it this time?"

"Ummm...it was...when we...first made love..." I blush and cover my face with my hands.

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about baby. That was an amazing day, the day I made you mine..."

"Even if I don't remember I'll always be yours, only yours, always. Can we umm you know...continue what we were doing?" I say not looking at her.

"As much as I would love to make you mine again, I'd like to wait baby. I don't want to rush things, you understand?" I nod, I don't know what else to say.

"I plan on spending all day today with you, if you want that is. We can go to either lunch or dinner at a restaurant that is very special to me, then we can go for a walk and talk about anything you want. Do you like that idea?"

"I love any idea that you have. Why is that restaurant special to you?" I'm too curious of a person, I admit it.

"If I'm right about my suspicion then you will know when we get there. Don't ask what suspicion I have my curious baby, you just be patient and wait, alright?" Even she knows how I think. It annoys me that I like it.

I try to make her give in with a pout which I fail miserably, I got a kiss though so it’s a win win anyway. We stayed in the sofa for what seemed like hours, I didn't mind, I was halfway laying on Portia watching TV. "I guess we will go for dinner after all, we've been sitting here for a long time, not that I mind" she kisses the top of my head.

"Would you like to come to my room? We can lay and relax until it's time to leave. If you want." I say afraid she will think wrong.

"I'd like to do that..." she gives me a mischievous smile.

"I knew you would take it the wrong way but I didn't mean that...I wouldn't say no to that though..." I tell her biting my lip.

"I was just implying but you got me back at so no. We go to just lay and relax like how you said. Don't even give me that pout again or I won't be able to contain myself from taking you" she rant at me and I gave her a smirk.

"It scares me how well you know me. I can't do or say anything without you anticipating it..." I stare into her eyes and say "I like it though. Makes me feel special" while I fumble with her fingers.

"You are special baby. Always will be to me. Come on lead the way to your room that I miss cuddling you" she takes my hand and pulls me with her. We walk past the kitchen, bathroom and mama's room when we finally get to my door. I let her open it and lead me inside, turns me to look at her and caresses my cheek with her fingers until she kisses me.

I get carried away and start walking towards my bed, I straddle her pushing her down until I'm on top of her. I sneak my tongue into her mouth, she realized where this was going and pulled away again, sitting up with me on her lap. "No baby. Soon. Just not now." I didn't know how much it had hurt for her to reject me until I got off of her and went to lay on my bed facing the wall. I hear her sigh and crawl to me, spooning me.

"Ellen...come on honey, don't be angry. I want to as much as you do but I want to wait..." she rubs my arm trying to sooth me but I shrug it off me.

"No. This is not the first time you reject me. I remember when you did it. I was a bit drunk and you rejected me." This time hurt just as much.

"How do you know about the first time? You remember?" I didn't know if she was trying to mess with me by asking ridiculous questions.

"Yes I remember. Why wouldn't I? It hurt that you did it back then, hurts now too." By the look on her face she thinks I'm playing with this.

"Ellen look at me" I turn to see her "I never told you about this. Only you and I know about it. With what happened to you, you shouldn't be able to remember..."

"What?... Ohhh...oh my god. What does that mean?" I'm confused and excited at the same time, long forgotten why I was upset to begin with.

"I...I don't know...Ellen do you remember other things? Try, maybe you are getting your memory back for sure." I tried to think but everything seemed like if a dream and not reality.

"I don't know...ask me things I wouldn't know" I try to focus on the questions.

"Let’s start with easy things. When is your mom's birthday?"

"May 20th?"

"Mine?"

"January 31st?"

"Yours?"

"January 26th?"

"Oh my goodness! This is amazing! Baby you had them all right!" We're both crying of happiness.

"I don't remember like big things, you know what I mean? Something though I do and I think I need to tell you about it...you remember Alex?" I see the color draining from her face and her eyes losing the twinkle they had.

"What about her? Ellen what did you hide from me?" her voice stern, dry and angry.

"Don't get angry, please?" I try to hold her hand but she snatched it away from my grasp "she gave me a letter before she left telling me she loved me..." I close my eyes tight, waiting for I don't know what.

"Tell me to you threw it away Ellen" oh no she's going to be fuming and I won't know what to do.

"Umm no...I hid it...from you..." damn I'm in trouble.

"She's dead. I will find her, you will see. You are mine, and no one else's." I need to calm her down before she does anything stupid, I just don’t know how "and you, you...dammit Ellen..." she looks at me, clearly hurt.

"Please? She left to I don't know where. Leave it alone, it meant nothing to me, well I felt bad but that's all. Please just leave it. For me?" I hope she gives that up. I had to tell her what I felt about that otherwise it would be worse if I kept it from her.

"Where is it? Where you hid it? I'll make sure it goes where it belongs" I didn't know she was this jealous, means she does care a lot about losing me.

"Umm in a shoebox inside the closet, on my side." I tried to caress her face, I was scared she would pull away or something but she didn't. Instead closed her eyes and let me calm her which I think worked. I lean to kiss her as she relaxed more. I pull away before things get heated again and rest my head on her chest and enjoy the silence between us.

"Baby what time is it. We have a dinner date remember? I'm hungry also" I chuckle and turn to see the clock on the wall.

"It's almost six. I think I need to get ready. Can't go to dinner in sweatpants" I laugh.

"Who cares, you look hot in them. Without them even hotter" she winks at me and I blush hard.

"Stop making me blush all the time, it's embarrassing in case you didn't know." I tuck my tongue out to her and giggle at her "offended" face.

"I'll be back in a few, you just lay there and relax."

"And where do you think you're going? Shy to change in front of me?" she raises an eyebrow and I blush yet again.

"Umm yes. I'm shy to change in front of you..." I admit it.

"Soon you won't be shy to be naked under me" I blush even harder and she laughs at me. She teases me and I love it.

"I'll get you back, you will see. You will let me go change or you want to be late for dinner?" I'll have to think of a way to get revenge.

I walk to the restroom and change into grey jeans and a black shirt. Matching with Portia I noticed. I walk back to my room to find her going through my things. I sneak up on her and scare her. She jumps and yells at me before we fall down laughing like little kids.

"Seems like you got be back really fast, didn't you?"

"Didn't I tell you I would? You just didn't know when. Plus you deserve it" I hit her arm playfully and help her up so we can leave.

"Bye mama. Behave. No parties in the house. Understood?" I joke.

"Oh of course not, how could I disobey my favorite daughter" she winks at Portia and she giggles.

"Mama, I'm your only daughter. Remember?" I roll my eyes and laugh with them. "No parties and no drinking" I tease her.

"You just ruined my plans but alright. I'll behave." I lean to give her a kiss and walk to the door before she says "have fun" adding a wink.

Chapter 16

We arrive at the restaurant, a very fancy one I must say, Portia says she has a reservation and we are lead to our table. Suddenly my head starts to throb, it wasn’t bad but after about ten minutes I couldn’t stand the pain. It would come and go, I didn’t want to ruin our night so I didn’t say anything about it. Our waiter came and we ordered, actually Portia ordered, I was staring into space at nothing in particular. Something felt familiar about this place, like I’ve been here before. I close my eyes and the scene of when I met Portia comes to me.

"Are you alright? Do you need any help?"

I stare at her while picking up the plates of food only to find her staring at me already. "I'm Ellen by the way, nice to meet you under these circumstances" I say in a shy voice. She extends her hand for me to shake and when our hands touch I feel this tingly feeling that goes all over my body which I've never felt for before.

"I'm Portia nice to meet you too." She says in her sophisticated voice, which sounds very sexy.

I feel an arm shaking me “huh? what happened?” I ask her.

“Are you okay? You are a little pale, do you want me to take you home?”

“No, I’m okay don’t worry about it. What were you saying?” Should I tell her or wait?

“I was asking if you like it here. It’s a quiet place and it’s cozy. Also very special for me…” I know why she said that before now and for me it is too.

“Yeah I do like it a lot. It’s the here where I met you. I just remembered now.” I decide to tell her after all, she will be happy.

“You did? We have to go see your doctor baby, this is amazing news. Maybe he can tell us for sure if you’ll recover everything or just bits” she says while holding my hand caressing the back of my neck with her other hand. I instantly don’t have pain anymore.

“I don’t want to. I don’t like being in there. Can we just keep it to ourselves, tell mama of course but just see where this goes without a doctor. I don’t think we should be alarmed or anything.” I try to convince her.

“We will see. For now let’s enjoy our night. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like a great idea” I agree with her, I want to enjoy our night.

Our drinks come and we toast to our love and happiness. We eat and talk about anything. I learned a few things that I maybe know but forgot. I often find myself staring at her making her blush, I like when I do that. We feed each other from our dessert and laugh at our teasing. I feel people watching us but I really don’t care at this point.

Portia again pays the bill, I should probably stop her from doing that but what can I say, I like to be spoiled once in awhile. She reaches for my hand pulling me up with her and we walk to her car hand in hand.

“Where to now baby?”

“I go anywhere with you” I just realized that I haven’t called her baby or anything like that, I wonder if she minds.

“Umm Portia do you mind I don’t call you like how you call me?” I’m intrigued.

“Do you mean like baby, honey and those?” I nod and she says “Of course not, you don’t have to, I’ll admit it would be nice though…”

“Sorry I’m just still, you know not use to it.” I’m not but also I’m shy and I always get nervous around her.

“Don’t worry. Will you tell me where to go or I go somewhere so we can talk?”

“Yeah that would be nice, I’d like to walk with you” I’ve decided I will tell her about the dream I had.

We stop at what seems to be a park of some sort. Before I have a chance to open the door Portia has already opened it waiting for me to take her hand and I do. We walk in silence for a few minutes before I ask her “who is Marissa?”

Her eyes are wide open, I can tell she wasn’t expecting that question, which only adds to my curiosity.

“How...from where you know that name?”

“Nowhere. Who is she? Are you interested in her? I can go away if you want…” it would break my heart but I would for her.

“Of course not Ellen, don’t be silly. Will you tell me how you know her?” she repeats her question.

“Last night, I had a dream of that woman in bed with you. I didn’t think much of it because I thought it was a sign that I should to try with you again. From your reaction now I’m not so sure…”

“Let’s go sit down, I have to explain something to you.” I was not expecting my curiosity leading to a serious talk. “Marissa is a friend of mine, let me finish” she puts her finger over my lips to quiet me “I know her since we were kids. The weekend you had to go back to New Orleans she came to visit me because of personal problems and she needed someone to talk to. After we finished talking it was really late and I didn’t want her to go alone to find a hotel so I offered for her to stay in our house for the night until she figured what to do. Since you and I sleep in our underwear and she was a long time friend I didn’t think much about wearing something else. That’s when you came, you saw her in bed with me, I was in my underwear and well you thought I was cheating on you with her. I didn’t forget about your call, my phone just decided to die on me and when I got home to plug it so I text you I fell asleep as soon as I laid down.” Well this took a long turn.

“That’s why I had this accident, didn’t I?” I can’t believe she has been saying it’s not my fault when it clearly is. I had to let her explain me but I didn’t, now the consequences are my memory loss. I hate myself, she blamed herself when it was my fault.

“I’m sorry...please forgive me and my stubbornness...I...I don’t deserve you…” I’m so angry and I can’t hide it from her.

“Hey no. Look at me” I don’t do as she says and keep looking down “Ellen look at me I said” when I don’t respond she makes me look at her, shame is what I feel for putting her through all this.

“Don’t beat yourself over something that happened” I let my gaze fall and she forces me to look at her again “it’s not your fault, it was an accident, do you understand? An accident. Now stop being so angry.”

“How?! All this happened because of me Portia. Everything is my fault. I hate myself…” my voice breaks.

“Oh baby no. Nothing is just fault, it was just the circumstances that’s all. You might hate yourself but I love you, everything about you. The bad and the good, it’s what makes you, my Ellen...” I don’t understand, how can she love me still?

I can feel my nails digging into my palms from how strong I’m making my fists. She reaches for my hands and kisses them, at once they open. Like before she caresses my cheek but this time she kiss me on my lips and I kiss her back letting a moan leave from me, pulling back we sit in silence.

“There is something I would like to recreate…” I say after a few minutes and give her a smirk.

“What could that be baby?” she asks raising her eyebrows.

“What we did once in the beach. You remember?” I whisper into her ear.

“Mmm yeah I do, I would love to do that again…” she says before kissing me again. After making out I lean on her and rest my head on her shoulder just enjoying each other’s company.

“Ellen tell me something, would you like to, let’s say, be my girlfriend?” I’m confused, aren’t we married?

“Girlfriend? Aren’t we married to be that now?” I ask tilting my head to the side.

“Yeah but as you don’t quite remember everything, I thought we could start anew. What do you think?”

“I love that idea but I don’t know. I like you more as my wife” I say twirling a strand of her hair around my finger.

“Is that so? You know we never went to our honeymoon, with the job I have it’s hard to find when to have time off but I think I deserve a break so how about we go on that honeymoon? Wherever you want to go we go, is a month enough time? We won't spend the whole month there but we can travel for the rest of it, how does that sound?” she says playing with my fingers.

“I do want that. I’d love that. We should go somewhere with a beach so we can recreate what I told you, what do you think?” I say in my sultry voice.

“That sounds perfect baby. Want to go on our honeymoon next weekend?”

“Yes I want to go away alone with you, to have you for myself” I whisper seductively.

“Get everything ready then. We leave in a few days” I didn’t realize how soon we would leave but I don’t care I just want to spend time with her.

Chapter 17

"Have you decided where we will go for our honeymoon?" I'm currently sitting in front of the computer searching for the ideal location but I'm stuck. Everywhere is so expensive. I wouldn't like for Portia to spend a lot for this and well I can't afford it of course.

"No. I don't have the money for this. Probably we should stay here and go somewhere close." She walks behind me and rubs my shoulders.

"Don't worry about that. Choose a place, don't look at the price. I want us to enjoy this honeymoon with no worries. Okay?" I hesitate for a bit before I nod.

I pull her on my lap and kiss her shoulder "how about you help me decide? I'm sure I'll like anything you choose" I start scrolling down through the list of ideal places.

"You want the beach so that narrows it down. I don't want to be a long time in the airplane either so it can't be too far away. Jamaica and Mexico sound great, also the Bahamas. What do you think?" I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying, mostly to how her lips were moving tempting me to kiss them.

"Ellen? What are you looking at? Did you decide from our three options or were you distracted?" She nudges my shoulder and realize I indeed was distracted.

"Your lips baby. So tempting they are. They captured my whole attention. I wanna kiss them..." I reach with my hand to outline them and she giggles.

"Honey stop it! It tickles" I pull my hand and give her a wink "will you decide or I do? Cause I already chose where I want to to."

"Where could that be or are you not going to tell me?" She always does this that never tells me where we are going, that it's a surprise is the excuse.

"Now that you mentioned it. No I won't tell you. It'll be a surprise and you will love it." Great Ellen you had to open your big mouth and talk. I admit I like it when she does this, I feel I fall more in love with her.

"I'll get everything ready, you just go pack okay? You have to be ready the day after tomorrow. I wouldn't want to miss our flights." How will she keep from me where we are going when we get in the airport I wonder. Ah she will cover my eyes and ears for sure.

We arrive at the airport and my suspicion was right. She brought a blindfold for my eyes, guess she will cover my ears with her hands. She's cute. "Will you tell me at least how many days we will be there?" She won't budge if I ask where we go so I don't even try.

"Just a few days, after that we will come back and travel across the country. Do you like that idea?" Sounds great, I'll get to visit so many places I've always dreamt of.

"You spoil me too much honey" we sit down and I lean my head on her shoulder. It feels strange being blindfolded in front of so many people. "I love that idea, a dream come true with the woman of my dreams."

"Let me spoil you. I want to do it so you just relax and enjoy this." I hear the speaker say our flight and before he says our destination Portia rushes to cover my ears, I had to laugh at that.

I didn't think she would achieve it but she managed for me to not know during the whole flight. We land after what seemed like days, collect our luggage, well she did because I can’t see anything. We walk towards the exit and I could smell the salt in the air and knew we were so close to the beach. Finally the blindfold is taken off and I squint my eyes trying to adjust them.

We look for a taxi and a driver says “Welcome to the Bahamas. Where can I take you?”

“The Bahamas?!” I shriek and grab Portia to kiss her, I don’t care that we’re in public and twirl around with her in my arms.  We arrive at our hotel after about twenty minute drive and Portia checks us in as I just marvel at my surroundings.

"Ellen, baby come on. Let's go to our room, rest a little bit and go out for dinner. You will love the view we will have for the next couple of days." I feel her arm wrap around my waist as she pulls me to walk to the elevator. We didn't bother to unpack just yet, we go to bed cuddle together and take a nap that we really needed. I feel Portia stir behind me wrapping herself around me waking up.

"Baby wake up, let's go have dinner" she says while kissing the back of my neck.

"I just want to lay here with you...mmm..." I moan at the feeling of stretching my body.

"Aren't you hungry? We haven't eaten the whole day, come on lazy pants, get up. We can have dinner by the beach and then go for a walk if you want.”

“Sounds like a great idea baby. Then...you know...we can come back here and…” I wrap my leg around her hips, pulling her closer to me and start kissing her neck.

“Mmm...and what honey?”

“You know...have dessert…” she gasps when I whisper in her ear and nibble on her earlobe.

“Baby...stop...even if it’s our honeymoon I still think it’s too soon…” I pull away before she finishes and stare at the ceiling “don’t be angry come on, I want you too but I’m scared…”

“Portia. In less than two weeks something happened that I seem to remember things when I’m with you. I still don’t remember a few things like our wedding, the accident or what you told me happened with Marissa. It bothers me I don’t remember the happiest day of my life when I married you, that I’m sure it was. I want you to remind me how it is to make love with you , how it feels to be loved by you. I feel it when you look at me and with everything you do for me but it’s not the same…it feels like you reject me every time because you don’t want me anymore...” I finish and walk to the bathroom to get ready for dinner ignoring her when she called me to come back.

Chapter 18

I get out of the shower and walk to our luggage that we didn't bother to unpack and try to find something decent to wear when Portia comes behind me and wraps her arms around my stomach placing her head on my back. I try to keep looking for clothes but she turns me to face her with arms still around me. I look at her and she gives me a pout and puppy dog eyes that makes my anger disappear, how she manages that all the time is still a mystery to me.

"I'm sorry. Will you forgive me? Please? I've made changes for our plans tonight, though we still have dinner to go to" I can't resist her and give her a smile.

"New plans huh? What would those be?" I know by now she won't budge but I tried, right?

"Mmm...you'll just have to wait and see..." she leans and gives me a kiss which I immediately deepen.

"Portia. Baby if we continue we won't have dinner today and I won't care about the "it's too soon" excuse and take you right here right now..." I mumble on her lips.

"You're too hot and sexy to resist, especially when you're only in your underwater...how I've done it lately is beyond me...don't know if tonight I'll be able to..." I get a wink and a smirk before she says "also I already have your clothes ready, I decided to dress you for tonight."

I look to the armchair she's pointing at with khaki shorts and a navy button up shirt arranged for me "I love it thank you baby" I peck her lips and get dressed folding the sleeves up to my elbows. She showers while I finish getting ready, don't think I need makeup, if so I'll ask her to do it for me.

"Ready?" I ask her when I hear her come out of the bathroom.

"Yeah just going to put a bit of makeup, want me to do yours or you don't want any tonight?"

"Look at me I'm gorgeous, do I need makeup?" I try to keep a straight face but fail when I hear her laugh.

"That's why I married you, you silly" she shakes her head smiling and goes back to the bathroom.

I sit on the bed thinking, actually trying to see if I remember anything at all. I do remember boarding the plane to New Orleans and coming back then it's blank, like if someone erased that memory permanently. I'm desperate to remember our wedding, the day I married my Portia but can't seem to be able to. I come back to my senses when she caresses my cheek and runs her thumb under my eye.

"What's wrong Ellen?" How long I zoned out, I have no clue.

"Nothing, I was just thinking...nothing important, don't worry. Shall we head to dinner?" I try to change subject before she asks again. Portia is wearing a white v-neck shirt and navy short shorts, she looks amazing. I take her hand and walk out of the room, I wrap my arm around her waist pulling her to me suddenly needing to feel her closer.

As we walk through the busy town I get a really bad headache that I need to sit down for a few minutes unable to keep walking.

"Ellen, darling are you okay?"she kneels in front of me.

"My head...hurts...really bad..." I groan at the pain and rub my temples trying to sooth it.

"Do you want to go back to the hotel? We'll call room service and have dinner there..." I try to keep up with her voice but fades out when I close my eyes and see my car rolling over with me inside. I feel a body embracing me and I somewhat relax, the pain is not as bad as before and my cheeks are wet, I've been crying?

I take a deep breath before I open my eyes to find myself hiding my face in Portia's neck, her hand rubbing my head and my arms are tight round her waist. When my breathing gets back to normal I pull away from her and giggle when I see her shirt wet from my tears.

"My love why are you laughing now, a minute ago you were crying of pain, sure you're okay?" The concern I see in her eyes warms my heart.

"Yeah somehow the pain disappeared like how it came, fast and mysteriously. Sorry for ruining your shirt..." I point to her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. We will to go to the doctor if you continue to get headaches like that"

"No. No doctor please. It's not all the time I get them anyway. By the way weren't we going to dinner?" I try to get her out of that idea. "Seems like I remember a few things when I get them, I don't know why, it's strange."

"Then you remembered something..."

"Yeah, well somehow. Let's say I saw myself running away from you then my car was crashing with me inside, I guess that was my accident?" It could be my imagination just as well.

"The part of you running away from me yeah but the accident part I wouldn't know baby, I didn't witness it" she shakes her head as if trying not to imagine how it happened.

"Well let's not dwell on it, just wish our wedding ceremony would come to me already...anyway it's getting late, let's go eat, now I'm starving too."

We hold hands and walk searching for a decent restaurant by the beach before she says "if you want I can tell you all about it, our wedding I mean" she holds our hands in front of her and kisses the wedding ring I never took off.

"Thank you but no. I want to remember it myself, I want to close my eyes and remember it vividly as if it just happened yesterday. If I don't then we'll just make a new memory of it...if you want that is."

"New memory? Ellen what are you talking about?" I don't know why I said that, it just came out.

"I don't know...maybe with a little bit of time we could, let's say...umm renew our vows, since we're married already and can't get married again..." I trail off and look ahead of us avoiding get burning gaze.

"Let's go in that one, it looks nice and quiet so we can talk" did I upset her with what I was implying I wonder. We enter the restaurant and the hostess takes us to our table saying our waiter will arrive shortly. "Baby, I'm not upset or anything I was just surprised. We can definitely renew our vows if that's what you wish to do."

"How do you do that?"

"How I do what? Today you're a bit...strange? You seem to be in your own world at times"

"You seem to always know what I think, that's intimidating. Before I thought I had upset you and then you say you weren't..." I stop in mid sentence when I see the waiter coming to our table.

"Good evening, my name is Josh and I'll be serving you tonight. Here are the menus, if you have any questions don't hesitate to ask. Now, what would you like to drink?" He asks looking at both of us.

"Two glasses of red wine, please" Portia says to him.

"If that is all I shall return to take your order, please take the time you need" he smiles and walks away.

Chapter 19

We stay in silence reading through the menu, seems like we came to an Italian restaurant. I like pasta so I think I'll take some kind of pasta dish, dessert I don't think I have appetite for it, Portia I think will take pasta too. After about ten minutes Josh comes back and we tell him our order and walks away again.

"Ellen even if we're together for less than a year I feel like if I know you fairly well. This is just an ordeal we have to get through together. Maybe it's a just a test to see if we are meant to be together, I love you, I don't want anything else than to spend the rest of my life with you..." I take her hand give a squeeze and give her a warm smile.

"I don't know what to say...all of this is very stressful. I don't know how you still want to be with me. Maybe I never do recover fully, you know that, maybe I'll forget things easily, maybe you'll get tired of me, maybe..."

"Stop. What part of 'I love you' do you not understand? I'll love you with or no memory. I'll be with you in the good and bad times, please understand baby. Don't beat yourself over something you can't change or control for the matter, don't you love me?...at all?" She interrupts me and startles me with her question, do I love her? Deep down I know I do, I know there's something pulling me to her, we have a connection and I feel it. I don't think I've ever said 'I love you' to her though.

"I know I do deep down Portia, I know I haven't said it to you and I feel guilty but I just can't bring myself to say it. You do feel we have something special right? I trust you with everything I have but something keeps me from saying it..." damn it, the twinkle her eyes had disappeared and I think I just hurt her with my words, I'm sure she will take it the wrong way, 'please don't be angry' I pray to myself.

"I...I understand don't worry, I'll be waiting for you baby. And yes I do feel what we have is special, I just can't help feeling bad about what you said..." I get up and move my chair beside hers and embrace her kissing the top of her head only to be interrupted by our food arriving and I reluctantly move back to where I was. While we ate I tried to lighten the mood talking about different things, just trying to make Portia feel better or at least forget our prior conversation. At one point I tried to tease her, occasionally I would brush my foot against her leg going up to her knee. I couldn’t tell if it bothered her or if she liked it, either way I did it from time to time.

“You want to go for a walk or prefer to go back to the hotel?” She asks once we exited the restaurant.

“I would like to walk, it’s a very nice night after all…and the view is mesmerizing...” once again we hold hands while we walk.

“Yeah it is, you are right” smiling she looks towards the horizon where the sky meets the sea as if blending to be one.

“That is too as well…” I sigh still looking at her, unaware of the meaning of my words “you are the mesmerizing view I was talking about…”

“Oh, umm thanks?...” even if it’s dark I’m sure she’s blushing.

“I bet you a kiss you are blushing” I giggle when she shakes her head disapprovingly.

“You can’t know, it’s dark and I don’t blush, ever.”

“Really? Are you sure? Now I bet two kisses that you were and you are right now…” I can’t help myself, I like to know I make her blush with any compliment I give her. It’s cute.

“Oh stop it. You just make me feel all queasy inside when you talk to me like that. Stop looking at me like that come on, I get nervous…” she hits my arm playfully and we laugh. We find a couple of rocks and sit down, she pulls me to her with my back against her chest and rests her hands on my stomach. Subconsciously I rest my head on her shoulder, turn to my right and nuzzle in her neck kissing her softly. My hands rest over her own as I continue my attack on her neck, every once in a while I nibble getting a gasp as a reward.

“I love you” I breathe against her ear. She tightens her grip on me and looks into my eyes, I could barely make it out but I could see tears stinging her eyes so I reach out to wipe them away.

We stare into each other’s eyes for a couple of seconds before she leans and says “I love you too” against my lips before kissing me in a warm deep kiss. She pulls away and gives a happy sigh. It felt right to tell her I love her, I’m in a position where I began to understand just how much she means to me, how much I need her in my life. We sit there for half an hour before she motions for me to get up, holding hands without a word we walk to the hotel.

Walking out of the elevator she sneaks her hand around my waist pulling me closer, as soon as we get through the door she pushes me against the wall pressing her body flush against mine. She strokes my cheek softly, her lips are so close to mine yet too far, her scent engulfs my senses. I could hear her breathing hitch when I lapped my tongue over my lips, she was torturing me. Deliberately she closes the gap between our lips as spark fly everywhere. Portia reached with her right hand to cup my cheek as she tangled her left one in my hair, moving her lips to my neck kissing it tenderly. I reach for the hem of her shirt and sneak my hands under it and around her lower back slowly sliding down to her butt groping lightly. Her hands go down to my breasts fondling them as she rocks her hips against mine, the friction soothing somehow the aching throb between my thighs.

We stumble through the room to the small sitting area and I’m pushed back plunging into the sofa followed by Portia straddling my lap. Her hands become more frantic as she tries to take my shirt off throwing it behind her after succeeding, I try to reciprocate but she pins my hands behind my head as she continues to nibble on my neck.

“Baby I’m so into you, I want you…tonight will be a long night...” she mutters against my ear.

“Then show me…I'm looking forward to it...” I yelp when she pinched my nipples over my bra.

“Mmm...did you like that?”

Releasing my hands so she could unbutton my shorts I take her shirt off and throw it behind her, I caress and squeeze her breasts leaning to kiss her chest. Looking up I grab her head and kiss her passionately forcing my tongue into her mouth earning myself a moan. Portia unclasps my bra pushing me back against the sofa reaching down to take my nipple into her warm mouth making me throw my head back in pleasure, I hiss when she bites it gently and rolls my other nipple between her fingers. I whimper when she pulls back giving me a sly smile and a wink before standing and pulling me up with her, making my unbuttoned shorts fall down my legs.

"You're overdressed baby..." I mutter reaching for the button of her shorts and letting them fall down around her ankles. I stare in awe and remember to breathe "you're so beautiful..." I say just above a whisper.

"And you're so sexy...I want to make love to you like never before..." once again she pulls me to her walking towards the bed, I lay down with Portia on top of me in between my legs. I'm sure she can feel how wet she has made me, I take the chance to take her bra off and roll her nipples between my fingers as she kisses me biting and nibbling on my lips. I stare into her eyes as she starts to go down kissing me everywhere and running her tongue down my navel stopping just above my underwear, grabbing it with her teeth to take it off. I gulp when she stops where I need her the most, feeling her breath hit on that sensitive spot. She gives me a cheeky grin before she kisses me just above my clit, and a wink before she sneaks her tongue out to lick it. My breathing quickens when she takes it in her mouth grazing her teeth over it, never losing eye contact she slides her tongue into my entrance and I can't help but hold her head there encouraging her to not stop. "You taste so good baby..." she says licking her lips.

"Oh yeah...?" I pull her up and crash our lips tasting myself in our hot kiss. I turns us over, go down and kiss her everywhere like she did to me, stopping to take her underwear off. I part her legs and lick her slit before I take her clit into my mouth, I realize I'm not as good at this as her so I copy what she did to me and slide my tongue into her entrance, she moans and grips my hair pulling me up for a searing kiss. Portia takes advantage and turns us over once again tracing her fingers down my body rubbing my clit gently but rough "please...don't tease me..." I beg her.

"Patience my love, I don't want to rush this..." she continues on her slow and pleasuring torture.

I start to shake and moan louder "Portia...I'm going to..." I pant before I come. Before I calm down she moves on top of me and slides two fingers in, I look for her lips with my hands unable to open my eyes. I kiss her sliding my hand to the back of her head tangling it in her hair, I groan when she starts to move her fingers in and out slow at first.

Wanting to reciprocate I reach down to her only for her to pull my hand away to pin it above me saying "tonight it's only about you baby." I give in without a protest and arch my back as she pushes a third finger inside me, her pace getting faster and we both start to sweat this only helping her to slide down and suck on my nipple while we look into each other's eyes never breaking our gaze. Lost in those grey eyes a feeling full of love overcomes me, letting her see it she gasps "I love you, you're my everything, my life..." a tear escapes falling down on the side of my face. Portia leans up and kisses me, I could never get tired of her lips, and pushes faster and harder into me as deep as she could. I moan into her mouth getting closer with each thrust of her fingers, I feel myself tighten around them sending me over the edge.

"I do too, it feels like the first time we made love...I'll never forget the day I married you, the day I became yours..." I say holding onto her caressing her cheeks looking into her eyes.

"I will never forget that day either, best day of my life baby" confused she tilts her head to the side before asking "you remember our first time together? Our wedding?"

'Why shouldn't I' I say to myself before my eyes widen and my vision gets blurry when tears threaten to fall down, realizing my big accomplishment. "Oh my goodness...I remember everything we've gone through, you...you helped me baby" I say close to her ear pulling her closer to kiss her.

"I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, and see what the future holds for us. If we got through something like this then we are ready for anything that gets thrown at us baby. I love you Ellen."

“You and me, together forever. I love you Portia, I want to show you just how much I do” I say before I crash our lips for the millionth time tonight.