Creepy Surprise

Portia POV

It’s Friday, usually Ellen has Fridays off but today she was called in for an important meeting regarding the show, I still haven’t heard a word from her and it’s nearly noon. I was hoping we would spend all day together, just lounging around doing nothing. Her company is all I need for it to be a great day. I miss her too much when we’re apart.

A car pulling up takes me out of my train of thought. I place the book I tried to focus on, with no success, and walk to the window that looks out to our driveway. I take a peek behind the curtain and see a blonde emerging from her favorite car.

Sunglasses cover her beautiful blue eyes, she swings her signature suit jacket over her shoulder and her right hand in her pocket. My eyes are glued on her as she strides towards the front door.

“Baby I’m home!” Ellen shouts as soon as she unlocks the door before she even walks inside. A smile appears on my face at the sound of her voice.

Instead of going to her I hide on the other side of the wall that separates the foyer from the rest of the house. I hear the keys being placed on the table and her shuffling out of her shoes. I position myself ready to jump in front of her and scare the jeebies out of her.

“Don’t even think about it.” I hear her say in a serious but playful tone. I pout and come out of my hiding spot. She reaches for my hands pulling me into her arms erasing my pout with a sweet kiss.

“How did you know?” Her lips linger on mine a little longer, I feel her smile and I peck them before pulling away.

“A hunch.” She shrugs.

“Uhum. A hunch.” I slide my hands up her arms until I reach her neck. I pull her body flush against mine, feeling the warmth touch my own. Her hands go to my hips, her thumbs draw small circles as mine play with the hair at the back of her neck.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.” I breathe against her cheek, my lips softly brushing her smooth skin. I kiss her cheek making my way to her ear, teasing her is my favorite thing to do, and take her earlobe between my teeth.

“I like where this is...going.” She moans as I start unbuttoning the first three buttons of her shirt. I take a peek at what is waiting for me under that shirt. “Like what you see?” Her voice is low, almost like a whisper.

“Love.” I simply say before I kiss her chest, I kiss the exposed skin as I keep unbuttoning the shirt. I bury my face between her breasts, kissing them both twice before lowering myself to kiss her stomach. I see how the muscles quiver under my touch, her breathing becomes ragged.

I pull the shirt down her shoulders trapping her arms to her sides. I continue to kiss her toned body making sure I kiss every inch of her. I cup her face between both hands and look straight into her blue eyes, I lean in and peck her lips, give her a wink and walk away.

I sway my hips as I walk away, I can feel her eyes burning on me. Before I cross the threshold that leads to the living room I turn and look at her dumbfounded face.

“That would be my way of saying sorry if I had scared you baby.” I blow her a kiss. “Too bad you had a hunch.” I wink again and shake my head at her disappointed face.

I chuckle when I hear Ellen groan stomping her way to the kitchen like a kid that got told no at her favorite snack. Wolf comes running and jumps on me as if he hadn't seen me for days. I pet his little fluffy white head then walk over to where I was sitting before Ellen came home and pick up my book to put it back where it belongs.

Wolf follows me and sits when I stop in front of a bookshelf. He wags his tail as he waits for me to pay him attention, I become distracted for a moment and he starts barking.

I kneel down to pet him, unexpectedly he jumps on me and I fall back on my ass. He starts to lick my face which makes me laugh so I decide to lay down and play for a little bit with him.

A cool breeze coming from the opened door that leads to the backyard sends chills up and down my body. I pet Wolf a couple of times before getting up and rub my arms as I walk towards the door to close it. I stop on my tracks about two feet away from the door and freeze.

Ellen POV

I was a little frustrated by Portia's teasing about ten minutes ago and I needed a cold glass of water after the way she left me. I was in the process of changing into more comfortable clothes when I hear someone shout.

“Baby! Baby!” I hear Portia shout at the top of her lungs again. I throw my pants across the room and rush out to see what's wrong.

“Portia? Honey, where are you?!” I yell back as I make my way to the kitchen thinking she had a minor accident while cooking.

“Living room!” As I cross the threshold I spot her staring at the floor by the door. I shiver at how chilly it’s going to be tonight. I feel goosebumps all over my body since I'm practically half naked. “A snake.” She whimpers.

Carefully I walk towards Portia, she turns to look at me with clear panic in her eyes. Wolf is sitting right next to her staring at the same spot Portia is. I follow her gaze back to the floor once I have her in my arms.

“Oh shit.” I say under my breath. “How did that get in here?” I mostly ask myself.

“The doorbell rang and I opened to him.” I roll my eyes at Portia's sarcasm.

“So funny baby, here I was thinking you had a new pet.” I get a slap on my arm. “Don't hit me woman, it was just a joke.” I kiss her shoulder and slowly start pulling her back with me. Once I'm sure she's at a safe distance from the snake I decide to take a closer look at it.

“Ellen! What are you doing, it's going to bite you! What if it's poisonous?!” Portia starts freaking out behind me.

“Shh baby, I'm making sure if it is or not.”

“Don't shh me and come back here!” I lean down just close enough to look at its head. Over the years of living in California I've learned a thing or two about wild animals, in this case it's all about the head. You can tell by the shape of it if it's poisonous or not.

“Oh boy, it's a poisonous one.” I say nonchalantly, I don't want to scare her more than what she already is. “It's a baby… though.”

“Right, like it being a baby makes it less poisonous. Just come back here, please?” Portia pleads with tears in her eyes.

“I can't leave it there baby. What if it bites one of the dogs or worse, one of us.” I grab a book from the coffee table and lean against the wall.

“Ellen, you have gone crazy. Let's call someone to come and get it out instead.” I shake my head and start lowering the book slowly. The snake hisses and I jump dropping the book instantly. “Baby!” Portia shrieks.

I grab another book and wait for it to coil back before I attempt at pushing it out the door. My hands are shaking as well as my bare legs, either I'm very nervous or I'm freezing to death. Whichever one it is a sigh of relief escapes from me as I shut the door and slide down to the floor.

“We need to fix that screen door.” I breathe out letting my head fall against the wall.

“You're so crazy but brave. I love you baby, come on let's get some pants on you.” Portia kneels between my legs and the cold is suddenly forgotten.

“I don't think I need pants.” Her soft warm hands start massaging my cold legs, the warmth of them reaching somewhere else instead.

“Oh really, what is it that you need then?” She all but whispers.

“Surprise me.” I wink.

“I wonder…” Portia sits up and straddles me. Her hands go around my neck as her legs go around my waist like a koala holding onto a tree. “What it is that you need…” Her hips begin to grind against me. My hands go to her legs and I glide them up and down gently caressing them.

“You drive me crazy.” I moan as her lips attack my neck, softly nibbling and kissing it. “Baby-”

“Shh…” She cuts me off with a finger over my lips. “I want to thank you for being so brave and saving me from that monstrous baby snake.”Her finger traces my lip and down my neck stopping above the collar of my t-shirt.

Her other hand tugs at my hair exposing my neck to her mouth. Portia leans in, her warm breath hitting the base of my neck send shivers down my back, and her soft tongue licks up my jawline to my ear.

“You're mine.” She breathes out in my ear, my hands go further up her thighs close to where I really want to touch but she grabs my hands and holds them above my head. “Not today, today I'm in charge.” She knows I love it when she's in charge.

“I need to touch you-” I'm cut off with a soft bite to my lip and a shake of her head. “Please.” She bites a little harder to show her disapproval.

“I want you.” Her lips capture mine in a searing but gentle kiss. Her soft tongue enters to play with mine and I almost lost it. I moan as her hand sneaks into my shirt caressing my stomach. It inches closer and closer to my bra taking it off in a swift motion.

Next on the list is the shirt. She pulls it up to my breasts and stares at me, she fondles my left breast squeezing it gently, I moan as the tip of her thumb flicks my nipple.

She pulls my shirt over my head and throws it somewhere across the living room along with my bra leaving me only in my underwear. She bites her lip before leaning forward to kiss my shoulders and chest. Her hands squeeze my breasts as she kisses between them.

Portia gets off of me and pulls me along with her away from the wall laying me down on the floor and lays next to me propped up on her arm. She rolls my nipples between her fingers taking one into her mouth, I hiss as her teeth close around it biting on it softly.

Her hand sneaks into my underwear, she cups my sex as she continues her sweet torture on my breasts. A single finger slides between my folds teasing me, it goes down to my entrance and back up to my clit. She draws small circles around my clit not quite touching it.

“Baby-” Her finger teases my entrance and pushes only the tip of it before pulling completely away from me. “What-” I'm cut off by her hovering over me and sliding down to my stomach. She tugs at my underwear with her teeth then swiftly taking them off throwing them to join the rest of my clothes.

She opens my legs wider, the cool air hitting my heated sex gives me goosebumps. Laying between my legs she places her hands under my thighs and over my hips to keep me in place.

Soft kisses cover my inner thighs, soft lips linger above my clit, I raise my hips in an attempt to alleviate the pressure building inside me. Green blue eyes clouded with lust stare at me as if waiting for my consent. Then it hits me, she wants me to beg.

“Portia…” I pant.

“Yes darling?” I look down at her to find a mischievous smile on her face.

“I want- I need you baby.”

“Tell me what do you need.” She kisses me and blows on my clit, I groan at her stubbornness.

“Please.”

“Please what?” Another blow on my clit and I give in.

“Please- fuck me.” My head falls back on the floor as her soft warm tongue circles my clit. I gasp for air as she takes it in her mouth and sucks on it. My moans get louder as she works her magic on me.

Her tongue licks my clit one last time before it finds its way to my opening. She teases me again, her thumb replaces her tongue as she pushes it inside as deep as she can. Her hands keep in place as my hips move to match her every move.

She applies more pressure on my clit as her tongue moves faster in and out of me. I hold her hand tightly and my legs close around her head as my orgasm builds, threatening to explode in any given moment.

I hold my breath and moan Portia's name as pleasure overcomes me, sending fireworks off in my head. Portia cleans me up before kissing her way up my body and resting her head on my chest.

“I love listening to your heart after I make love to you.” She whispers, I run my fingers through her long hair wrapping my arms around her.

“It beats only for you.” I kiss her nose when she looks up at me.

“I love you you beautiful blue-eyed girl.”

“I love you you gorgeous Australian girl.” I smile and I kiss her soft lips. “But next time we should try the sofa.” I say and she laughs nodding in agreement. A comfortable silence follows and I allow myself to enjoy this moment, a feeling I could never get tired of having the love of my life in my arms.

Going For A Ride

Portia POV

I groan exasperated at how bored I am. It’s a Saturday night and I’m spending it alone and at home. My best friend dumped me to go out with her boyfriend. She asked me if I wanted to come but being the third wheel is certainly not in my plans.

I grab the tv remote and flip through the channels, maybe I'm lucky and find a nice, entertaining movie to watch. I settle into what seems to be a thriller, perfect movie, I love thrillers. I'm not so fond of watching them alone and I feel actually creeped out by his certain movie so I turn it off.

My apartment is in complete silence as I stare at the black screen a few feet in front of me. I take my phone to check the time, 8:37, I have a very lonely night ahead of me. I sigh.

Five minutes have passed and I feel I'll die of boredom if I don't find something to do soon. I take my phone from the coffee table and open up the message app.

Please help me. I'm going to die. I'm so bored. I write to Anne, my best friend that will probably ignore me. I toss the device on the sofa next to me and turn the tv back on.

I asked if you wanted to come, didn't I? Now suck it up. I roll my eyes. I should probably go out to a bar or something, maybe I find a special someone. I immediately shake that thought out of my head.

So much for being best friends huh?

You're such a child. Go to that bar close to your apartment and who knows, maybe you find a girl to take home. ;) Involuntarily I blush. I turn off the tv again and make my way to my room. I decided I will go have fun alone.

Thirty minutes later I'm all ready to find myself a nice, cute, sexy girl. I shake my head at my own silly thoughts and grab my keys and purse before walking out to the chilly night.

I park my car looking out the window at the one story building in front of me. It seems it's a little empty from the lack of cars in the parking lot so I decide to go on a search of a better place to pass my time.

I found the perfect place on the outskirts of town. It looks like it just opened unlike the earlier one it's been there for a few years now. I park my car next to a nice motorcycle, careful not to hit it. Who knows what kind of guy owns that beautiful motorcycle, I don't want any trouble on my first time here.

I take a quick look at my makeup and hair on the small mirror before getting out of the car straightening my black dress. I lock up my car and throw my keys inside my purse. I take a deep breath and walk towards the dark wooden door.

I choke on the thick smoke as soon as I open the door. I wave my hand in front of my face to get rid of the smoke at least so I can breathe better.

A couple of people turn to look at me for a few seconds then they go back to whatever it was they were doing. I slowly walk up to the bar and take a seat on the only empty barstool. The bartender comes to me and I order the same I take in any bar I go to. A martini.

I take a look around the bar, it's small but it has a cozy feeling. There's paintings along the walls, two pool tables down the left side and the rest it's just small tables, a couple of them occupied by middle-aged men and women.

The guy sitting next to me seems to have had a little too much to drink. He calls on the bartender for another drink and he turns him down. I relax a little and continue to sip on my drink.

Some time later the entrance door swings open and a rowdy group of four or five people come in. I internally groan at them, so far it was quiet and peaceful. They push on each other as they head towards the pool tables.

All of them are wearing their signature leather jacket except one person and she makes her way to the bar. The stranger sits next to me on the empty barstool and orders double shots for her group.

I look at her from the corner of my eye and can't help but be in awe. She has short blonde hair and perfect jawline, the tight black shirt outlines her toned body. Her tongue sneaks out to lick her velvety lips and fiddles with the coaster as she waits for the bartender to hand her the tray full of tequila shots.

Her muscles flex as she takes the tray in one hand and grabs her jacket with the other. I sneakily watch as she walks away, her butt catching my attention.

The group clink their shot glasses and drink the clear liquid in a swift motion. I take a sip of my own and watch their playful interaction. They set up the pool table and the hot looking blonde is playing against a bulky looking guy. Both put a fifty dollar bill on a corner of the table before he breaks up the balls.

In the end the girl wins getting congratulatory pats on her back. Again they all take their shots and drink the clear liquid before starting another game, the winner against a new opponent.

The blonde wins again with a smug look on her face. I hope she comes back for another order of shots, I would love to talk to her. The small group scatters to the tables in pairs of two, the blonde is left without a partner and makes her way back to the bar.

I sit quietly as she orders her drink. I look her up and down from the corner of my eye, her jacket placed neatly over her lap. I run my finger over the rim of my glass, secretly trying to get her attention.

“You're eyes are burning through me.” She whispers and I blush from being caught. “No need to blush.” I could hear her smile in her words, slightly amused.

“I- It's not my fault you're easy on the eyes.” She chuckles. “Portia.” I stick my hand out to her and she takes it, the touch sends an electric shock down my whole body.

“Ellen.” She gives me a smile that takes my breath away. “You are also easy on the eyes.” She winks and I feel my heartbeat increase and my face growing hot with each second she looks at me.

“Congratulations.” I raise my glass and she furrows her eyebrows. “Pool champion.” A grin appears upon her beautiful face.

“Thank you, Portia.” The way she says my name has my head spinning. I stare at her very blue eyes, I can't seem to look away. “What is it?” She teases me.

“Your eyes… they are so blue.”

“I take it you like them.” She banters making me blush again.

“A lot…” I take my glass and take a sip to calm down.

“I like your eyes a lot too.” The bartender brings her drink and she takes a sip as well. “Do you know how to play pool?” She turns to face me placing her glass down.

“I don't even know which ball you hit first.” Her laugh brightens the place even if it's a little dark in here.

“At least you know about balls.” I erupt in laughter, I take a hold on her forearm and throw my head back. “What's so funny?” She says through her soft laughter, I have such a dirty mind.

“Forget about it.” I brush it off giving her a wink. “I like your laugh… a lot…” I trail off.

“You seem to like all of me.” I blush bright red and gulp the rest of my drink. “I like all of you too.” I swallow hard as she continues to stare at me. “Another for this pretty woman.” She says to the bartender, he nods and walks away.

“Is that what you tell every girl you see?” I say before I realize what I have said but she shakes her head laughing.

“I've actually never been this forward with a beautiful stranger before.” She leans towards me and takes my hand to kiss it softly. “You, Portia, have awaken something in me.” My breath hitches at the sound of my name.

“I- Ellen- you-” I seem to have lost the use of my vocabulary. “You make me very, very nervous.” I'm able to get out.

“I hope it's a good nervous.” She continues to lean closer to my neck and starts to whisper. “How would you like to go for a round with me?” My mouth goes dry and the opposite happens in another part of my body.

“I- what?” I croak out.

“Pool. Let's play a round.” She smirks as she pulls away, very aware of what she has done to me.

“But I don't know how-”

“Don't worry about it, come on.” Ellen grabs my hand pulling me to the pool table she previously played at. “Hold this.” She hands me some kind of stick.

“What is this stick for?” I twirl it between my fingers.

“It's a pool cue, you hit the ball with this.” She takes some triangular shape thing and places it on the center. “I'll rack them up for you.” I tilt my head as she starts placing different colored balls inside the rack leaving a white one outside.

“How am I supposed to hit them in there?” I grab my pool cue ready to hit the balls. “How do you hold this thing?” I hold it out for her to see.

“Patience pretty woman.” She winks taking the triangle shape off the table. “Come here.” I slowly walk to her with stick in hand and she places the white ball in front of the others.

“Are we not betting anything?” I lean against the table expectantly.

“Oh you wanna bet?” I nod with a smile on my face. “Well what do you want to bet?” Her own smile becomes a smirk.

“If I win I want a kiss from you.”

“And if I win, I want all of you.” Her smirk becomes a sly smile and I have to remind myself to breathe. I have no chance against her, not only will I get a kiss from her but all of her as well.

“Deal.” She chokes as I give her a wink. “You will lose.” I know I’m a lost cause but I manage to say it with enough confidence to make her chuckle.

She takes my hand in hers tugging at it for me to follow and I do standing between her and the pool table. “Either way I still get a kiss.” Ellen whispers close enough to my ear to make me shiver.

“How- will you-” She stays still close to my ear, I could feel her hot breath turning me on even more. “-show me how play?” She lets out a throaty laugh.

Ellen places both of her hands on my hips pushing me against the table, her front flush against my back, she bends forward prompting me to do the same. “You hold the pool cue like this.” She starts placing it correctly between my fingers, her arms around my torso. “I’ll help you break them up.”

“Ellen…” I could feel the heat emanating from her crotch on my ass, it’s so difficult to concentrate on the game when all I feel is her hips moving against my backside.

She shows me how to place my left hand on the table so I’m able to hit the cue ball. Her right hand moves from my hip to my shoulder down to my hand guiding it back on the pool cue.

“With this hand…” My fingers wrap around the wood and hers follow wrapping around my own. “This is the one that gets the job done.” Her lips are now on my ear, I shudder as the warm air hits it.

She places her left over mine securing the tip of the pool cue in my fingers, she lets out a hot breath and pulls it back and forth with her right hand between my fingers. I lost the little concentration I had once her breath hits my ear and plop down on the table. She chuckles and I can’t help the low moan that escapes my lips at her crotch being flush against my ass.

Absentmindedly I start to circle my hips on her, her hands go to my waist stopping my movements. She leans over me trapping me between her and the table. “What-” I start.

“You're not making it easy to teach you.” She cuts me off. “Shall we try again?” She purrs close to my ear. I nod and she gets off me. “Now, Portia, stop distracting me.” I huff, I'm not doing anything.

“You make it hard not to.” I say contradicting myself. Ellen places the the pool cue between my fingers again and pulls it back and forth with her right hand over my own. “You're very attractive.” I mumble as the pool cue hits the ball before it.

“That was a good break.” I smile triumphantly and sit up. “You're also very attractive.” She entices and goes to take her own pool cue leaving me in some kind of trance.

I walk towards her as she takes her position to hit the ball she's aiming for in the right spot. I place my hand on her lower back in an attempt to distract her. I'm pleased when she misses her shot.

“I guess it's my turn.” I give her my smug face and get in position. I aim for the red ball and it goes into the pocket. I'm surprised it went in but she doesn't have to know that. I aim for the green one and it also goes inside.

“Are you sure you've never played before?” She asks after I've pocketed most of mine.

“Am I kicking your ass?” I banter. She nods and I have to hold myself from laughing. “Looks like I'm getting as kiss after all.” I state as I aim for the last colored ball but miss.

“Don't be so sure pretty woman.” She smirks taking her position. Before I know it all the striped balls have disappeared and only the eight ball is left. “You were saying?” It's her turn for the smug look. I'm in awe and speechless.

“How- what?” I ask incredulous. All she does is laugh. If she pockets the eight ball she wins.

“I guess I...win.” The ball goes straight to the bottom left pocket. “I guess you're mine now…” Her hands latch on my waist pulling me flush against her.

“But…” I start to get nervous again. “Ellen…” I breath out on her lips that are so close to mine.

“Portia…” She whispers as her soft lips finally close around mine. I'm lost in the kiss as it gets more feverish. Her warm tongue traces my bottom lip, I don't hesitate and open to her. Our tongues caress one another in a dance they seem to have known all along.

Her hand sneaks down my thigh and stops right above my knee. She fiddles with the hem of my dress pushing it achingly slow up my thighs. I'm craving for her to touch me everywhere, I want to touch her everywhere as well.

My left hand goes to the back of her neck keeping her in place as the other slips under her black shirt to caress her navel. Her hand creeps up further lightly touching with the tips of her fingers. I whimper at the loss of her touch when her hand snakes over my stomach and chest to cup my face.

“How about we take this somewhere else?” She says breathless over my lips, I nod as I go for another kiss. “Have. You. Ever. Gotten. On a. Motorcycle?” Ellen utters between kisses.

“Motorcycle?” That certainly caught me off guard.

“Yeah or we could…” She pulls away giving me a sly smile. “You know, give them a show…” I choke and glare at her, she must be kidding. “Or as I said, wanna go somewhere more... private?” She kisses me again and I'm putty in her hand.

“Where?”

“Trust me?” I nod and I'm being pulled towards the exit.

“Wait, the bill.” I try to pull back but she's too strong for me to even try anything. “Ellen-” She slips a fifty dollar bill to the bartender and we're out to the chilly night, a shiver sneaks up on me.

“Here.” She places her jacket on my shoulders. “You'll need it.”

“You'll be cold now.” I try to take it off to give back to her but she doesn't let me.

“I'm hot actually.” She gives me a wink and a smirk. “Come on.” I follow her to an all black motorcycle with a helmet on the seat. “Put this on.” I just stare at it and she moves to put it on for me, she grabs one from a nearby motorcycle placing it on her head.

“Did you just steal a helmet?” She laughs shaking her head.

“No, it's my brother's.” She gets on her motorcycle waiting for me to get on behind her. It's not going to be easy when I'm wearing a dress.

My first two attempts were not successful, all Ellen did was laugh. If I don't hitch my dress I'm never getting on that motorcycle. I stand if front of her, I make sure I have her full attention and slowly lift my dress over my thighs, exposing myself to her. A gasp leaves her lips and I know I have had full effect on her.

“Is this ok?” I tease her and she nods as I wrap my hands around her stomach. “Hope you liked what you saw.” I say into her neck and kiss it softly.

She starts the engine and the vibration takes me by surprise. My whole body starts to shake from head to toe. The feeling is exhilarating as she revs the engine and the motorcycle vibrates even more.

A certain part of my body is certainly welcoming that feeling. I tighten my arms around her and sneak my hand under her shirt over the band of her jeans. My thumb draws small circles around her belly button, I could feel her muscles quiver under my touch.

I press my body flush against her back, I work on the button of her jeans and slip it through the small hole. Her body tensed up as my hand slides over her underwear to cup her sex.

“Portia, you're- I will kill us both.” Her breath hitches as I press my fingers down on her.

“Then slow down…” I softly bite her shoulder. Suddenly her left pocket starts to vibrate. “Your phone it's-” She pulls over to the side of the road and takes out her phone from her pocket to answer it.

“What do you want?” She blurts out, a mischievous idea comes to me and I start to rub her over her underwear. She leans her body back on me as I work on her.

I hear a muffled male voice through the speaker. “You took my helmet didn't you?” He didn't sound angry or upset, more like amused.

“Of course, didn't you see me leave with a pretty woman?” She takes a sharp breath as my other hand sneaks up to her breast under her bra.

Her brother, who I'm guessing it is, laughs for a second or two. “Damn, you got more game than I do.” She chuckles.

“I sure do big brother.” My thumb flicks over her nipple until it hardens, her groan gives her away.

“I think I'll let you go, you sound busy.” He teases but I'm sure Ellen could careless about his comment.

“I will be all night.” I could see the sly smile forming on her lips from the side of her face as she stuffs her phone back into her pocket. I definitely was looking forward to this night which was full of lust and desire the moment I laid eyes on her.

Crush: Part 2

Chapter 20

Who wakes up early on a Saturday morning? Apparently me, I always sleep in during the weekend but today I can’t do that. Today I have to get up and beg mama into letting me go to Portia’s game which starts in a couple of hours and I don’t know how long it’ll take me to convince her to let me go.

I get up and grab all the dirty clothes I have lying around my room and take them to the laundry. It’s better to get on her good side now and maybe I have more of a possibility of going.

I go to the kitchen and put all the dirty dishes in the dishwasher as well. I grab everything to start the only thing I know how to cook, which is breakfast and it’s going to be pancakes of course.

“I see you started to help around the house.” Comes from behind startling me, the pancake I was flipping nearly flies to the ceiling.

“Yes- yeah I figured it’s better to get on your good side.” I put the spatula down and turn the stove off. “Want some pancakes?” I give her a smile, she shakes her head trying to hide her own smile.

“There’s something you want isn’t there?” She asks as she takes a seat next to me. I cut my pancakes in half then in half again, I need to think of how to word my question to her.

“I want- I know I’m ground-”

“But?” She cuts me off raising her eyebrows.

“But I wanted to ask if you’ll let me go to…” I start to mess with my pancakes instead of eating them. I’ve never been scared to ask mama something but being grounded is different.

“Go where?”

“Portia’s game.” I mumble unsure if she heard me or not. “I promised her I would go.” She sighs.

“Didn’t you tell her you were grounded?” I nod as I stare at my plate. “Why you promised her that then?”

“I did a few days ago mama, I didn’t know then I wouldn’t be able to go.” I take a small bite and chew slowly. “I don’t even know for how long I’m grounded.”

“How long do you think you deserve?” I shrug, if I have to be grounded for a longer time just to be able to go to her game then so be it. “If I let you go you’ll be-”

“I know but I just want to go, please?” I beg her.

“Alright you can go but when you come home there will be rules for the time you’ll be grounded.” I swiftly get up and start kissing her cheek, I couldn’t be happier.

“Thank you, thank you.” I kiss her repeatedly all over her face.

I run to my room and grab my phone off my nightstand to send a text to Vicky, I'm not entirely sure when the game starts and I want to surprise Portia by being there.

Hey, when does the game start? While I wait for her reply I go to my closet and look for what to wear. I look for my favorite hoodie then I remember the day it disappeared. Portia made it her own last time she was here, a smile forms on my face unwillingly.

It starts in about an hour, we are about to begin our warm up. Aren't you supposed to be here? Cheering for your girlfriend?

I got grounded otherwise I'd be there since before your warm up, will you make me a favor? I know she won't say no but I always ask her, I don't want to sound pushy.

I need details, what did you do? I roll my eyes, she's too nosey. Of course, anything for my dear friend. ;) I chuckle, there's probably something she wants in exchange.

You're too nosey, I'll tell you later. Will you get Portia to meet me behind the bleachers after your warm up?

Don't forget. Oh you naughty girl... I blush at her comment, she has a very dirty mind. Should I blindfold her?

Stop it with your dirty mind... I just want to surprise her, yeah just don't use one of your dirty socks on her.

Or what? Again I roll my eyes, she always tests my patience. I know you're rolling your eyes but I'll get her there just do it quick okay? ;) I groan as I read her text, if I was there I'd kick her butt.

Oh shut up, you're annoying did you know that?

Love you too, gotta go. See you. I throw my phone on my bed as I change into some grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Before I put my shoes on I go look for mama and to ask her if she can take me to the game.

----------------------------

I'm waiting. I type to Vicky with my shaking fingers, for some reason I'm very nervous as I stand behind the bleachers leaning against a pole. I stuff my hands in my pockets and take a deep breath.

"Why do I have to cover my eyes?" I hear Portia complain about being blindfolded, a smile spreads across my face when I hear her voice.

"It's a surprise, you'll love me after this." I try to hold my laugh at Vicky's her words, there's a shuffle of feet making their way towards me.

"Vicky where are we?" Portia extends her arms in front of her as a precaution. "Vicky?" They stop a few steps before me and she walks away quietly leaving Portia confused.

I carefully stand in front of her and lean in to kiss her lips, she pulls away instantly not knowing who is kissing her. I try again, this time I cup her face and caress her chin with my thumb, she lets me kiss her ever so lightly.

I deepen the kiss teasing her bottom lip with my tongue, she lets me in and our tongues dance together. My hand moves to the back of her neck holding her in place, she softly bites on my upper lip causing me to moan into her mouth.

Her left hand tugs at my shirt urging me to come closer to her until our bodies are flush against each other. I could feel her smile into the kiss as she sneaked her hand under my shirt drawing small circles on my hip.

I peck her lips one more time before I pull back for air. She rests her forehead against mine and we hold each other for a few seconds.

"I love you." She whispers. I take a step back to look at her and I chuckle. "What's so funny?" Her hands search for mine.

"You're still blindfolded baby." I untie the piece of some kind of cloth and throw it somewhere to the side. "Hi." I kiss her nose.

"You came." She throws her arms around my neck nearly choking me. I pick her up by her waist holding her tight in my arms.

"Of course I did, I promised." Her legs go around my hips as I loosen my grip a little bit.

"You're the best baby." She runs her fingers through my short hair messing it up or fixing it, I'm not sure. "Now you look hot." Her index finger traces my jaw until it reaches my lip. "That's a nice lip you have there." She bites her own.

"You're just biased."

"I know." She winks at me and takes my glasses off. "Those eyes..." Her grey-blue eyes stare into mine. "Gorgeous eyes." I can't avoid the blush that creeps up my cheeks.

"I love you." I reach up to kiss her soft lips but she backs away teasing me. "Let me kiss you." She turns me down and I give her a pout.

"That isn't gonna work baby." She smirks, I pretend I let my grip around her waist go and that she will fall. "Hey that was mean." Her hands grip around my neck at the thought of falling.

"You didn't let me kiss you, that was mean too." I say as innocently as possible giving her my puppy dog eyes.

"But..."

"Can I kiss you now?" I tilt my head to the side. She answers my question by taking my lips in a desperate kind of kiss. Her tongue licks my lip asking to be let in, as I'm about to open to her my phone starts vibrating in my pocket.

Portia somehow, someway was able to get it out of my pocket as we continued to kiss. She pulls back and reads the text, once she finished her face turned bright red. She turns the screen around so I can read it.

El, finish her up. The game will start in five minutes. Vicky's text says. It's my turn to blush as well, I can't believe Vicky in times. She can be so unpredictable.

"I think- put me down baby." I do as she says and gently put her down. "I'll see you during half time?" I nod and she takes my hand in hers as we walk back to the field. "I love you." She pecks my lips one last time.

"Kick their ass baby, love you." I say after her and she turns around and gives me a wink. I catch a glimpse of Vicky trying to hide her mischievious grin, I make some kind of handsign as in saying ‘I’ll get you later.’ She laughs and turns to get in position, I take a seat on the bench next to the substitutes to watch the game.

Fifteen minutes into the game Vicky passed the ball to Portia and she nearly makes the first goal of the game but the goalkeeper caught it. Portia has another chance to score and I jump to my feet ready to celebrate as she comes running to me and jumps into my arms.

I spin us around a few times and put her down as the rest of the team comes to circle around us congratulating her. I manage to sneak in a peck on her lips before they run back into the field. A few minutes later the away team ties up the game. I could see the frustration in Portia’s face.

“Hey you…” I hear someone say next to me, I tense up once I recognize the voice. Rachel. “Isn’t my baby amazing?” Her voice drips with venom. I clench my jaw and try my best to ignore her, all I want is to watch Portia play.

I sit back leaning against the back of the bench and cross my arms over my chest. I could see her do the same from the corner of my eye, I didn’t want her to think I was interested in starting a conversation with her if I turned to look at her.

“Three Saturdays ago was the last game I came to see her before… you know, you broke us up.” I tighten my arms over my chest as she continues to talk. “I’m the one that was supposed to kiss her a few minutes ago, not you.” I could feel the anger vibrating all over my body.

I lean forward, elbows on my knees and my chin on my hands and take a deep breath. “I remember how much she liked when I would kiss her under her ear, her weak spot.” She sighs and I clench my jaw again, my teeth had started to hurt from the pressure.

The things she was saying were distracting me from the game, the whistle brought me back to reality as the first half ends. I’m glued to my spot and stare at my feet without a care at my surroundings. A pair of feet stop in front of mine.

I stare at the bright orange soccer boots for a few seconds, once my mind starts working again I look up their legs covered with knee-high white socks. My eyes keep wandering up to the black shorts that hang nicely around their waist and up to the black jersey. Before I make it to their face I can’t help stare at their breast as they pant trying to catch their breath.

“Like what you see?” Portia whispers as she kneels down in front of me. Her smiles takes my breath away. The way she looks at me erases whatever it was that I was upset about.

“Very.” I breath out with a smile. “Come here baby.” I pull her to sit on my leg and wrap my arms around her as she rests her head on my shoulder.

“I love you.” She mumbles, even if it’s warm I still get a shiver when she starts to kiss my neck. I am very aware of where we are so I try my best to hold in my moan as she bites and soothes her bites with her tongue.

“Port- baby stop-” I’m hushed with her lips crashing against mine. Her kiss is so needy and hot, I can’t help hold the back of her head as we kiss. My lips find their way to her jaw and down to her neck, before I know it I’m kissing her under her ear like I know she likes it. Her loud moan forces me to stop my attack.

“What-”

“Hey I didn’t know you two were into public sex.” Vicky sits on my left leg and drapes her arm over my shoulder with a wide grin, I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Vicky, you’re this close.” I show her the tiny space between my thumb and index finger but she just rolls her eyes and laughs. “I’m serious.” She stops laughing and kisses my cheek.

“You know I’m kidding come on El.” It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “It’s just too easy to tease you but I love you even if you’re an ass.” I gasp in shock, how am I the ass now.

“Look you-”

“Baby, be nice.” Portia scolds me and I feel like if I’m five years old. She winks at me before she says “I heard you’re on for a second date with James?” Vicky chokes and I can’t help laugh at her reaction.

“I… uh yeah… we umm… how about I let you too have your public sex?” My smile disappears at her last words, I glare at her and she gets up and runs away. If it wasn’t because Portia was still on me I would have tried to chase her.

“You know you love her.” Portia giggles as she wraps her hands around my neck. I can’t deny that she’s right so I don’t say anything, I just kiss her nose. “I have to go but see you at the end of the game.” I pull her back before she walks away.

“I love you, go win that game baby.” We share a five second kiss and she’s gone. I take two steps back and bump into someone, I already know who it is without turning to see her.

“I see you took my tip to heart, she moaned didn’t she?” I ball my hands into fists ready to turn and punch her damn face. I try to focus on the game, Portia is what matters not me proving something to this person.

I take a deep breath and turn to my right to find somewhere to sit. I could tell she was following me, my patience was almost gone, she was crossing the line but I can’t let her see how much effect her words have on me. I sit on the ground next to this cooler thing that keeps their waters cold and she follows suit.

“I remember that night I kissed her all over her body-” I head snaps to look at her and I’m praying she didn’t mean what I think she meant. Her grins grows as I stare at her. “Her moans were so loud that night.” I can’t tear my eyes off of her, the smug look she gives me just makes everything worse.

“She- you… and…” She nods and I feel my heart sink.

“We made love a few days before you got in between.” Portia lied to me, she lied in front of Vicky and James last weekend. “She told me she loved me so many times.” She closes her eyes and sighs as she remembers. She lied that day I gave myself to her, she said I was her first and it was all a lie. Why would she lie about it, it’s not like if I would care about it.

I slowly pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, I hide my face between my knees as tears threaten to fall at any moment. I don’t understand what’s happening, I don’t get why she lied, I don’t even know if she truly loves me.

“You just wanted to get in her pants didn’t you?” She pats the back of my head, I hit her hand away and look up with my red eyes. “I don’t blame you, my baby is too sexy.” That was the last straw for me.

I hastily get on my wobbly legs and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. I look over at Portia on the other side of the field, she smiles and blows me a kiss. When I didn’t return her kiss her smile turned to a frown, curious what was wrong she started to make her way to me.

“You know, she’s the best I’ve ever had.” My patience had ran out. I tighten my fist, I could feel my nails digging into the palm of my hand, I swing it and it lands on Rachel’s nose. “You will pay for this!” She shouts as blood drips from her nose down to her shirt.

“Fuck. You.” I see Portia running to us so I turn around and run away from all of this. I can't go home because mama will ask questions I'm not ready to answer yet.

Once I'm sure no one followed me I stop running, I lean forward to try catch my breath. It's such a stupid thing to be upset about in the first place but that Portia lied just breaks my heart.

I swallow hard against the bump in the middle of my throat and start walking with my head slumped down, and kick a small rock as hard as I can. I walk with no clear direction not really caring where I end up as long as no one finds me and I break down, tears falling down my cheeks.

Portia POV

The second half of the game had just begun when I noticed Rachel was for sure bothering Ellen. We caught each other's eyes and I blew her a kiss. I knew something was up when she didn't respond to my gesture.

I know I shouldn't walk off during a game, especially an important one but I had to know what was wrong.

“Hey where are you going?” Vicky tries to stop me but I shake her off. I see Ellen punch Rachel right on her nose. I start to run to get to her, I see Ellen look at me with pain in her eyes before she runs away. I'm at a loss of what to do, I want to go after her but I know I'll get in trouble if I do.

I hesitate for a few seconds, she's more important than a simple soccer game. With my decision made I start to run after her but Coach Smith stops me.

“The game hasn't ended yet-” I try to get past him without success and I give up. I huff as I get back into the game completely distracted. Vicky kept giving me weird looks, I didn't want to worry her about her best friend so I kept my mouth shut.

As unfocused as I was I still managed to make the winning goal, once the whistle went off I ran back into the locker room to get my things, I have to know where Ellen is and if she's okay.

“Portia, what's wrong?” Vicky blocks the exit holding me by my arms. “Where's Ellen?” I need to think quick of a believable excuse.

“She- her mom- she went home.” I kick myself mentally for stuttering.

“Is she ok?” In her eyes I could see how worried she was for Ellen, a white lie can't hurt anyone. Right?

“Yeah, I told her I would come over after the game.”

“You want a ride then?” I smile and nod, as we make our way to her mom waiting for her my mind is elsewhere. For Ellen to punch anyone, doesn't matter who, there must be a very good reason for that. I'm getting ahead of myself and the worst things come to me.

“Thanks, I owe you one.” I hug her before I walk apprehensively towards Ellen's front door. I take two big deep breaths and ring the doorbell.

“Portia, honey so glad to see you.” Ellen's mom greets me and right away I can tell she's not home. “Come on in, Ellen is not here but-” She looks behind me somewhat curious as to why I came when Ellen was supposed to be with me. “Wasn't she with you?” Her brow furrows.

“Yeah she was but…” I don't want her to get in more trouble than she already is. “We agreed we would meet here after the game.” I feel awful for lying to her, I hate lying to anyone.

“Well make yourself at home, you can wait in her room if you want.” She smiles politely before walking back into the kitchen. I take her word and make my way to her room.

I place my duffle bag against the wall and take my shoes off placing them next to my bag. Her room is a bit messy but clean compared to mine. I sit down on the edge of her bed and look around her room, carefully taking in the feeling of being in her private space.

The wall behind her bed is covered in posters of bands that I've never heard of. There's a few picture frames on her dresser with her and her family. I walk up to them taking one where her brother is tickling her, I can't help giggle at her smiling face.

I sigh and walk back to her neatly made bed, I jump landing face first against her pillow. I grab it and hold it in my arms as her sweet scent still lingers on it. I hope she comes home soon, I miss her already.

Baby, where are you? I send to her after almost an hour has passed of me waiting for her in her room.

I have really started to worry that something has happened to her, that she could be hurt and I'm not there with her. I wait a few minutes to give her a chance to answer me, I'm starting to pace up and down her room at how nervous I am getting.

Why won't you answer me? I'm really worried, please… just tell me you're ok. I didn't realize I had started to cry when a tear falls onto the screen of my phone. I lay back on her bed and wrap my arms tightly around her pillow, seeking for some kind of comfort.

I'm ok. Reads her text. I start to sob into her pillow at her simple response, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what did I do for her to be upset.

I had started to drift off when the door opens revealing a puffy-red-eyed Ellen. I swiftly get up, ignoring the dizziness of the sudden movement, and run into her arms.

My own go tightly around her as hers just dangle by her sides. I pull back slightly taking her face in my hands and rest my forehead against hers, nose to nose. She avoids my eyes and looks down between us.

“I was so worried baby-” I kiss her all over her face but she stands there cold as a stone. “Ellen, what's wrong?”

“I thought you had left.” My heart breaks at her words. Her voice is just as cold as the rest of her. I hesitate but I let go my hold on her face and drop my hands to my sides.

“You knew I was here?” She nods.

“I saw Vicky dropping you off and I left.” Her blue eyes look at me for a brief second before falling down between us again. “I made sure to give you enough time to leave.” She stuffs her hands in her pockets, her words hurt deep down in my heart.

“You- you didn't want to see me?” My voice cracks. She shakes her head still avoiding my eyes. "Why- what did I do?” I takes all of me to not break down in front of her.

“Nothing.” She simply says.

“It can't be nothing, tell me what did I do?!” I yell at her as I grab her shirt with my fist, she just stands there. She doesn't even flinch when I hit her chest softly, careful not to hurt her.

“It's nothing.”

“Why you didn't want to see me?”

“Because…”

“Stop doing that- just please tell me.” A lone tear falls down my cheek as I beg her.

“I got what I wanted.” Her words throw me off for a second, I'm very confused. She gives a strange smile and goes to lay on her bed.

“What-” I squint my eyes and walk up next to her bed. “What did you wanted?” I cross my arms over my chest as I stare at her.

“Get you in my bed, I achieved it. I won the bet.” The room falls silent as soon as the words leave her lips. I feel as if I've been shot straight through my heart. Still part of me doesn't want to believe her.

“You're lying. You're a horrible liar Ellen.”

“And you must be good at it right?” She finally looks me in the eye. I took a step back and stared at her, utterly confused.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” She shrugs. I could feel my face hot with anger.

“What bet did you make?” I try my best at keeping my voice stern. She looks up to the ceiling with another strange smile forming on her lips.

“Just a bet I had with some guy.” She mutters as she gets up and walks to her closet, she starts to get undressed in front of me before she looks through the closet. “I'm going to shower.” She disappears through the extra door in her room.

I wobble my way back to her bed to wait for her. I'm not going to leave until we clear this up. She is certainly lying, I can tell from her body language I just don't know what reason there is for it.

She got upset during the soccer game which was when Rachel was bothering her. As I think back to during the game she was following Ellen around as soon as the second half began. Ellen would never hit anyone, as much as Rachel deserved it she still wouldn't have done it for nothing.

I start to drift off for a second time when I hear a door open and close. I lift my head slightly to find Ellen in her underwear drying her short hair with a towel. I have to look away at the sight I have before me and not let my eyes wander around her amazing body. A certain spot has reacted rather wrong at the wrong time.

I take a peek from under my arm and can’t help stare at her ass as she bends over to look for something in her drawer. I instantly start to feel the throb between my legs, I bury my face into her pillow and curse under my breath at the effect she has on me.

“Are you not going to go home?” She asks still in that cold voice that sends shivers down my back. I ignore her, I keep my face buried in her pillow. That is until I feel her presence next to me. “So?” I could feel her eyes burning into my head.

“Do- you want me to leave?” I force my tears to stay at bay as I lift my head to look at her. I could tell she had been crying in the bathroom, her eyes were puffy and red.

She nods. She can’t bring herself to say that one word. She can’t look me in the eye, she fidgets with her fingers as I stare at her, waiting for a single word to leave her lips. We catch each other’s eyes and I raise my eyebrows repeating my question in silence.

“Yes… I- can you leave?” Her voice shakes but is still cold towards me. My anger rises rather quickly, I get off her bed and walk towards the door grabbing my stuff before slamming the door shut.

I fall down against the door wrapping my arms around my knees and start to sob. I completely forgot where I was, I can’t let Ellen’s mom see me like this or worse, find me like this.

I hesitate for a moment, if I stay where I am and risk being found Betty will ask so many questions. She will think Ellen did something to hurt me and I can’t let that happen. I hastily wipe my eyes dry and get on my feet.

“Already leaving?” I hear from the living room as I walk by. I force a smile and turn to her.

“Yes, soccer got me tired today.”

“I’m sure you did great honey, come here.” She pats the empty space next to her prompting me to join her. My heart warms with affection towards her, she’s very sweet.

“Thank you.”

“You know, I’m glad my baby found you.” Her right arm pulls me into her for a hug. Tears threaten to fall at her words, she can’t know what’s going on between her daughter and me. “I have never seen her this happy before.” She sighs.

“I’m glad I found her, she’s my everything.” I let my head rest against her shoulder, and wonder if we'll get through this little rough patch. I can’t possibly let her go, I feel she’s the one. She’s the one I want to spend my life with.

“From now on I’ll consider you my second daughter.” Betty kisses the top of my head and it takes everything to not break down in front of her. “You can call me mama, you know. If you want.” A genuine smile forms on my lips for the first time since that soccer game.

“I’ll consider you my second mama.” I reach up to kiss her cheek softly, wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace. She chuckles as I kiss her cheek again.

“Do you need a ride home?”

“No I don’t want to intrude, I’ll just call a friend.” She furrows her brow skeptically at me, I pull my phone out and call James and ask him if he can come pick me up. “Happy?”

“I just want you to be save sweety nothing else.” James said he was just five minutes away from Ellen’s home so I get up ready to wait for him by the driveway.

“I’ll see you soon, mama.” I doesn’t feel weird, strange or odd to call her that. It feels right for some reason. She smiles pulling into her arms again, she kisses my head and I kiss her cheek before I walk down the driveway as James pulls up. I wave to mama as we drive away.

Chapter 21

A grunt leaves my lips as open my eyes slightly to look at the digital clock on my nightstand. 10:43. I wasn't able to fall asleep until past midnight, at least that's the last time I remember before I was dead to the world.

Subconsciously I take my phone from under my pillow and start typing out a text to Ellen when all of the sudden the memories of yesterday come flooding in.

She didn't want to see me. She didn't want me to be there. She lied to me. She pushed me away without explaining anything to me. She broke my heart.

My eyes fill with tears and fall down the side of my face as I finally let myself crumble down since I left Ellen's house. I grab my pillow holding onto it while I sob uncontrollably.

As angry as I know I should be, I am not at all. I'm sure Rachel has something to do with all of this, she must've told Ellen something for her to be like that with me.

Can you come over after lunch? I send to James. I need someone to talk to, someone to hold me and tell me everything will be ok.

Yeah of course, what's wrong? I smile. Even through a simple text he can tell when something is up.

I'll tell you later.

I swear if Ellen... I'm going to kill her.

You will do no such thing. I hit send before I re-think about what I said. I didn't deny she has nothing to do with this, now he will think the worse.

So she did do something, I'm coming over now.

No James she-

"Portia James is here!" I hear mom say before I can finish typing the text. I hesitate to walk downstairs, I didn't want him to come this early or interrupt if he was busy at the moment.

"No thank you." He tells mom as I land on the last step, I'm assuming she asked if he would like something to drink and the sorts.

"There she is." Mom motions towards me and walks away with a smile on her face. Right when she's out of hearing reach he walks towards me pulling me with him back to my room, defeated I comply.

"What did she do?" He blurts out before the door is even closes behind us. His back is against the wall next to the door with his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm waiting." He raises his eyebrows.

"She- Nothing, she didn't do anything." I look down at my hands on my lap. He knows I'm covering up for her but I also don't want him to think wrong about her.

"Why have you been crying then?" I shrug. How can he even know I've been crying, I wiped my eyes before I walked downstairs. "Why are you're eyes red then?" Oh no.

"Just- you know..."

"No I don't so why don't you tell me?" He pushes. I'm the worst at coming up with excuses that are somewhat believable.

"Allergic reaction." He huffs and rolls his eyes. "Really." I look up to him trying my best for him to believe me.

"Since when are we friends? Five, six, right?" I nod and gulp. "Don't you think I know when you lie? When something is wrong? When your feelings are hurt?" I let my head fall because he’s right.

James has always been by my side, looking after me like a brother would. He took the place of my brother Michael, since he lives with dad we haven’t really seen each other. I love James like if he’s really my brother, I know he cares a lot about me. He can see right through me.

A tear falls down my cheek and he runs to me taking me in his arms. “Oh Port… it’ll be ok.” His thumb wipes my tears away, I can’t help smile at his action. He rocks us both until my tears subside, or until I’m able to speak without breaking down.

Five minutes later I let out a chuckle for no reason. Probably because it’s silly of me to cry for nothing. “I’m sorry I ruined your shirt.” I sit up and wipe my eyes.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" He takes my hands in his, I avoid his eyes, I feel if I look into them I'll start crying again.

"Nothing is wrong... just-"

"You don't have to tell me Portia, I just want to help out." A smile forms on my lips, I guess I don't lose anything by telling him.

"Ellen... she- Rachel..."

"Ellen and Rachel? Portia what's going on?"

"I think Rachel told Ellen things and she doesn't want to see me anymore." I try to say as fast as possible, I really don't want to get into a conversation about Rachel.

"Rachel broke you two up?" I shake my head. "What did she do?" I start to twiddle with the laces of my sweatpants. I don't even know what did she do but I'm sure she did something.

"I don't actually know." He looks at me skeptically. "Ellen got upset during the game and Rachel was bothering her, I am sure of that."

"Well do you know why?"

"To break us up of course, what do you think she has been trying to do since we became a couple?" I didn't mean to get aggravated and snap at him, everything is just getting to me today.

"Hey I'm just trying to help, I didn't know she wanted to do that." His hands go up in front of him in defeat and takes a deep breath. "You need to ask Ellen what Rachel told her."

"She didn't let me, she told me to leave." My eyes fall to my hands and I feel my eyes welling up again. James notices and he raises my head with his finger under my chin.

"She didn't let you talk?" I shake my head. "What did she say then?" I take a deep breath, I don't want to think about what she told me. Not now not ever.

"Umm... I'm sure it's not true but she said she had a bet with some guy at school..."

"What bet?" His brow furrows and his lips purse. I hesitate to tell him, I don't want to believe it's true. "Portia?" I sigh.

"She bet she could get me to sleep with her." My hands cover my face, it's not every day you tell your best friend you slept with your girlfriend, it's very embarrassing. Through my fingers I see his chest rise and his fists ball up.

"What the fuck?" He's livid, I had never seen him this angry before. "Who the hell she thinks she is?" He almost shouts.

"Ellen wouldn't-"

"I'm going to kick her ass." My eyes widened in shock, I hope he isn't serious about that. "I'm going to show her you have someone to defend you. She doesn't deserve you."

"James no, she would never do that." He glares at me in disbelief. "Are you seriously defending her right now?"

"I'll always defend her, I love her." I can't help the tears that fall, I can't help the love I feel for her, I can't help falling more for her.

"No don't cry, it's not worth it." Again he wipes the tears with his thumb giving me a warm smile. "Come here." He engulfs me in a tight embrace as I continue to cry into his chest.

"I think I'm done." I giggle wiping my eyes and sit up. "Can we umm... do something else? You know to distract me..."

"Of course, let's go shopping." He offers and I raise my eyebrows questioningly, he hates to go shopping. "What? You love to shop, maybe it'll make you feel better." I throw my arms around him. "Okay enough hugging for today." I laugh and he joins me soon after.

----------------------------

“Are you done yet?” James whines as we walk out of the fourth store with a few bags with my purchases. I hand him one more bag, he huffs and I laugh at his reactions.

“It was your idea, remember?” I tease him.

“I did not think we would still be here two hours later.” We round the corner into another clothing store and he groans. “Let’s take a break at least.” He suggests.

“Alright, alright.” I turn around and walk out of the store. “Crybaby.” I say under my breath.

“Hey I heard that and I’m not a crybaby.”

“You’re whining like a baby, so you are one.” He sulks and pouts, just like a baby. “See? Such a baby.” I laugh.

“You’re laughing at least.” His arm goes around my shoulder pulling me into him to kiss my head. “Come on, I’m starving.” We walk towards the food court, I'll let him choose what we will eat this time.

“Well?” I turn to him expectantly. “You go buy food, I wait here.” I take the bags from him and sit on a bench as he goes to buy our food. Five minutes later he comes back with two hotdogs.

“Here you go.” He sits next to me and we eat in silence, now I wish he had bought a water or something to drink. As I get up to go to the vending machine I catch a glimpse of a blonde head I know very well and I tense up. Ellen and her mama were walking towards us.

“She's here…” I whisper to James, I start to take the bags and he stops me when all I want is to get out of here before they see us.

“She who?” He looks at me confused, a second later he realizes who it is I'm talking about. “Ellen. She and I have something to talk about. I'm staying here.” His arms cross over his chest as he sits back to wait.

“Don't be stupid come on…”

“Portia, honey it's so nice to see you.” Betty pulls me into a hug. I look at Ellen over her shoulder and she avoids looking at me.

"Hi mama." She smiles. I turn back to James and he has this death gaze upon Ellen, I nudge his arm to get his attention. "I'm not sure you've met but this is James, my best friend." I point at him.

"Mrs. Degeneres, nice to meet you." He politely says to her, he can be nice and polite when he wants to.

"That makes me feel old, call me Betty." She gives him a smile and he returns it. "Ellen, honey..." Betty looks to her right expecting to find Ellen but no one was there. "Portia do you know what's wrong with her? She's awfully quiet today." The concerned look she has breaks my heart.

"No I don't-" I could feel James's eyes burning into me. "She won't tell me anything." He let out a heavy breath, clearly annoyed.

"Well..." Betty hugs me again. "I need to go find my baby." I nod understanding and kiss her cheek goodbye. "See you soon, I hope." She winks at me as she walks away.

"Why did you just lie?" James blurts out.

"I didn't lie." Ellen's mom probably should know what's going on but I don't want to burden anyone with this. "Technically I didn't." He scoffs and starts to walk away too. I pick up my pace to catch up.

"She didn't say hi."

"I know..."

"She didn't even look at you."

"I know..."

"All she did was walk away."

"I know James, I know." I snap at him. "I'm sorry, this is just..."

"Don't worry about it, it's ok." His arm goes around my shoulders similar to how we were a few minutes ago and kisses the side of my head. "I didn't know she could be that much of an ass." I hit his ribs with my elbow and he hisses.

"She's hurt, she has the right to be like that." I sigh, there I go again defending her.

"Seriously?" I nod keeping my eyes straight ahead. "Port... you can't let her treat you like that."

"Ellen- she's not treating me in any way." He opens his mouth to say something but I interrupt him. "Let's go home, ok?" I start towards the exit and he follows suit, mouth shut until we find his car.

James puts the bags in the backseat then gets behind the steering wheel. I take a deep breath and get in the passenger seat next to him. "Are you ok?" He asks quietly, I nod not trusting my voice won't break if I speak.

Our shopping trip was nice, it took things out of my head until we bumped into Ellen and her mom. I'm disappointed she walked away just like that. I'm dying to talk to her, to see her blue eyes in front of me looking back into mine. I miss her touch, her lips. I miss her.

I miss you. I love you. I type on my phone and hesitate whether or not to send it to her. We are still a couple, she didn’t dump me, she’s still my girlfriend but I’m afraid she will ignore me. I can't help the sob that escapes me or the tear that falls down my face. I quickly wipe it away hoping James didn't hear me through the music playing.

"What did we say about crying?" He pulls over and somehow manages to get his arms around me over the console. "Look at me Port." I hesitate but do as he says seconds later. He delicately wipes my eyes with his thumb giving me a warm smile.

"Thank you." I wrap my own around him and kiss his cheek.

"How do you do that?"

"How do I do what?" I ask confused.

"My ugly brown eyes still look ugly compared to your grey-blue ones that are red and puffy." He frowns as he keeps looking into mine. I chuckle at his randomness

"You're silly, I like your ugly brown eyes. They are cute." I wink at him and his frown turns into a smile. "Home?" He nods and we're off towards my house.

"Alright, go try all that clothes you bought while I go somewhere and I'll come back later to check on you." I pout, I don't want him to leave.

"Where are you going?" I ask curious.

"Uh mom- she had a few errands for me." He stutters and I squint my eyes, his hiding something I'm sure. "I'll see you later." I nod taking the bags with me and he speeds off.

----------------------------

Ellen POV

I pace around my room waiting for Vicky to get here, I need to tell her what's going on before the stupid lie I told Portia goes around and she thinks the worse of me.

The least I expected to happen was to find Portia and James at the mall. I wanted to hug her and say sorry a million times but something stopped me. James could have killed me by just the way he was looking at me, Portia probably told him and he must be pissed at me, I don’t blame him.

"Honey, Vicky is here!" Mama shouts breaking my train of thought. I run to Vicky pulling her into my room unexpectedly.

"What's wrong with you?" She plops down on my bed waiting patiently. I don't know how to begin, I'm not sure how to word all of this and neither do I want to think about what Rachel told me. Suddenly the door opens revealing a very upset James.

“Why did you do that to Portia?” I’m surprised by how serene and calm his voice is. “Dammit Ellen, she loves you. You didn’t have to use her!” He yelps placing his hands on his head. I am at a loss of words, his own hit me hard deep inside.

“James I-”

“Shut up Ellen,” he snaps at me. “Portia is like a sister to me, it hurts to see her cry. I feel useless I can’t protect her from the one person she truly loves. Fuck-” He groans taking a deep breath. “I never thought you could be such an ass.” He walks up to me and I feel I’ll get a punch any minute.

“Hey!” Vicky gets between us as if shielding me from him. “You. Don’t. Talk. To. Her. Like. That.” She pokes his chest emphasizing each word until his back hits the wall.

“Vicky…” He sighs. “This has nothing to do with you. Move.” She stands her ground and James holds her shoulders to move her to the side, but she doesn’t budge.

“This is my business as much as it’s yours. You’re looking out for your best friend, well I’m for mine.” Vicky crosses her arms over her chest as they stare at each other. I lay on my bed facing the wall and start to sob, that Portia is crying because of me hurts so much. How much I wish Rachel wouldn’t have told me anything.

“Fair enough.” I hear James say quietly. “This isn’t over yet Ellen.” I could feel his eyes on me.

“Get out.” Vicky orders. I hear the door open and close, the room feels awfully quiet now. “Will you tell me what’s going on?” She sits next to me placing her hand on my leg. I shake my head and she sighs laying behind me and pulling me into her arms. “I’m not leaving until you talk.” Her grip tightens around my stomach.

Not sure how much time had passed I thought she had fallen asleep, her breathing was slow and even. I slowly turn around to face her and find her eyes closed. I take a deep breath and snuggle closer to her, I wish it were Portia I was snuggling up to.

“I’m still waiting.” She reminded me.

I don’t want to bring up the fact that Portia and I slept together, Vicky will never let that one go, but on the other hand to explain I have to bring it up. “She lied to me.” I bite my lower lip thinking what else to say. “Portia she lied…”

“About what?”

“ThatIwasherfirstwhenshehadalreadybeenwithRachel.”

“What? I didn’t get anything, talk slow.” I sit up and lean against the wall with my legs crossed under me taking a deep breath.

“That I was her first when she had already been with Rachel.” I hide my face behind my hands, it’s quite an embarrassing subject.

“What does Rachel have anything to do here?”

“Yesterday, during the soccer game she was telling me things.”

“What things?” I throw my head back against the wall, I really don’t want to go into details.

“Portia and I you know… and she was my first, she told me I was too.” She better not ask what I mean, that she will have figure it out alone. “Rachel yesterday told me they were together one time before they broke up.”

“Ellen-”

“She told me Portia told her she loved her while they...” I let my hands fall on my lap and look at her with tears in my eyes. “Portia told me she never felt love for Rachel, she had said during our truth or dare game she hadn’t been with no one. Remember?” She nods.

“Listen-”

“I know it’s a stupid reason to be this upset… I’m sorry.”

“Will you shut up and let me talk?” Vicky sits in front of me and takes my hands in hers. “I think it’s a big deal, I mean being with someone for the first time should mean a lot. It’s not something you forget from one day to another more so if you love them.” I look down at my hands waiting for her to continue. “The fact that she lied is messed up, she didn’t have to lie, especially not while you two were...you know.”

“It’s not?” I ask shyly.

“Of course not El. Come here.” I let her pull me for a tight hug as my tears finally stop. “Why was James saying you didn’t have to use Portia?” She asks carefully and guilt was the first thing I felt. “What did you lie about?”

“A misunderstanding…”

“You know you’re a horrible liar right?” I gasp in shock and she tilts her head. “You know it’s true so don’t give me that look.” Both Portia and Vicky are right, I don’t know how to lie.

“I said- I told her I made a bet with some guy that I could get her in my bed…” I’m ashamed I said that to her but I was hurt and I really didn’t want to see her. Now I regret it.

“Oh Ellen… why in the world would you say that.”

“Because she lied to me and I wanted her to feel what I felt at that moment.” I am still hurt and I don’t know how am I going to avoid her the whole week at school.

“But El…” Vicky sighs, I know I did wrong she knows I regret it. “Why you two don’t just make up?”

I think about that for a second, I do miss her, a whole lot but why did she have to lie to me. She could’ve been honest since that Saturday instead of saying ‘it almost did happen.’ I’m so confused, I still doubt she loves me like she said she did that night.

“That’s not going to happen, not until she tells me why she lied.”

“You’re very stubborn, did you know that?” She chuckles and a smile appears on my lips. “You didn’t dump her did you?” I shake my head. “At least there’s that.”

“At least there’s what?” I ask confused.

“I know you two will work something out, I’ll kick her ass for lying to you though.” I hit her shoulder softly, she would never do such thing. “Hey that hurt.” She pouts.

“You will kick no one’s ass, if you touch Portia I will kick your ass.” Vicky gasps in shock, I can’t stand the thought of someone hurting Portia.

“Hmm so you still love her. Nice.” I hear my phone’s vibration on my nightstand and I pull back from Vicky to see who decided to bother me. “Who is it?” She asks before I even open up the message.

“Hold on.” I hold my finger up as I start to read.

You want proof that I wasn’t lying? It says and I furrow my eyebrows, this text looks sketchy, I don’t even know who’s number this is.

Who are you?

You want proof or not? They ask again, I’m still confused I don’t know what proof they are talking about.

Proof about what? ‘What an interesting conversation’ I thought to myself.

Read carefully the text in the picture. I scroll through the conversation for a picture but find none, a second later it appears as a new text. It was all true, see? ;)

“Hey that’s Rachel’s number.” Vicky speaks up from beside me, I didn’t even notice her sitting there.

“How did she get mine?” She shrugs and I ponder on who could have given it to her. “Portia couldn’t have… right?” I say softly hoping she didn’t.

“Of course not, Rachel has her ways.” She takes my phone and starts reading through the texts, her eyes go wide open and I try to take it back to see what she read.

“Give it back Vicky.” She shakes her head hiding it behind her. “Victoria…” I glare at her. Hesitantly she hands it back to me and I start to read that conversation on the screenshot.

P - Last night was great baby

R - We should do that again… soon ;)

P - I’m happy you were my first…

R - You were mine too, I love you Portia

P - I love you too Rachel

I let the phone fall between my hands onto the bed as I stare blankly at them. Secretly I was hoping all of this was something made up by Rachel in attempts to break us up. Now I just wish the floor would swallow me so I could disappear from this nightmare. Rachel didn’t lie after all.

My lower lip quivers and I know tears will start falling at any given moment. My heart is broken, the perfect world I thought I had with Portia is gone, everything has been destroyed.

Chapter 22

“I love you.” Portia murmurs as her lips close around my pulse point and nibble, probably forming a hickey. My hands roam behind her, tracing her spine with the tips on my fingers and sliding down to her butt. Her lips lower down to the base of my neck, her warm tongue licking up to my chin.

“Portia-” I moan as her hand creeps under me and unclasps my bra in one swift motion. My back arches as her mouth closes on my nipple. Her right hand sneaks into my underwear, she groans at the wetness her fingers find.

“I want you.” She pants against my chest and she looks up to me, silently asking if she can continue. A nod is all she needs as two fingers slide into me, I claw at the sheets as she slowly starts to move.

I pull her face up to meet with mine, we look into each other’s eyes and I mumble an ‘I love you’ to her as I close the gap between our lips. Every breath she took was mine, I close my eyes shut and throw my head back when her fingers hit that spot that feels like heaven.

Portia’s face nuzzles into my neck nibbling and then biting and soothing it with her soft tongue. “Rachel…” She moans under my ear and my eyes fly open at that name.

My whole body is shaking as I curl up in a fetal position, I feel so broken inside. Portia couldn’t have done this to me, this isn’t even a reasonable thing to be upset about. By all I know Rachel could have easily just made everything up, that is what my heart is telling me but my brain is telling me otherwise.

I lay there and stare into the darkness of my room until my alarm goes off, I press the snooze button and bury my face into the pillow. Ten minutes later it goes off again, I let it ring for a minute or two and then there’s a knock on my door.

“Ellen?” Mama whispers, I could barely make out her voice through the alarm sound. The door opens and closes a second later, my bed shifts as she sits next to me.

“Hmm.” I hum, face still buried into my pillow. Her hand softly rubs my back in a comforting way that eases me whenever she does it. I want her to hold me like when I was a kid and thunder would scare me.

“What’s wrong baby?” She murmurs and I feel my eyes swell with tears. I feel my bed shift again, an arm wrapping around my stomach and I’m pulled into a tight embrace. I swiftly turn in her arms and snuggle into her chest, her hand softly caresses my head as I sniffle. “Want to talk about it?” I shake my head, mama starts to hum little nothings into my ear, just like when I was a kid.

I open my eyes realizing I fell asleep to find mama laying here with me, her arms still around me to keep me safe. She looks down at me and kisses my forehead. “I love you, thank you.” I say softly.

“I love you honey.” I smile at the warm feeling I feel in my heart. I'm so lucky she's my mama.

“As much as I would like to hold you for the rest of the day, I can't do that darling. We have to get you to school.” I groan, I don't want to get out of her arms.

“I don't want to go.” I mumble and tighten my arms around her.

“How about I take you out early and we go for that ice cream you love?” I huff, now she's trying to bribe me.

“But mama…” I start to whine. “I wanna stay here, with you and it's not nice to bribe me either.” Her laugh brings a smile to my face.

“So you don't want the ice cream?” I could hear the teasing in her voice. “It’s your favorite…” Her offer is really tempting me.

“Fine, but I want two of them.” She chuckles as she lets go of me and I start to get ready for this long day at school. I throw on an oversized hoodie and some sweatpants, I want to be comfy even if I'll be at school.

“Ready baby?” She's standing outside my room ready to drop me off at school. How did she get ready in five minutes, I will never know.

“Mama… please let me stay home with you…” I try to beg her as she pulls up behind the line of cars dropping off kids. “I'll behave, I promise.” It's not like I'm allowed to go anywhere, I'm grounded after all.

“Ellen…” She starts with that stern voice she uses when I'm in trouble. “I'll come during your last class, I promise.” I slump my head defeated.

“Okay…”

“I love you.” She kisses the side of my head. I grab my backpack, throw it over my shoulder and open the door. “See you later honey.” I nod as I climb out of the car.

“Love you.” I say before I close the door and start walking towards the front doors. I'm dreading the moment Portia and I bump into each other.

The quietest place in this school is probably the library. I don't want to see or talk to anyone, I just want to be left alone with my thoughts. I pull my hood over my head and lower my gaze to the floor as I make my way to the library.

I walk to the corner where it's nearly impossible to be seen or bothered by any annoying students who can't keep quiet. I throw my backpack on the table and fall into a chair, immediately putting my head down on my arm.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I rethink if it's worth checking the text or leaving until later. I'm secretly hoping it's a text from Portia and if it is I shouldn't ignore it just like that so I take it out.

Hey El, where are you? My heart sinks as I read a text from Vicky but at the same time warms a little, I could honestly use her company right now.

Library. I hit send and stuff it back in my pocket. I place my head on the table again as I wait for Vicky to get here. Minutes later I feel a hand slide from my shoulder to my covered head pulling down my hoodie.

“What's wrong?” She asks concerned. She rustles my hair a little, she knows I hate when she does it but today I don't feel like giving her a glare or even scold her. “El?” Vicky pulls a chair next to me and sits on it pulling mine to face her.

“Nothing.”

“Hmm yeah I'm not buying it.” Her arms cross over her chest as she leans back into the chair and stares at me. “Will you tell me or will I have to get it out of you?”

“But it's nothing.” I repeat.

“Come.” She stands up stretching her hand for me to take, I'm in no mood for whatever she is planning to do. “We will sit on the floor, come on.” I take her hand and she pulls me down behind the table we were sitting at next to a bookshelf.

“Why are we on the floor?”

“Will you tell me what's wrong?” I take a deep breath and shake my head, I don't want to ruin her day as well. “Okay.” She nods and silence falls between us.

My mouth opens and I'm about to speak but I have a change of mind and close it. I do this probably a couple of times and give up.

“You don't have to tell me El, it's ok.” I lean back against the wall and look up to the ceiling. “I'll always be here even if you don't want to talk.” She pats my knee. I don't hesitate and I rest my head on her shoulder.

“It's all too much.” My voice cracks and her hand moves to around my shoulder. “It hurts a lot.” Vicky read those messages, she knows what I'm talking about.

“Come here.” She holds me as I try my best to keep my tears at bay, nothing worse than crying at school and someone catching you. “You know, I love you and I hate seeing you like this Ellen. I hurt when you hurt.” Her hand rubs my arm comfortably.

“I'm sorry Vicky, it's just-” I sniffle and hide my face behind my hands. “I miss Portia, I really do love her.” She pulls my hands away to give me a heartfelt hug.

“Then don't push her away you idiot. Talk to her and-”

“No- She lied when she didn't have to, all she needed to do is be honest with me.”

“Dammit Ellen, you will lose her because of your stubbornness.”

“Vicky, I feel used. I feel she used me to get rid of Rachel. I feel broken here-” I point to the left side of my chest. “She never loved me and I gave her all of me, I feel empty.” I brake down and sob into her chest as she holds me.

“I'm sorry Ellen.” She kisses my head and continues to hold me until my tears subside. “Let's go for a walk, maybe it helps a little. Come on.” Vicky pulls me up and takes both of our backpacks. “Give me a smile.” I turn to her confused, can she not ever be serious.

“What?”

“A smile, come on let me see that white smile of yours.” She keeps telling me, mischief in her eyes.

“You're crazy.”

“No come on, smile. Like this-” She flashes me her biggest goofy smile and I can't help the smile on my lips. “Ha! There it is.” Vicky is such a dork in times.

“Oh stop it.” I nudge her arm.

“This way, class starts in ten minutes so let's take the long way.” I follow her through the slightly crowded hallways. “I hate school, when will this torture finish…” She whines as she places her arm over my shoulder.

“It's our last year at least.” Vicky hums. “Are you getting into college?” I haven't even given that a thought.

“Yeah but I'm still not sure what I want to study.” I nod in understanding. “You?” She pulls me closer as we keep walking.

“You'll figure it out, yeah probably something where I can draw but I don't know-”

“Umm hi-” Vicky says stopping abruptly. I kept my gaze glued to the floor as she guided me through the hallways. I look up to see who she's saying hi to. “...Rachel.”

“Hello Victoria.” I flinch at the tone of her voice. “Hi you…” She looks me up and down settling with a smirk on her lips once she stops eyeing me. The area around her nose is swollen and different shades of purple with a splint over the bridge of her nose. Looks like someone punched her and broke her nose. I gasp and snort as I remember I'm the one who punched her. “What's so funny?” She spits out.

“Nice bruise.” The fury in her eyes makes me almost want to take that back but I stand my ground, I can't let her intimidate me that easy. “No way Portia will let that near her…” I say under my breath.

“You're just upset I fucked your girlfriend before you did.” She snarls. That is not true, I’m upset she lied about it. I could care less who she has been with or if I was her first or not.

“Why don't you shut up?” she laughs out loud, mocking me.

“You read our texts didn't you?” My gaze falls back to the floor, I didn't want to show any weakness in front of her but I failed. “Did you really think I would lie about it?” Vicky had gone quiet, almost as if she had disappeared yet she was right by my side.

“You know what?” I mumble. “You were right, you win. I done.”

“Ellen what- don't do this. You can't let her go just like that.” Vicky chimes in and turns me by my shoulders to face her. “You can't let this-” She points at Rachel. “Get between you guys. You were made for one another and-”

“Let the girl speak Victoria.” She cuts her off irritated.

“You shut the hell up, you need to grow up and stop bothering both of them.” Vicky almost lounges towards Rachel if it wasn't because I was pulling her back.

“Or what?” Rachel snaps.

“How would you like a black eye to accompany the rest of your purple face?” I've never seen Vicky punch anyone, on the other hand I never thought I'd punch anyone either.

“Vicky let's go.” I start walking the opposite way and try my best to pull her with me.

“Yeah listen to the girl Victoria.” Rachel laughs.

“Are you okay?” She asks me once we're at a decent distance away from Rachel. I don't say anything I just keep walking, my head swirling with so many things and I just want to be alone.

“I'm such a coward. I always have to have someone to stand up for me.” I clench my jaw at the thought. “Why can't I face my problems alone?”

“Because you don't have to El.” Her arm goes back to my shoulder. “I'll always have your back. That's what a best friend does.” I sigh, she's amazing.

“What have I done, I basically dumped Portia without her knowing.” She hums and stays silent for a while.

“She doesn't have to know, you need to talk with her and tell her all of this before it's too late.” I cringe at her words, the thought of losing her just breaks my heart.

“It still hurts. You read the messages, it's all true.”

“No, you know what Rachel wants you to know. It could be true and it also could not be.” She does have a point, my phone vibrates interrupting my train of thought.

Portia is in class, just left her there. :) A text from last night's number says.

“What does this say to you then?” I shove it in Vicky's hands and walk away, I pick up my pace and a minute later I'm outside History class, where Portia is. I take a deep breath and lean against the wall to wait for Vicky. “Finally, took you long enough.” I glare at her.

“Be pissed but don't take it out on me, is that clear?” I ignore her and walk through the door, my eyes immediately find Portia in her usual seat. Mine is the next to hers, I don't know where else to sit so I tug on Vicky's hand making her take my seat as I take hers next to mine. “Wow, you're so mature about this.” She murmurs.

“Oh shut it Vicky.” I could feel the tension between the three of us, I wish I could just disappear from all of this, it's so stressful.

“Hi Ellen…” Portia's soft voice suddenly makes me feel at ease, I hate she has that much control over me.

It takes me a few seconds but decide that I shouldn't be rude so I mumble a ‘hi’ right before our teacher starts class. It wouldn't be such a torture if I wasn't sitting this close to her, even with Vicky there I couldn't focus on today's lesson.

I kept my eyes glued to the front of the class in order to avoid Portia’s beautiful ones. I tried my best to keep a straight face, I didn't want her to see how much all of this hurts. I took a chance and turn to see her, she was scribbling onto a piece of paper. Her eyes following the pencil as she wrote, her eyes look up catching me. I force my eyes back to my book annoyed she caught me looking at her.

Physics was just as boring as it's every single day. I payed little to no attention but then drifted off to my daydreaming. Mr. Willis should really make all this learning a little more fun, maybe like that I could actually learn something.

Math class was the same except that here I had to sit on my usual seat, behind Portia, which didn't help much. I could smell the perfume that I know it could only be hers, her unique scent that has always made me weak at my knees.

So many times I wanted to reach out and take her hair in my fingers and marvel at how soft it is. I wanted to write a note and say how much I missed her despite the circumstances. I miss every single thing about her.

Class would be over in five minutes, the bell would ring for lunch and all the students would run out to race each other to be the first ones to get their food. I didn't want to go to lunch, that means I have to sit alone, there's nothing worse than sitting by yourself at lunch. Then again, I don't have anywhere else to be like Vicky. If she wants she gets to have lunch with her teammates.

The bell rings and I slowly put all my things inside my backpack. I take my time as everyone scrambles to their feet running out the door in less than a minute. The last student leaves and I'm left alone in the classroom. I debate whether or not to skip lunch, I don't have any reason to go now.

I sigh as I get on my feet, throw my backpack over my shoulder and walk aimlessly through the now empty hallways. I drag my hand over the wall as I keep a slow pace, I stare at my feet, moving one foot in front of the other.

“Get to lunch.” A teacher scolds me as she walks by. I roll my eyes and turn to right at the end of the hall that leads to the cafeteria. I pull open the door and head to an empty table, with my head down.

I slide into the seat letting my head fall between my arms on the table. I take a deep breath and blow it out into my sleeve. I take take a peek at the clock that is high on the wall and groan. I've been here for only five minutes, I still have twenty more to go and be miserable.

A few minutes later, which felt like an eternity, I feel someone sit in front of me. Their backpack hits the table with a loud thud followed by a small vibration from its weight. I wait, expecting for them to say something if that's the reason why they even sat with me.

Curiosity takes the best of me and I raise my head. A hazel eyed brunette girl is what my eyes find, she looks into mine and gives me a small smile as I tilt my head trying to figure out who she is.

“Hi.” She says shyly.

“Hi.”

“I'm Jessica.” She offers her hand for me to shake but I hesitate. I don't understand what she's doing here. I decide to be friendly and slide my hand into hers, which is warm and very soft.

“Ellen.” I say as we shake them.

“Why so lonely?” I cringe at the question. I don't want to think why Portia is not here with me, why am I alone today or what has happened over the weekend.

“Just you know…” I trail off thinking of a reasonable excuse.

“I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry.” She waves her hands in front of her and gives me a smile, which strangely warms my heart. “Want one?” Her hand pulls a pack of gum from her jacket’s pocket.

“You know, once you offer gum everyone comes like piranhas.” Jessica laughs and I allow myself to chuckle, to genuinely chuckle.

“Well I'll risk it, want one or not?” I take one shaking my head at her pushy personality. “Take another for later.” She smirks as I stare at her. “Come on, you know you want to.” Her eyebrows wiggle and I can't help but laugh.

“You're too persistent, aren't you?” I stuff the extra piece of gum in my pocket and rest my hands over my chest.

“I'll take that as a compliment.” Her grins takes a smile out of me.

“You had to be one of those…”

“Hey, what's that supposed to mean?” She gives me a small pout and it does something to me inside, I feel like I melt.

“No, no, I didn't mean it like that.” I start apologizing, freaking over the fact that I might've hurt my new friend's feelings. “I was kidding…”

“Don't be silly Ellen, I'm teasing you.” She winks before lifting her sleeve to look at her watch. “God Chemistry is the worst, I don’t want to goooo.” Her complaining makes me chuckle. “Don't laugh,  I'm serious.” She gives me puppy eyes and a pout.

“I hate Physics, science is not my thing.” She nods in understanding.

“Same here dude, hey do you play any sports?”

“I suck at any kind of physical activity.” I say and shrug at her scoff. “Do you?”

“I'm on the softball team, well I'm trying to get in it.” That sparks my interest, I didn't even know we had a softball team in the school.

“Do you play it like baseball?”

“Hmm it's similar, you should come to the tryouts to check it out maybe you like it.” She winks and I giggle.

“Maybe I'll go, maybe I won't.” I banter and she chuckles.

“You're quite funny, I like funny.”

“Well,” I cock my eyebrow and look into her hazel eyes. “I aim to please.” She chokes on her water and I panic at not knowing what to do.

I hastily go to her side and softly pat her back to help alleviate the discomfort from her throat. Jessica grips my arm as she continues to cough and then she starts to laugh. I look at her puzzled, what could be so funny.

“We just met and I'm already dying at your horrible jokes.” I gasp placing my hand over my chest, pretending to be hurt.

“You're mean…”

“I'm kidding, you are a clown.” I gasp again.

“Sure, continue, go on throw me more.”

“Come here.” She pulls in for a hug, my body becomes rigid at the action. She rubs my back gently and I allow myself to relax a little. I don't know why but Jessica makes me feel happy, something I haven't been since Saturday.

I wish it was Portia who was hugging me and not someone I just met mere fifteen minutes ago. She's the only arms I want to be in, the only arms I want to hold me and make me feel safe, that with one touch I feel like I belong there.

In Jessica’s I don't feel that, I feel happy but not like I belong there. I slowly pull away giving her a soft smile. “I shouldn't have done that… I'm sorry.”

“Don't worry about it.” I brush her off.

“Oh no, the bell is about to ring.” She checks her watch again and I groan, is not possible for twenty minutes to fly by that fast. I don't want to stop talking to Jessica, she's a nice girl.

“Yay, English.” My voice drips with sarcasm. Jessica laughs and I can't help the smile on my lips that I'm able to make her laugh.

“Exciting, isn't it?” I nod but my smile fades away at the thought that Portia would walk me there and I would get to kiss her goodbye. Today that is not gonna happen, my stomach tightens and I feel I'm going to be sick. “Are you ok?” She asks as the bell rings and I run out to the restroom locking myself in one of the stalls.

I place my hands on my face as tears fall down my cheeks. A sob escapes me and tears start to fall uncontrollably. Why should it have to hurt this much to think about her. Because you love her, you idiot. A voice in my head tells me. I hit the wall with the palm of my hand, feeling helpless about everything.

Minutes seem to have passed as I cry into my hands in the stall, thankful that no one that comes in can see me in such a state. I wipe my face with the back on hands and take a deep breath.

I exit the stall and head to the sink to wash my hands and to apply cold water to my puffy eyes. As I go to grab paper towels to dry off my face a hand briskly pushes me back against the sink.

“When are you going to talk to me?” Portia's cold voice sends a chill down my back. “I have done nothing to be treated like this.” She hissed.

“What do you want?” I don't dare look into her eyes, I might drown in them.

“You. I want you Ellen.”

It takes all of me to stop her as her hands go to my hips to hold me in place. “Stop-” Her soft lips force themselves on mine.

“No.”

“Go get Rachel to get you off and leave me alone.” Her whole body freezes and I'm afraid of what's to come.

“Oh I get it, since you were so friendly with that girl during lunch you don't want me anymore.” A pang of guilt fills my senses, she saw me talking with Jessica.

“Rachel must be waiting for you so she walks you to class.” I gently try push her away from me but her grip tightens on me.

“What do mean?”

“Nothing.” I try again to get out of her grasp, her body pushes up against mine. “Let me go, please.” I say softly and my voice cracks, tears threaten to fall again.

“You don’t let me touch you but you let a total stranger hug you.” My heart breaks at the fact that she saw that but I can't let her see it. Defeated Portia takes one step back and I take that opportunity to rush out of the restroom.

I must be late for English and I might get detention but at this point I don't really care about it. I dip my head as I walk slowly, I feel tired emotionally and I just want to get into my bed and sleep for a few days, maybe when I wake up everything is magically back to normal.

I wonder how Portia's day must have gone so far, at least I hope not as bad as mine. My hand itches to take my phone and send her a text, what would I say to her, I have no idea. I just miss the routine we had for the time we were apart.

We would text back and forth asking how boring from a scale of one to ten were our current classes. We'd talk about anything and everything, through text I'm not as shy as I am in front of her so I'd flirt and say the cheesy things I wouldn't in person. I miss saying ‘I love you’ to her.

Mrs. Mills was talking about the upcoming essay we had to write. She was saying we had to- I don't remember what we had to do, I had my head down for most of the lesson, my mind was elsewhere but not in this classroom.

She passes our previous essay already graded and I stuff it into my binder, not really caring about anything right now. I look up to the clock above the door and realize that class is almost over, what would I give for this to be the last class of the day.

I groan as the bell rings, I'm not ready to see Portia just yet. My hands start to sweat from how nervous I am, it's not close to the nervous I was when we first started talking.

I anxiously walk through the door, I look at Portia's seat from the corner of my eye and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I can't possibly look into her eyes after what happened in the restroom. I shouldn't have said anything about Rachel, now Portia will start to suspect and connect the dots between us and Rachel.

I sit down and instantly feel lonely without Portia sitting next to me. Even though I'm dreading the moment she will want to talk to me, because my stubborn self doesn't won't allow me to give in. I miss her and wish I could just tell her everything and let this agony go away.

I notice Portia slip inside right when the bell rings and rushes to her seat and I notice the red around her eyes, it's barely there but I was able to see it. I cringe at the fact that she could have been crying after our little altercation.

Mrs. Martinez walks to the front of the class with a stack of papers in her hands. She waits for everyone to settle down and starts passing the papers around. I curse under my breath as I read what the paper is about.

“You guys didn't forget about the group project did you?” She teases as a couple of students start to whine about it. I had completely forgotten that all this week Portia and I will have to work together.

“Mrs. can we change partners?” Sabrina, a girl I only the name of, asks with hope in her voice.

“No you cannot, you will work with who you chose Friday.”

“But Mrs-”

“No buts, now get with your partner.” A few girls and guys move around until they find their project buddy. I for one don't have to move, although Portia scoots closer to me.

Our teacher starts telling us what the project is based on and what is expected from us. I wouldn't call myself an artist but I know a thing or two about what we are supposed to do. Maybe Portia knows more than what she lets on.

“Get to work everybody.” Mrs. Martinez claps her hands enthusiastically and goes to her desk burying herself on grading her previous class's work.

“What should ours be about?” I jump started by Portia speaking out of nowhere. I bet the money I have in my pocket she laughed at me, I want to turn to her and give her a pout and tease her but something kept me from doing it.

“Whatever you want, I don't mind.” I say in a motionless voice, or at least I think I did.

“How about…” She looks cute when she has to make a decision. She bites her bottom lip as she ponders on the options she has. “… this one?” I lean over to look at what her finger is pointing on the paper. Mrs. Martinez gave us five options of what our project can be about and only Portia could pick the hardest one.

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” I again use my serious tone and she sighs. We start working in silence, only mumbling a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to each other when needed. The pressure to control my emotions in front of her was unbearable, she keeps our conversation only on our project and I desperately wanted to see her smile and hear her laugh.

Wasn't mama supposed to come pick me up. I ask myself as I look at the clock on the wall. Class would be over in half an hour and I needed to get away from all of this. I just want mama to hug me and subtly tell me that everything will be ok.

I lean back in my chair and watch her add to the drawing we started. She's very concentrated and I let myself get lost in her focused eyes. Her brow furrows and she sticks her tongue out from the corner of her mouth as she draws. She lets a heavy sigh out while she turns the pencil around and erases a few lines here and there. Portia tends to get frustrated when something doesn't come out the way she wants.

“Need some help?” I say before I know it.

“No.”

“You can use my pencil.” I offer since hers needs to be sharpened.

“No thank you.”

“Are you ok?”

“I'm fine.” I give up in trying to make idle conversation with her. She must be upset at me and I can't blame her if she is. The teacher walks from group to group to check how we are doing and to give help in case we need it.

“How is it going girls?” She asks nicely.

“Why would I choose the hardest one.” Portia huffs letting the pencil fall on the table and I watch as it rolls down to the floor.

“Ellen why are you not helping her?” Mrs. Martinez asks me with that tone teachers use in disapproval.

“I did-”

“She will take this home and work on it, maybe it needs changes to what I have done.” Portia intervenes and I glare at the side of her head. “We can take it home, right?” She asks our teacher.

“As long as it's done by Friday you can work on it wherever you want.” The phone by the door rings and she walks away to go answer it leaving us alone again.

“I'll do it myself if you like.”

“It's a group thing, don't be silly.” She mutters and bends to her right to take the pencil that had fallen moments ago. “How is mama?” My heart warms at the way she refers to her.

“She's good, she was supposed to come pick me up early.”

“Why is that?” She asks with curiosity.

“She owns me ice cream.” I finally turn to look at her and see how the corners of her mouth turn upwards. Her head tilts and I answer the unasked question. “I got bribed into coming to school for ice cream.” Portia giggles, a smile forms on my lips against my will.

“You didn't want to come?” I shake my head, my smile fading away as I remember the reason why I didn't want to. “Why?” She asks concerned.

“Because-”

“Ellen, your mom is waiting for you.” I'm interrupted and I couldn't be more thankful for it. I didn't want to tell Portia the truth but neither did I wanted to lie to her.

“Bye Ellen.” The sadness in her eyes broke my heart.

“Bye.” I grab my backpack and quickly throw all my things inside. My lips itched to kiss her goodbye, it had been two days since last time I kissed her soft lips. Even a hug would be nice, I always feel safe in them.

I walk to the front office where mama is waiting for me, I'm ready to get out of here. I spot Rachel talking to a teacher further away from where I'm going and I pick up my pace. I don't really have the energy for another obnoxious encounter with her.

“There you are honey.” Mama pulls me for a tight hug. I let myself be hugged for a few seconds and pull away to find concern in her eyes. “Come on, ice cream is waiting.” I'm grateful she didn't ask me what was wrong.

The ride to the ice cream shop was quiet, mama noticed I wasn't in a mood to talk and she didn't push it. She left me alone with my thoughts, which were more like questions to myself. Wondering what's going to happen between Portia and I, thinking that I probably ruined everything with my stubbornness and not telling her the truth.

Soon it dawns on me what I told Rachel with Vicky present, Portia is not my girlfriend anymore, well she doesn't know that and a break up has to be an agreement between both of us which it wasn't. Rachel will tell her what I said and Portia will think the worst about me.

“Honey, are you there?” Mama waves her hand in front of me and snaps her fingers a few times. “Will you tell me what's wrong?” She places her hand on my shoulder.

I shake my head and look out the window. I hadn't realized we were already at the ice cream shop. Mama sighs grabbing my chin to make me look at her. My gaze falls down to my hands on my lap.

“Portia probably knows what's wrong with you, I'll make sure I call her when we get home.” My heads snaps back up to look at her with fear in my eyes, I still haven't been brave enough to tell her yet.

“No- it's just-” I start to stutter. “School. It's very stressful.” I end up with a white lie.

“Hmm, are you sure?” I nod and she seems to let it go and believe me. She gets out of the car and I copy her, we meet at the entrance and her arm goes around my shoulders. “Let's get a smile on that face and those blue eyes to light up baby.” I try to give her a small genuine smile.

“Thank you.” I kiss her cheek as we walk up to the cashier to get our ice cream. I get my favorite and she gets her usual, we sit at a small table to eat and enjoy ice cream over small talk.

Mama tries to cheer me up with her really bad jokes, it's sweet she wants me to feel better but deep down I just feel like crap. The conversation Portia and I had was like if we didn't knew each other, like if we had to talk because we were forced to work together. It was as if we were strangers to each other.

Once we are back home I go to my room and into my bed. I didn't bother to take my shoes off and I just curl up in a ball. Tears fall as I clutch my pillow in my arms, I sob thinking that Portia won't want to know about me again after today.

Chapter 23

Portia POV

Awake. That is what I am at 5:30 in the morning. I should try go back to sleep, I know, but I can’t. I've tried to for the last hour and I’ve just given up. My alarm will ring in about an hour for me to get up and get ready for school. Maybe instead of laying here staring at the ceiling I should finish that math homework I gave up on last night. Maybe I should grab a book and occupy my mind from thinking of Ellen. Maybe I should go down and see what I can have for a very early breakfast. I groan and sit up on my bed.

I run my hand through my long hair combing it with my fingers and bring my legs up to my chest. I rest my chin on my knees and place my arms around my legs. I still don’t understand what have I done for Ellen to be like that with me. She doesn’t talk to me and I don’t know what to do, I’m sure something happened during that soccer game I just don’t know what.

I sigh and throw my legs over the edge of my bed, the coolness of the floor on my feet cools me down a little bit. I can’t wait for winter to get here, I hate the hot as much as I hate school, maybe even more. I get up and walk to my closet and grab underwear, bra, a pair of jeans and Ellen’s hoodie because even if I’m hot it still smells like her. I might as well go for a shower.

I think I might’ve taken longer in the shower than I should, as I’m getting dressed my phone rings and I rush out the restroom with a towel wrapped around my body. I’m still secretly hoping Ellen will text me and that whatever it is that happened will be part of the past, that we will be how we use to be.

Hey, want a ride to school? It’s James whose text I received and I can’t help the disappointment that it’s not Ellen.

Sure, yeah. I finish getting dressed, walk down to the kitchen and grab a banana since I didn't have time for breakfast.

I decide to go to his house instead of him coming to pick me up. It's a short walk but I put my headphones on and listen to my favorite song in an attempt to clear my head a little bit. I wonder if James knows who this Jessica girl is.

“We're here too early James.” I complain as he parks his car.

“Relax, it's only fifteen minutes.” I huff and roll my eyes as we get out of the car. I haven't been in the best mood but I shouldn't take it out on him, it's not his fault.

“Where are we going?” I ask when he grabs my hand walking to who knows where.

“Library, I need to return some books.” I let him pull me with him, we enter and my eyes immediately find the blonde of all my distress. She seems to have company.

“Can we leave?” I tug at his hand.

“What's wrong?” He pulls me further into the library and then I see them. Ellen and that girl talking, more like whispering, and giggling. I couldn't help not stare at them as we walk a few tables away from them.

“Are we going to leave or not?”

“Why are you so upset Portia?” He stops making me bump on his shoulder. My gaze never left them and he follows where I was looking. “Let's go.” He starts walking again but I'm glued to my spot.

“She looks happy.” I say to myself.

“What-”

“She's laughing and smiling.”

“Port-”

“But it's not with me, she doesn't love me anymore.” Once the last word slipped through my lips tears fall down my cheeks and I feel my heart break into a million pieces.

“Hey, hey, no. I can't believe I'm defending her but that-” He points at them and continues. “Doesn't mean anything, that she's talking with Jessica doesn't mean you guys are over.”

“Jessica? You know her?” My eyes leave them to look at him.

“Jessica Montero, we share a couple of classes and I think she plays softball.” I nod and turn to look at them again.

“She will fall for her.” I whisper as I see them interact. Jessica says something and Ellen laughs. She holds her arm and I feel jealousy creeping up on me. I never thought I was the jealous type. Ellen has certainly brought that out in me.

“Don't be silly, they are just friends.”

“Look at her, she's literally flirting with Ellen.” He sighs in annoyance. I see how Jessica flashes her one of those charming smiles, I notice Ellen is blushing from how red her ears are and I see how touchy Jessica is.

“Portia listen, if you two are meant to be she will come back to you.” I guess he is right but we never broke up, all she did was push me away. “Come on I need to tell you something.” I let him drag me to the other side of the library.

“What-”

“Don't get angry, I might have visited Ellen Sunday…” Before I can say anything he interrupts me. “After I dropped you off from shopping I went to her house.”

“And why did you?” I cross my arms over my chest waiting for a very good explanation.

“I was angry at her, I still am so I went to confront her about that bet she did.”

“That's a lie, she would never do that.” I defend her once again.

“That's the third time you defend-”

“And I'll keep doing it, she's a horrible liar. I know that's a lie.” I still can't prove this but something tells me it's not true.

“Oh god, you're in too deep…”

“I know and she's the one, I can feel it.” My voice fails me and breaks. “She's- Ellen is the love of my life.” His arms are around me immediately rubbing my back to comfort me.

“I know what you mean Portia, I understand.” I pull back ready to ask what he's trying to say but he speaks before me. “I like Vicky a lot, she defended Ellen and got between us.”

“You wouldn't have hurt her right?” I squint my eyes glaring at him. He shakes his head and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. “You should tell Vicky, I'm sure the feeling is mutual.” He blushes and I can't help giggle. It's not rare to see James blush but it’s still cute.

“How about we go to class?” He changes the subject.

“Sure but Vicky has the right to know, wasn't that date we set you two up a success?” He nods shyly. “She could be waiting for you to make a move.” I nudge his arm and wink at him.

“Stop embarrassing me.” He groans.

“You two make a cute couple, by the way.” His grin tells me he does like her a lot. If only I could encourage him to make his move. While he walks me to class we talk about the upcoming games we each have and our plans for when the season finishes.

Before I walk inside I see Ellen and Jessica at the other side of the hall talking, my suspicion was right. Jessica has a thing for Ellen, she’s saying something and Jessica listens fascinated with a big smile on her face. She reaches to touch Ellen but she pulls away, which I’m very happy about.

I sit and wait for Ellen to get here, I'm slightly annoyed at how Jessica was trying to touch Ellen. Another part of me is jealous at the fact that she's making her laugh, that they just met yesterday and they're already friends.

I want to be the one to make Ellen laugh, I want to be the one to walk her to class and hold her hand. My head is telling me that Ellen seems to have forgotten what we had and I feel my heart shatter, it's so hard to believe it was only a week before something had to happen to separate us.

If what she wants is space then I'll give it to her, even if I'm dying to talk to her. I say to myself. Ellen walks in with that smile that melts my heart and I notice how her cheeks have a small tinge of red, I sigh heavily as she sits in Vicky's seat.

The temptation to talk to her is killing me, I just want to wake up from this nightmare already. Vicky comes and sits in Ellen's seat letting out a groan, I feel sorry for her for having to be between us.

The teacher calls on me a couple of times for not paying attention, truth be told I could care less about what happened a hundred years ago. I can’t not concentrate even if I want to, which was not the case.

Our assignment is passed out and I stuff it between my books, school work should be my priority to keep my grades up to be in the soccer team but right now my head is occupied by a very pretty blue eyed blonde.

I take out a scrap piece of paper to doodle on until class is over, as I doodled on I start to wonder what are we going to do about that art project that counts as half of our grade. If it doesn't get done because of our situation I will for sure flunk Mrs. Martinez class and that can't happen.

The bell rings and I rush out the door at lightning speed, I need to find the girl that has succeeded at destroying the best relationship I've ever had. I pick up my pace as students start to flood the halls and push through the few that don't see me coming.

My eyes spot Rachel talking with some of her friends at the end of the hall, by the time I get there most of them have left except one girl. Unexpectedly I grab Rachel's arm and yank her to the corner.

"What did you do to Ellen?" I demand but she chuckles.

"Oh nothing, have no idea what you are talking about." I grab the front of her shirt pushing her back against the wall.

"What. Did. You-"

"Portia, baby listen. It's not my fault you can't keep a steady relationship. I mean haven't you seen how close Jessica has gotten to her in one day? She probably dumped you and you don’t even know it." Rachel smirks. I feel my anger rising, I clench my jaw at her words and grit my teeth. I pull her close to my face and growl at her.

"I will get to the end of this Rachel and if you..." I choose to ignore that one last comment and let her shirt go, she stumbles back against the wall, that smile of hers slowly disappearing. "You're dead." I walk away feeling somewhat satisfied that I was able to intimidate her.

The new essay we are assigned is giving me hard time, school in general is giving me a hard time these two days. It never crossed my mind I would slack off in my studies, not because of a girl anyway.

I close the laptop I was allowed to use placing my arms on it and put my head down between them with a heavy sigh. I’m trying very hard to concentrate on my essay and not on Ellen. I don’t want to think about how Jessica seems to like her. I don’t want to think that there’s a possibility that she could take Ellen away from me and that I could lose her forever. I don’t want to think that she probably broke up with me without even telling me.

When the bell rings I put the laptop where it belongs and start walking towards Math class. My head falls and I look at my feet as I walk, absentmindedly I end in front of Ellen’s Physics class. I sigh and turn around, I got so used to walking her to class or her walking me to mine followed by a goodbye kiss.

I continue walking at my own pace, every now and then I get bumped into from students pushing through but I can't bring myself to care. A girl runs into me coming from behind and I almost lose my balance and fall down if she had grabbed my arm a second later.

“Hey, I'm sorry.” Brooke, the team's goalkeeper, apologizes with a small smile.

“It's ok.” I force a smile of my own.

“Are you ok?” She lightly touches my shoulder as we walk. “Cheer up Portia, whatever it is I'm sure it'll be ok.” She's a little too optimistic for my mood at the moment.

“Yeah thanks, see you at practice.” I walk away before she answers, I turn the corner and I feel the air leave my lungs.

Ellen and Jessica are together again, unlike before this time her arm is hooked on Ellen's and I feel anger, disappointment, more anger and jealousy. I want to walk up to them and pull her hands off of my girlfriend, because she still is my girlfriend, and wipe that grin off her face too. But I don't.

Instead, I go inside and plop down on my seat. Tears fill my eyes, I hastily wipe them before they fall down my face and students stare at me as I cry. I open my backpack grabbing my Math book and open it to the page that is written on the board.

I try not to look when Ellen finally comes inside and walks to her seat behind me. I could smell her unique scent as she walked by. I could feel her eyes on me during class, it was rather harder to concentrate than it was during History.

Here she is right behind me, no one between us. It was very tempting to just turn around and look into her beautiful blue eyes. Just let myself drown in them, see what she would do about it. If she would get upset or shy, everything is unpredictable and scary at the same time.

I decide to go with my thought of just giving her the space she wants. I need her to talk to me when she's ready, I don't want to forcefully get it out of her. If in the end she decides to break up I won't have no other choice but accept her decision. I want her to be happy, I just want to be the one to make her happy, to be the source of her happiness.

Lunch will begin in five minutes so I place everything in my backpack and swing it on my back. I sit sideways on my chair ready to get out of here. I gently tap my fingers on the desk as I wait and stare at the clock. Five minutes could not pass fast enough.

Why is it that when you want time to fly by it goes at a snail's pace but when you don't want it to pass it just flies by? Immersed in my thoughts determined to find an answer to my unasked question the bell rings.

For some reason I wait until Ellen leaves and then follow her, now I feel like a stalker. I was expecting for Jessica to show up to walk with Ellen to lunch but she didn't. Maybe I could sit with her and just talk about anything but our relationship…

That thought is wooshed away when Ellen sits at our table, because it's where we would sit together during lunch so it's our table, and Jessica comes not even a minute later. I ball up my fists as she hugs Ellen, Ellen only halfway returning the hug but nonetheless it still makes my blood boil.

I sit at a nearby table careful that I won't be seen by Ellen in case she decides to look around. I don't understand why Vicky isn't with her, does she not know what's going on? I'm sure Ellen would have told her by now and Vicky would not even look at me depending on what Ellen would have told her.

I groan annoyed at all these “would haves” that I will never know the outcome of.

My eyes are glued on Jessica. I see how she smiles at Ellen, she offers her a piece of gum and Ellen takes it instantly placing it on her tongue. They are sitting next to each other, exactly how we sat so we could be closer to each other, Jessica says something apparently funny enough for Ellen to throw her head back as she laughs.

Even from a distance I can see Ellen's cheeks flush as Jessica speaks. That's the last straw for me and I briskly walk towards them. I take long strides and slide on the seat next to Ellen taking her by surprise.

“Hey.” I whisper to a shocked Ellen.

“Uh- umm hi…” It seems like I interrupted their little chit chat when both their smiles disappear.

“Hi, I’m Jessica. Nice to meet you.” She says a little too friendly, she sticks her hand out for me to shake and I hesitate. I didn’t came here to gain a new friend, I came because I’m jealous, upset, annoyed and maybe a little angry. Against my will I shake her hand.

“Portia.” I risk the chance of resting my hand on Ellen’s arm when Jessica lets go. Their conversation continues as if I’m not here and I pretend to listen. Jessica makes a stupid joke making Ellen laugh, I laugh a little too sarcastic and Ellen seems to notice when she gives me the look. That look that says please be nice and behave.

I decide to be a little bold and intertwine my fingers with Ellen’s. Her whole body tensing up at my action. I see Jessica’s attention is on our hands and I couldn’t help smile to myself. I’m probably being a jerk right now, I admit it, but I can’t help my behavior when I know she likes Ellen and not in a friendly kind of way.

An awkward silence falls between the three of us. Jessica fidgets with some object in her hands trying to not look our way. Ellen slips her hand out of mine, I want to protest and take it back in mine but I keep quiet. I have missed holding her warm, soft hand.

I know I probably upset her with my behavior, I still love her I couldn't just sit back and see how someone else tries to get close to her.

My heart sinks when the bell rings and she gets up and leaves without saying bye or anything. I see how Jessica follows her, Ellen welcoming her presence just makes my whole body numb. She maybe doesn't feel anything for me anymore.

Today's lesson for Chemistry has to do with chemical reactions. I partially pay attention. Chemical reactions create new molecules, original atoms get rearranged and yada yada yada. Molecules and atoms make me dizzy.

Taking notes is not as easy at it seems, more so if you have other things your mind decides is more important at that moment. Ellen, in fact, is more important than molecules and atoms. I just don't know what to do, I don't know how to approach her and question her. To this day I still don't know what have I done.

Art class doesn't go any better, Ellen is so immersed in that project she barely pays attention to me. I offer my help but she rejects it.

"I'm part of this too, you know." I huff crossing my arms. Mrs. Martinez will maybe think I'm not putting enough effort into this.

"I'm aware." She states.

"Why won't you let me help then?"

"You can take it home if you want." Ellen replies nonchalantly, only adding to my already annoyed state.

"If I bother you that much, you should tell me." I retort and I get up walking out to calm myself. I take five big deep breaths as I lean against the lockers.

I walk back inside with five minutes to spare before school is over for the day. I take my chair and push it further away from Ellen, it seems like all I do is upset her lately. I carefully place what she was working on in my backpack.

Practice is the last thing I have in mind, I should skip it and go straight home and into my bed. But, if I skip it I'll get into trouble and if I'm honest taking my frustration on the ball can probably clear my head from all this crap that my life has become.

As soon as I change into my practice clothes I go out and grab a ball to kick around until everyone, including coach comes to the field. Vicky is the third girl to come out, she glares at me and I can only assume Ellen has already talked to her. I sigh, today is not my day.

Thirty minutes in I'm already unfocused. My passes never make their destination, my shots are way off target and my defending is the worst. As I try to take the ball from my teammate I accidentally kick her shin and she falls to the ground.

I bend over to check if she's ok, her face contorts in pain making me feel guilty for not concentrating on the task at hand. I hold her hand as coach comes to check how she is, if practice should be cut short or if we can continue.

“Portia go take a break.” Coach says concerned as he looks at the girl's leg. I shake my head, I didn't hurt her on purpose. My life is just a wreck at the moment and my head is elsewhere.

“No, I want to-”

“You can't if something else is bothering you. Go take a break.” He repeats pointing at the bleachers. I sigh walking with my eyes stinging with tears. I'm upset at myself that I hurt someone, it was not intentionally but because I can't think of anything other than Ellen it happened.

Ellen will definitely doom me if I can't figure out his whole situation soon. Whatever the outcome is I just need to know what it is that I did wrong.

A couple of minutes later Vicky comes to sit down next to me. I did not expect her to be friendly after that look she gave me. We sit in silence as we watch the rest of the girls practice one on one drills.

“Everything will be ok, you know.” She whispers, I barely make out what she is trying to say. I turn giving her a smile and she returns it.

“Thank you.”

“You should talk to her, you guys need to fix this mess. You were made for each other, please don't ruin it.” Vicky says as she looks into the distance. I can't help the warm feeling I get in the middle of my stomach at her words. I do feel Ellen is the one.

Coach ends practice and everyone hurdles to the locker room to change and go home. I stay back for a little longer with Vicky by my side. It's the perfect opportunity to tell her James likes her.

“You know, someone likes you. A very good friend of mine likes you a lot…” I chuckle when a blush creeps up her cheeks.

“Tell that very good friend of yours to make his move…” I knew it, I knew the feeling was mutual. Now how do I get James to make his move.

“I'm sorry.” I don't know why I'm apologizing for but I feel like I have to. “I never meant to hurt Ellen with whatever it is that I did. I love her and miss her so much.” Vicky furrows her eyebrows confused. I walk down the bleachers to the locker room before she says anything.

I take my time as James probably isn’t done with football practice and he’s my ride home. I decide to take a quick shower since I’m alone in here. I pat my body dry as well as my hair and change into the extra clothes I always bring for times like these.

“Took you long enough.” I start complaining as soon as I get in the passenger seat. I don’t mean to get it out on him but my day wasn’t the best.

“Well someone is grumpy today.”

“I had a horrible day, I have the right to be grumpy.”

“What happened?” His voice full of worry brings tears to my eyes.

“I got jealous, they were together everywhere. They laugh and talk like if they’re best friends. Plus to make it worse, Jessica likes Ellen.” I rant to him.

“You could be wrong, maybe you are mistaking-”

“No I’m not. Jessica has that same look I had when Ellen would talk to me, that look that says I love when you talk to me I could listen to you all day.”

“I still think you’re wrong.”

“I know I’m right.” I look out the window as he waits for the light to turn green. “Yesterday Ellen told me to go to Rachel when I clearly said I want her, she said ‘Rachel must be waiting for you so she walks you to class’ and I’m still confused about that. I’m going nuts James.” I place my hands over my face and groan loudly.

“Clearly Rachel did something since her name just keeps coming up between you two.”

“Ellen punched her, I still don’t know what made her do that. I think Rachel told her something that upset her and Rachel got what she deserved.”

“What you need to do is talk to her, make her tell you what’s going on.”

“I can’t make her, I can’t just tie her on a chair and start interrogating her.”

“You might have to Portia if it’s bugging you that much.” He turns on the street I live at and parks in front of my house. “Just think about it.” He pats my leg lightly.

“Thank you.” I open the door to get out but stop. “By the way before I forget, someone is waiting for you to make a move.” I laugh as his cheeks start turning red. “Think about it.” I wink and climb out of his car.

“Hey honey.” I’m startled by my mom coming out of the kitchen. Usually she’s working when I come back from school, guess today was her day off.

“Oh god, mom please don’t do that again.” She laughs as she walks into the living room, I follow her and sit next to her on the sofa.

“How was school? How’s Ellen?” Mom asks with a smile, it fades away a couple of seconds later. I’m not sure if I should tell her the truth or tell her a white lie.

“It was ok.” I end up deciding not to worry her but I can see she doesn’t buy it. “I’m just stressed, I have to work on this art project Ellen and I are working together on.”

“Will she be coming over then? I haven’t had the pleasure of formally meeting her because of work, I’m sorry honey.” She apologizes and I feel guilty for lying.

“No not today, I can’t wait for you two to meet though. You will love her.” I force a smile. I shouldn’t have said that when I don’t even know if Ellen still wants to be with me.

“I’m sure I will. Come on I’ll drive you to her house.” I’m thrown off guard by her offer. I sit there debating if I should go to Ellen’s house just like that or try convince mom that she doesn’t have to. It could be a great opportunity to finally talk to Ellen and figure where we stand in our relationship.

As we get closer to our destination I start to get nervous. I don’t know what I should expect from my surprise visit. I don’t know if Ellen will kick me out like last time. I don’t know if I’m even welcomed there.

My train of thought is interrupted when mom places her hand on my arm. I was lost in my own world I didn’t realize we arrived at Ellen’s house. I kiss her goodbye as I grab my backpack and get out of the car. I stand there frozen in the driveway, ‘I can still get out of here’ I think to myself.

Before I know it I knock three times on the door, a few seconds pass and I’m praying no one is home. That I can go home and not face my problems today. My prayers are not answered when I hear footsteps coming to the door.

“Portia! I missed you sweetie.” Mama ushers me inside and into her arms for a hug. I missed her a lot.

“Hi mama.” I smile once she pulls back to look at me.

“It was time you payed me a visit.” I laugh as she walks us further inside with her arm around my shoulders. “Ellen is in her room, you can go to her if you want.” She smiles and walks to the living room.

Apprehensively I walk down the hall, I’m so anxious about Ellen’s reaction. I grab the doorknob and twist it slowly, I take a deep breath and push the door open. I'm stunned at what I have before me.

“What the hell if she doing here?” I blurt out. They are both sitting on the floor leaning against Ellen’s bed supposedly doing homework. They stop giggling once they acknowledge my presence. Ellen’s eyes are wide open as she stares at me and Jessica avoids eye contact with me.

I stomp my way towards them and grab what I think is Jessica’s backpack, I stuff the folders and books that are on the floor and fling the backpack through Ellen’s door.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Ellen is livid as she yells.

“I think I should go…” Jessica quietly exits the bedroom unnoticed leaving Ellen and I alone.

“You’re my girlfriend!”

"No I'm not!"

"What-" I'm taken aback, we never broke up. She probably dumped you and you don’t even know it. Rachel's words ring in my head.

"We are not a couple anymore." Her voice breaks as tears fall down both of our cheeks. I want to reach out and comfort her but I know she won’t let me. I want to hold her in my arms in a tight embrace and never let go, I want to wipe her tears away with kisses and caresses, I want to tell her how much I love her but I can’t.

I wipe my own as I look into her blue eyes one last time and walk away with a broken heart.

Chapter 24

The door closes behind me, I lean against it letting myself fall down with my knees up to my chest. All of this must be a nightmare, it has to be and I would really like to wake up from it. I never thought this would turn into this.

Suddenly I feel a wave of emotions. I feel anger, disappointment, and heartbroken I've never felt so empty before. I don't ever wish this kind of pain to anyone, not even my worst enemy.

I get up on my shaky legs thinking what I can do to fix this. I either let Ellen go or try to fix whatever is going on and win her back. I grab the doorknob barging through her door unexpectedly to find her sitting on the edge of her bed. She doesn't look up from staring at her hands, she doesn't notice I'm the one that came inside her room. Anger takes over my head.

“You dump me like a piece of trash and find someone else right away?” I spit out before I know it. “You get me in your bed, pretend you love me for a few days and leave me like if I'm nothing?!” I regret the words as soon as they leave my lips.

“Portia you-”

“Portia nothing, you broke my heart. You broke us up and I still don't know what it is that I did!”

“You don’t know what you did.” Ellen snorts shaking her head. “Sure you don’t.”

“Why don’t you enlighten me then.”

“I don’t have time for this, just fuck it.” She storms out the door slamming it after her. I swing open the door and chase her to the living room.

“Ellen!” She stops on her tracks. “Please, just talk to me. Don’t shut me out.” I plea. She slumps her shoulders and I think she will talk to me but instead walks out the front door leaving me alone.

I don’t hesitate to go after her, we have so much to talk about. I look up to the dark blue sky and take a deep breath, stars have start to show their presence which means it’s getting late. Left or right. I think to myself at an intersection as I have lost sight of her.

My heart taking the initiative I turn to the right. I pick up my pace until I see Ellen walking slowly with her hands in her pocket, it’s a little cold tonight. I yell out to her once I’m a couple of feet away from her. She turns around to see me and decides to play hard to get.

She starts running to a nearby park I know very well, I jog after her. If I want I can catch up in a matter of seconds but I want to give her some time to calm down so we can talk like two normal people and not yell at one another.

Ellen finally stops running and falls down on her knees, I see her shoulders rise and fall as she tries to catch her breath. She leans against a big oak tree, her head falls back with her eyes closed. I sneak the rest of the way and quietly sit next to her, the only sound is the wind rattling the leaves above us.

“It’s cold tonight.” I say as I rub my arms to warm them up.

“Yeah.” I sigh. I don’t really know what to say or how to say it for that matter. “You shouldn’t have followed me, I’m not a kid.” Her cold voice sends shivers down my whole body.

“We have things to talk about, things to clear out.”

“Oh I wonder what could that be?” She mocks me.

“Stop it, you are being an ass Ellen.”

“Now I’m the ass.” She says under her breath but I heard her loud and clear. “Please, tell why.” I roll my eyes, this is not the Ellen I fell in love with.

“You out of the blue decide you don’t want anything to do with me and choose to ignore me just like that, from one day to another. I want to know why, I need to know why.”

“You’ll just keep playing the innocent card won’t you?”

“What in the world are you talking about, stop messing around and get to the point.” I say exasperated.

“Oh please just stop pretending you don’t know anything.”

“All I know is that you had a bet you could get me to sleep with you when it was my first time…” I start to sob. “You were- you're the only one I've ever been with-” I hastily wipe my face with the back of my hand.

“Will you stop lying? That's not true, I wasn't your first. It doesn't even matter, it's that you lied that matters.”

“What are- I lied about what?” Ellen rolls her eyes and shakes her head. I turn around and grab her chin to make her look at me. “You will explain what you meant right now.”

“For what? So you lie your way out of it?” She sneers and pulls away with a jerk of her head. She stands up to leave so I grab the sleeve of her jacket before she takes another step.

“Dammit Ellen! I've never lied to you!” I unintentionally raise my voice.

“So what now? Rachel made everything up?”

“Rachel… that mother-” I take a deep breath to not blow up and take it out on her. “What did she tell you?”

“Nothing, it doesn't matter.”

“It very much does, what did she tell you?” I repeat.

“Nothing.” I clench my jaw, my patience reaching its limit.

“So you found yourself a new girl to get in your bed.” I spat.

“Not much of your problem is it?”

“Stop being a jerk.” I lightly hit her shoulder. “Is she really your girlfriend?” I mumble, not really wanting to know but at the same time needing to.

“So what if she is?” Ellen states coldly. She finally looks into my eyes, hers are red and puffy and I know she has shed some tears just like me. I don't like when she cries, it just breaks my heart.

“So what?” I scoff. “My feelings don’t matter to you anymore do they?” My voice shakes as a lone tear falls down my cheek. My stomach flutters when she reaches out to wipe it with her thumb. She lets a heavy sigh out.

The look I get in response is one of a wounded puppy. “They do actually, a lot.” She sighs. “Rachel just- she said things…” She trails off lowering her gaze to the ground. Now we’re getting somewhere.

“What things? Whatever she said is not true Ellen.”

“Some bullshit.”

“I need to know, please.” I’m begging her now. Rachel and I will have a word soon.

“She said that you two, you know, were together before you broke up and that you told her you loved her that day.” Ellen whispers I barely even hear what she’s saying.

“That’s not true, it-”

“It’s your word against hers.” She interrupts me.

“And you will believe her more than me?” I say, hurt evident in my voice. “You’ll believe someone who has been bothering us instead of me?”

“These texts are fake then?” She shoves her phone in my hand. As I read through them I see why she doubts, I have no idea how Rachel was able to do this.

“Yes- they’re fake I didn’t send any of these.” Ellen scoffs and sits on the grass again. “Read the ones in my phone, the date on these ones are different from the last time I texted her.”

“You could easily delete them, I’m not that stupid.”

“Ellen, why would I sleep with her if I didn’t love her. I believe when you’re going to be with someone is because you love them, I didn’t have to think about it twice with you.”

“You didn’t?” I smile and shake my head. “Maybe you didn’t know what you felt for her was love.” She goes back to being her stubborn self.

“No, never did I felt love for her I’m sure of that.” I cup her cheeks to make her look at me. “Only you, it’s always been you.”

“Maybe she-”

“No.” I cut her off. “I’m telling you the truth, I promise.” I say as I still hold her face between my hands. Her eyes and features soften, a small smile appears on her lips.

“I’m an idiot, I should’ve talked with you first.” Her voice is soft as she speaks. “I’m sorry… for being an ass and all that.”

“Yeah you are but you’re my idiot, a very cute and beautiful idiot.” I lean to kiss her nose.

“I’m serious Portia, I’m sorry.”

“So am I but it’s ok, I know you would have never said those things if it weren’t for Rachel.” I take her hands in mine and bring her left to my lips. “Did you really break up with me?” I ask apprehensive changing the subject.

“Doesn't it take two to break up?”

“Yeah but maybe you-” She shuts me up with a soft chaste kiss.

“I do still love you and I would love if you'd still like to be my girlfriend, that's if you still want me after all that.” My heart soars of happiness, I longed for her to say those words again.

“Always.” I lean to close the gap between us. The kiss is timid and slow but full of love for each other. “I've missed this.” I say before I pull away.

“Me too.” Our foreheads rest against on each other. Her hand comes up to cup my face, her thumb softly caresses my cheek under my eye. A small smile appears on my lips at her action. “That bet was a lie, I said it in the heat of the moment. I didn't meant to hurt you Portia.”

“I know. Baby, I know.” We hold each other for a little while, I don't really want to let go. “I'm just happy that you're here with me again.” I sigh as I close my eyes letting myself melt in her arms.

“Jessica is just a friend, she was nice enough to offer me her company when I really needed it.”

“I still don’t like her. I might have gotten a little jealous.” She chuckles at my confession.

“That’s an understatement.” I roll my eyes. “I like you were jealous, it meant I still matter to you.” Her voice becomes soft.

“You matter a lot baby.”

“It’s all my fault, if I wasn’t so credulous maybe this-”

“It’s Rachel and her big mouth, I don’t know what was she expecting to get out of this.” We both lean against the tree not wanting to let go of each other.

“Well, you are Portia. Popular, smart and beautiful.” I try to say something but she puts her finger over my lips. “Let me finish, and you left her for someone like me.”

“That has-”

“I’m no one in school, nobody knows who I am.” I frown at how she talks about herself. She can’t be serious. “In school I’m either Portia’s girlfriend or Vicky’s friend.”

“Don’t be silly, you are Ellen, my girlfriend.” I squeeze her hand. “I’m Portia and I’m your girlfriend, I’m proud to be your girlfriend.” I pull her into my side to cuddle.

“You don’t understand.”

“I do but I don’t care what others say. I love you, period.” I kiss the side of her head.

“I don’t deserve you, you forget about all that just like that? If it were anyone else they wouldn’t talk to me ever again.”

“You want me to be that someone?” She dismisses that thought with a shake of her head. “Then forget about what happened and kiss me.” Ellen complies instantly turning her head in a swift motion.

I look into her blue eyes as she pulls me by my neck to gently place her lips on mine. The kiss starts slow, sweet, and tender. Soon it deepens, her left hand comes up to the back of my head keeping me in place. Mine cups her cheek caressing it with light touches.

Ellen traces her tongue over my lower lip asking for entrance which I gladly grant. I moan as her soft tongue glides over mine, she pushes back on my shoulder to lay down. She lays between my legs and pulls away for much needed air, we stare at each other for a couple of seconds before she dives into my neck.

A bite under my ear draws out a throaty moan. Her lips nibble my earlobe, the moist breath sending shivers down my back. I feel nimble fingers find their way to my waist sneaking under my shirt. Fingertips tickle my stomach as they make their way up and stop just below my breasts.

My back arches to the touch of her hand on my right breast, I open my eyes to find hers clouded with lust. This has escalated too quickly. I let my head fall back against the ground and look up at the completely dark sky full of stars. My rational side takes over.

“Ellen- stop-” I try to push on her shoulder. “Not here.” She continues to kiss my neck, I hiss as her teeth close over my sensitive skin entirely ignoring me.

“I want you.” She whispers over my lips. It takes all of me to reject her.

“We’re in a park Ellen, not here.”

“I’m sorry, I got- a little carried away.” She blushes and hides her face in the crook of my neck. I giggle.

“I was about to give in but I’m not into exhibitionism.” I tease her causing for her blush to deepen. “I’m kidding, come here.” She snuggles closer to me as I wrap my arm around her.

“I missed this, I missed you.” Ellen mumbles.

“So did I.” We both sigh at the same time. “Jessica likes you more than a friend by the way.”

“Really?”

“Did you not notice?” She shakes her head. “I thought I had lost you, I thought you liked her back.”

“The only one I thought about was you, I always think of you Portia I can’t help it.”

“You’re so corny baby.” I bring her hand to my lips. “I love it.”

“You wouldn’t if I was saying them to Jess-” We’re back to same position we were before except this time I’m on top. I take her lip between my teeth and lightly bite on it to show my disapproval.

“Jessica will never hear them because you’re mine. Forever.” I state.

“You’re jealous.” She banters with a smirk. I wipe it off her face with a kiss. “Forever.” She murmurs.

“We should skip school tomorrow and go on an official date.”

“But we can’t skip school we have-” I cut her off with a kiss. “That art project and-” Another kiss. “You have soccer practice and-” I kiss her again and this time I don’t pull away.

“It’ll be ok, just one day. You won’t regret it.”

“What do I get if I agree?” She asks playfully.

“A million and one kisses.”

“Now who’s the corny one.” We both giggle. “We should go home, it’s late.” She says softly.

“I don’t wanna.” I protest and snuggle more into her.

“I’m sorry about everything, you didn’t deserve that.” She plays with my hair as she speaks. “I’m not worthy of you but I love you Portia, so much.” My heart feels like if it’s about to explode from happiness.

“You’re as worthy of me as I am of you, I love you Ellen.” I kiss her lips and rest my head on her chest, her arms wrap around me tightly. I sigh. I feel so at peace in her arms I never want her to let go. I feel so safe in her embrace, I feel like I belong there. I never want to know how it is to live without her.

Chapter 25

“James I need your help. Please. I’m freaking out.” I run my fingers through my hair exasperated. I pace my room back and forth, I rub the bridge of my nose as I fall on my bed.

“Calm down Port. What’s wrong?” He asks worried.

“What’s wrong?” I take a deep breath. “Everything is wrong. I’m doomed.” I groan into the phone.

“Do you want me to come over?”

I shake my head. “Dates. Dates are the problem. I need an idea for a date for tomorrow.” I turn over on my stomach and bury my face into my pillow.

“Who are you taking to a date?”

“Who do you think dummy, Ellen my girlfriend. We are skipping school because I want to spend the day with her but I haven’t come up with an idea that will blow her mind away.” He laughs. “You are no help.”

“Who would have thought that a simple date could freak out the popular, confident Portia.” James teases me, I roll my eyes. “I need to come over and see this myself.” He chuckles.

“Don’t you dare!” I instantly sit up, he just keeps laughing. “Stop laughing and help me you ass.”

“Alright, alright let me think.” Silence falls as he thinks of an idea to help me. “How about a little trip? You have your driver’s license, take my car and just drive to a lake or something.” I ponder over this, it sounds like a nice idea. Even a better one comes to mind.

“Does your family still have that boat that you used this past summer?”

“The one you know how to drive but I don’t?” I laugh out loud. He still can’t get the hang of it, it’s just like driving a car, well to me it is.

“Yeah that one, I need it for tomorrow.”

“WHAT? Portia are you crazy, I’m not allowed to-”

“Please?” He groans. “Pretty please?” Even if he can’t see me I pout and he knows I’ll get my way.

“Why are you doing this to me, come on dad isn’t easy to convince.”

“Make something up, I want to impress my girl come on.” I blush at my own words. My girl. A smile spreads across my face.

“Your girl huh?” He teases me making my blush to deepen. “I- dad will ask a lot of questions Portia but I’ll see what I can do ok?” I sigh. Hopefully he can help me make this happen.

“I know you’ll achieve it, thank you so much.” I send him a kiss through the phone, he groans and I laugh. “I owe you.”

“Oh yes you do. So you and Ellen are back together?” I hum my assent. “Weren’t you two like fighting today at school?”

“Well, I went to her house unexpectedly and Jessica was there so I flipped out. I think we yelled at each other or I yelled at her. She ran out of her house and I followed her. We ended up arguing in the park, when we both calmed down we talked. It was Rachel’s fault, she made something up again.” I finish with my rant falling back into my bed.

“What an eventful day you’ve had.” He jokes.

“It had the perfect end.” Silence falls between us again. I sigh. “Please let me know if it’s possible or not, I’m running out of time.” I start to get anxious again.

“He just came home, let me go do the impossible.” I hear doors opening and closing and his parents talking. “I’ll call you back.” He hangs up and my nerves take the best of me. I get up from my bed and start pacing my room again, I tap my phone on my fingers continuously.

Five minutes pass. Ten. Fifteen. I sit on the edge of my bed with my legs bouncing up and down. My phone ringing in my hand startles me and I drop it on the floor. I bend down to pick it, I look at the caller id and answer it right away.

“What took you so long?” I ask as soon as I place it on my ear.

“He was not easy to convince, took longer than I thought.”

“And?”

“Tomorrow come take the keys. Before school starts I’ll call to inform them that they need to have it ready. All you have to do is give the keys to a guy named Josh. Him and his team will have it fueled and tied up at the dock, they also will be the ones waiting when you get back.” The huge smile plastered on my face made my cheeks hurt.

“You’re the best. I love you Jamie.” He groans at my nickname for him.

“I’ll be waiting for you after my parents leave ok?” I nod then realize he can’t see me.

“Yes I’ll be there, I promise.” I’m so excited it’s hard to hide. “This means so much, how can I thank you?”

“Just don’t wreck it.” He laughs. “I’m kidding, you helped a lot my situation with Vicky so this is more like my way of thanking you. Tomorrow I’m taking her out.” His voice becomes shy, he’s probably blushing.

“I hope you have a great time, it was about time you made a move.”

“Oh shut up or no boat for you.”

“No, no ok I stop.” We both laugh. “I’ll let you go, it’s getting late. See you tomorrow Jamie.” He starts whining as I press the red button to end the call. I don’t think I’ll be able to get any sleep tonight.

I roll out of bed with a spring in my step. I’m so unbelievably happy it’s surreal. Ellen and I are back together, today we will have the perfect date and I can’t wait to spend the whole day with her. No interruptions from anyone or anything.

The time on my phone says 6:35, I woke up a little too early to go to James’ house. I walk downstairs and go to the kitchen, I could use some breakfast today. If only I could make pancakes as good as Ellen, or get Ellen to make them for me every morning. It would be a dream to wake up next to her everyday for the rest of my life.

An hour later I grab my keys and pull over Ellen's hoodie on me ready to go to James’ house. I start humming my favorite song as I walk the short distance. I knock twice on the door not ten seconds pass before James appears before it. He laughs as I jump to hug him, my excitement is contagious.

“Someone's happy.” He teases as we walk towards the kitchen.

“Very, I can't wait for this unforgettable day to start.” James sits to finish eating his breakfast. I impatiently drum my fingers on the table, he shakes his head at how anxious I am.

“You should relax.”

“Oh I'm planning to.” I wink making him choke on his orange juice. “It'll be a really relaxing day.” He rolls his eyes.

“I don't think I want to know what's gonna happen in that boat.” The blush creeps up on me before I know it.

“There'll be a lot of-” His hand comes up in front of me to stop talking.

“Of you getting in her pants.” I could feel my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “I don't want to know more.” He laughs.

“It's not my fault I'm getting more than you.” I banter and he huffs.

“I'm not telling you about my sex life.”

“I don't want to know about something nonexistent” I deadpan. He feings hurt before we both start laughing. He gets up and cleans up after himself then calls me over into the living room.

“Alright. Here.” James places the keys on my hand and holds it between his. “Please be careful. Don't get lost. Don't get injured but most importantly please don't wreck it.” I gasp.

“So the boat is more important than your best friend and your best friend's girlfriend?”

“Well the boat costs nearly a million and you… well you are priceless.” He plays along. “I'm just kidding, I wouldn't change you for all the money in the world. See? Priceless.” I roll my eyes. He can't be sentimental even when he tries.

“Good try.” I smack his shoulder. “Now, I give them to Josh then what?”

“They'll help you in anything you need but you need to be back by ten o'clock so they help you put it back in the dock. You don't have to do anything so don't worry about it ok?” He eyes show concern. I nod and throw my arms around his torso.

“You're awesome, I'll return it safe and sound don't worry.”

“I am aren't I?” He states with his signature smug smirk. “If you want I'll wait for you so I give you two a ride home.” His offer warms my heart.

“That would be nice but wouldn't it interrupt your date with Vicky?” I wiggle my eyebrows.

“Why are you so annoying?” I giggle. We walk back to the kitchen for him to grab his keys and his backpack. “I'll be there just let me know when you're coming back.”

“You're so bossy.” I huff. He opens the front door letting walk through it first like the gentleman he tries to be. “Alright I've got to go and prepare all of this. I'm going all out, wish me luck.” We hug then part ways, I go back home and he goes to school.

Once I'm home I start rummaging through my closet for my two-piece bathing suit, I certainly plan on swimming with Ellen when we're out there. I really hope she does know how to swim and she that she won't get seasick.

I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach, I'm very nervous about today. Now that I look at my bed it looks really comfy and a little rest could maybe help me relax a little bit. My eyes close as soon as my head touches my pillow.

Something vibrating and ringing in my pocket puts a halt to my short nap. I groan as I turn over on my back pulling my phone out to answer it without checking who it might be.

"Hello?" I croak out.

"Portia? Are you sleeping? Dude, what happened to your date?" James asks and I hastily get up to check the time on my nightstand. My eyes widened in shock, I curse under my breath.

"I fell asleep- I... I need to go."

"No shit... I'm calling to tell you that I called the marina, they expect you an hour and you just do what I told you." I hear the bell ring in the background, it's fifteen minutes after eight and I still don't have everything ready. "Alright, gotta go. Have fun and be careful."

"Thank you for everything." I send him a kiss and hang up. Great, now I'm running late. I think to myself as I run my fingers through my long hair.

I grab my backpack emptying it on my bed, everything falls out so graciously to the floor. I pick up my books and folders grumbling how I don't have time to waste.

I change into my two-piece and wear a t-shirt and shorts over it. I stuff in my backpack two small blankets and two towels. Phone and keys are in the small pocket of my backpack. I keep the boat's keys in my hand, I can't afford to forget those.

Glen Cove Marina is fifteen to twenty minutes by foot, if I had a car I would be there in half of that time and I would be able to pick up Ellen. Now that I think of it... I need to give her a call, this will be no date without her. I swing my backpack over my shoulder and grab my phone.

"Hey." Ellen answers sheepishly.

"Hey baby." A smile forms on my lips. "What are you doing?" I ask as I check the road before I cross it.

"I'm in bed, I said I felt sick so now I have to stay in bed. It was an order from mama actually." She complains and I laugh.

"Will you be able to get away? I have a place I want to take you, I'm sure you'll love it."

"Where? Or you won't tell me?"

"It's a surprise, if I tell you it won't be anymore. Will it?"

"I guess not but how will I get there if I don't know where I'm going?" I groan, I did not see that coming.

"Okay you win, I'll tell you the name of it but nothing else so don't ask." I tease her, I'm sure she's rolling her eyes. "Meet me in around an hour in Glen Cove Marina."

"What are we doing in a marina?"

"You'll see but bring your swimwear and some snacks."

"Are we going swimming?" I chuckle, she'll just keep asking questions. I ignore it politely not wanting to give anything of my plan away.

"In an hour, don't be late. I love you Ellen."

"I see how you are, fine. I love you too even if you're unfair." I laugh at how silly she is. I put my phone in the backpack and pick up my pace. I can smell and feel the light ocean breeze already. I walk towards the main pier to ask for this Josh person.

There’s a guy with tousled black hair leaned against a post taking in his surroundings as I make my way towards him, he seems to work here. When he spots me he gets up and waits for me, I pick up my pace and smile when I reach him.

“You must be Portia, right?” He asks as he shakes my hand.

“I am but how did you know?”

“I’m Josh, James called and described you.” I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and he laughs. I shake my head at how silly I am before I chuckle, I hold tight on the straps of my backpack while he tells me what he and James talked about.

He starts walking further into the pier, I follow close behind him as we walk by so many boats. We turn to the left towards open water, three other guys are waiting by a boat which looks a lot like James’. What Dreams May Come says on the back of the boat, I wonder what it means to James’ family.

“Here she is.” Josh points at this beautiful boat in front of us. I was here just a couple of months ago but it still amazes me how elegant it looks.

“She’s beautiful.” I take a step closer to take a better view at the boat. “James told me to give you these and you would take care of everything.” I fish out the keys from my front pocket and hand them to him.

“I’ll have everything ready in no time, you just sit and relax.” Josh places his hand on my shoulder, gives me a smile and walks away. He starts giving instructions to the other guys who nod and do as he says.

In the meanwhile I go sit on a bench just a couple of feet away to wait for Ellen. I place my left leg over my right, cross my arms over my chest and lean back to take in everything around me. I see how Josh and his fellow co-workers work on getting the boat out of it’s small space.

My phone’s ringtone takes me out my trance, a smile spreads across my face when I read Ellen’s name on the screen. I clear my throat before I press the green button.

“Portia. Baby, I’m lost.” She groans, I can’t hold my laugh and she starts whining. “Don’t laugh, I’m serious here. Where are you? Where am I? Where do I go?” She sighs in frustration.

“Babe.” I giggle, I just can’t help it. “What’s near you?”

“Boats. Lots of them.”

“Do you see the pier that goes towards open water? Get to that one, I’m waiting.”

“Why are we here, you don’t own a boat and neither do I.”

“A surprise, just get here. It’s almost ready to go.”

“What’s almost ready-”

“Ellen.” I cut her off. “Get your butt over here baby.” All I get in response is silence and I think I lost her when someone sneaks up behind me.

“Boo!” I nearly send my phone flying across the pier and into the water. Ellen walks around the bench and sits next to me. She bends over as she keeps laughing her butt off. I feign being angry and give her a scowl when she turns to look at me with her teary eyes and red face.

“That was not nice.” I stick my tongue out at her.

“I couldn’t resist, I’m sorry. Come here.”

“No.” I huff. She tries to pull me into her arms but I don’t give in. “You have to earn it.” I wink and get up since Josh was coming towards us.

“Ladies, ready to go?” He asks excited looking at me then at Ellen and back at me

“We are, baby come on.” I smile and I grab her hand. I tug on it but she doesn’t budge. She’s glued to her spot, I smile and stand in front of her.

“Portia- a boat?!” She asks confused but surprised. “Baby where did you get a boat? Who will drive it?” I shake my head, she’s asking too many questions today.

“Surprise!” I say sheepishly. “Trust me?” I ask softly as I tug at her hand, she follows me and I follow Josh towards the railing that will help us get in the boat.

“Always.” Ellen pulls our intertwined hands to her lips and kisses mine. “I love you.” She whispers against my hand, I feel like if I’m falling more in love with her. Not even these rough days we had have lessened the love I have for her.